Saturday, January 27, 2007

2 words causing aghast out the wazooo!!!

OK, so i know i don't have a bad situation. In fact, it's quite good. I pretty much have the whole upstairs of my parents house to my-self. So, I know it really shouldn't bother me, but it does like crazy! When I hear my mom yell, "SUPPER'S READY!!" I swear my heart drops into my stomach. It is so frustrating because I am 20 years old, if i didn't have Multiple Sclerosis, I would NOT be living at home. Every part of me wishes i could be elsewhere. Now, sense i have said that, i must describe my home and parents. My parents are the most loving, patient, and caring human beings that I could have ever asked for. But the fact of the matter is, I need to be "free" I need to be on my own, making my own food, cleaning my own clothes. I need this Stem Cell Transplant to work. Birdy desperately wants to fly away from the nest. Not because the nest is bad. But because he "needs" to. But, I can be comfortable in the fact that God knows the desires of my heart. I don't need to worry about pushing anything. I am right where I need to be, until he makes it painfully obvious. As hard as it is for me to swallow that. "Gulp," I can.

1 comment:

Lucy said...

I know the feeling. And trust me when I say it's even harder to go back when you realize you may not have really been ready. But I do have some good news in this comment, I interviewed to get my old job at the Sheriff's department back and at 3:00 Friday afternoon they called and set up an appointment for a polygraph! This is good because last time I got hired for this job the polygraph meant you were hired!!! But wait, there's more! I have been praying about buying my grandma's house and the answer I got was a new job...if this all comes to fruition, I may be in the hunt for roommates...