Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I wanna swim in the river, and lie in the sun, I wanna try to be nice to everyone.
Today was good. I am doing better every day. I would really like to find a small group. Maybe a bible study, or something to that effect. I would really like some accountability. That is always a good thing.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
LOL. Ohh, I am actually laughing out loud too, that is the funny part. As I was mowing grass today, it really became apparent to me about something. We were mowing the middle area of a Jr. College, and it struck me. These people look down on me............and if I was in their shoes, even though they are walking out of a Jr. College, they are trying to better their lives. I am mowing grass. MARK MY WORDS! I am going to save up, buy a car, and get my butt back in school. I think I would really like to study to become a counselor. I love people, I love helping, I am good at talking to people, and people have come to me for advice since I started opening my mouth and voicing my opinion. I figure this much anyways. I am the kind of person who needs to have that drive to do something like college. If I am going to classes, and I tell myself I am doing it so I can be a counselor. If I run into something else I find I may enjoy, THEN SO BE IT!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
bad news: the doctor that I have had since I was diagnosed in 2005 will no longer be my practicing physician at the Indiana Center for Multiple Sclerosis and Neuroimmunopathological Disorders. It isn't that she quit because she doesn't like it or what not. And this is only my assumption, but at the center the doctors do it pretty much as a labor of love. They believe in the work of Dr. Kolar, and want the best for the over 750 patients seen there. It is a private institute, and doesn't get the government funding that it should. Clare Braun-Hashemi, MD is probably moving on for several reasons. AGAIN JUST MY ASSUMPTION, but I know she put in ample amounts of hours, and probably doesn't have a whole lot of time for family life. Maybe it is time she wants to start a family. I don't know, I do know that I will miss her greatly. I felt like she understood my deposition on unfamiliar drug use, and cared about me as an individual.
I have a follow up MRI in middle October. It will be the 1 year mark from my last MRI. They will check to see if I have any new lesion activity. I'm not even going to say that my fingers are crossed, I am going to say...my lips will be praying.
I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope I hear from the bakery. I really really do. But, I honestly don't know what to expect. I don't even have a gut instinct. Usually I would be very optimistic, but I have not a clue what to think. SO, I wait.
Ohhh yea, the Journal Gazette will be publishing a follow up story on me soon. The man did not give me a direct date, but interviewed me over the phone and told me it would be soon. SO, if you are interested in this follow up interview check the papers this week. If it does show up, please leave me a comment on the day it does, or drop me an E-Mail. I would love to read it.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
1.) Revenge: When we seek revenge when someone does us wrong sometimes keeps us from fully forgiving our enemy.
2.) Resentment: When we resent our enemy so much, it can keep us from forgiving them.
3.) Regret: When we hold the regrets of things we did in the past can keep us from forgiving ourselves.
4.) Resisting Blessing: And when thinking we are not worthy of blessings can keep us from fully completing the forgiveness process.
I loved it, and during the praise and worship part of church, I was floating on a cloud of praise. I really enjoyed it. I want to find someone who can help me get to church until I get my license and a vehicle. I would also really like to find a new small group to join up. To keep me accountable to all the important things.
Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment at the Indiana Center for Multiple Sclerosis in Indianapolis. I have lots of questions for my doc. about some new medications, and I hope it goes well. I really really do.
I noticed something in church today. I don't know anything for sure, I never do. BUT, I did start to feel my legs tremble slightly. Not even enough to notice it with your eyes, but I could feel it from within. It didn't worry me, it just made me very aware of it.
It was very nice to talk with you. I'm glad circumstances allowed that to happen. ;-)
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Here are a couple of pictures of when she fell asleep right next to me on the couch. She is actually a pretty well behaved pup. She chews a little bit, but that is only because she is teething. That stage will pass soon. I think this dog is going to grow up to be pretty darn big. She has some HUGE paws for such a little puppy. Trouble (Tony's older pit bull) doesn't know quite how to react to her living in her domain yet. But, if all goes well I think she will take the part of the doggie role model. Hoping for that anyways. I got to get to bed though, I have church tomorrow and this time my dad is going with me. It's good to know I have a ride there anyways.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I am totally exhausted, I have to go to bed PRONTO or else I will pass out right here at the computer.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
I am lucky to have good adult role models in my life. One specifically is Bill; co-worker, friend, and positive influence. I was really taken today when he asked my opinion on a serious matter in his life. He was giving me a ride home after work and asked more specifically about something he mentioned earlier in the day. I felt really honered that he wanted my opinion on the subject.
I had my first ~RaNdOm~ check in today. Now, I am making the bunny ears with my fingers when I say "random check in." It is a part of my unsupervised probation, but there is absloutly nothing random about it. In fact, my next ~RaNdOm~ check in is schedueled for November 16th. They are telling me 3 months in advance! Pretty random huh?
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
I totally shot a strike after this picture was taken. Just goes to show you don't have to have pretty form to throw a good strike. ;-)josh did pretty good tonight, there was a point during the course of the night that he had like 4 strikes in a row. You can tell who is actually good a bowling when they can bowl with consistancy. None of us could do that. Here is a picture of Chris after he threw a gutter ball. He threw a lot of those during the evening. But, I think he had a really good time.
I didn't work today because of the massive amount of rain we have been getting. It's weird. If we get no rain at all, I don't work because there is no grass to cut. If we get non-stop rain forever, I also don't mow(work) because the ground is too wet to work on.
I also realized today how much I miss my friends in China. How much I miss the environment, the culture, and the general way of life. Does that make me an odd ball? Maybe, I don't care though.
Every night for like the past 2 weeks, I have these crazy vivid dreams. I can only remember what I dream for like 1/2 hour after I wake up. I never take the time to write it down. But it's weird because when I am dreaming, I can't tell I am dreaming untill I wake up.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Ya see, even though I can't plug my phone directly into my computer; because of it's current state, I can still utilize my technology. Ya see, I can take a picture with my phone, and instead of sending that picture to another phone, I can send it directly to my E-Mail. BAM! Now I got pictures from my phone on my parents computer.
The night ended up with some cool information I got from my "half brother" Troy. I found out why I have always been so susceptible to bloody noses. I don't understand it completely, but when it told me it did make sense. I also got to hang out with my buddy Jason Burdick and Adam Eichel. It was good stuff.
Friday, August 17, 2007
SO, I had an hour to kill before the interview. I couldn't get in my car because 1. I don't have a car, and 2. I don't have a license. I started walking around down town Fort Wayne. I found a place to sit and saw something crazy!I posted up next to a 1 WAY street. As you can see, there are 2 lanes of traffic flowing in one direction. All of a sudden, I see a white Fort Taurus come racing down the street. There was a crazy lady driving, and a male passenger. I wish I would have had my phone ready when it was speeding past me, because she looked crazy. Right to the left of this picture, there is a stop light. She didn't see a street light I guess, because there isn't one facing traffic that isn't suppose to be there. She went right into the middle of the intersection before coming to a screeching hault! Then took off again driving the way. It was very random and pretty entertaining, just glad no one got hurt. OK, so now to the interview. Everything went alright, and even though I was pretty nervous, I trust that all is well. Here is the reason I was fretting. Upon acceptance, you have to submit a hair analysis drug screen. Now, if I had to take a urine test, there would be no worrying, and all would be well in the world. BUT, hair analysis drug screen's can look back far into your substance history. And although I have been clean for quite some time, I do not know how far back they will be looking. It worries me. I did however, get some killer advice from my dad while he was driving me to the interview. He told me, "Mike, I know your worrying about the interview and test, BUT, you can't control your past. You can only control your future. Keep doing what your doing, and everything will work out. If you are meant to get this job, you will pass the test." I am going to have to be ok with that. Plus, Jeff the general manager who interviewed me told me it would be 1 to 2 weeks before I heard back with their decision.
I got a bloody nose today as you can see. It wasn’t your normal bloody nose either. It has been really humid out, so you can’t say it is because of the dry weather. This is my 2nd bloody nose this week, and it was a pretty ferocious one. I do know that I was pretty stressed out today, but I can’t equate being really stressed out to a bloody nose. Also, I have never heard of M/S causing a bloody nose. I just don’t know. I need to take a deep breath, and just chill.
Then, at the end of the day, I managed to sell my old pick up truck to a group in Fort Wayne that post's signs all over the city called "CASH FOR JUNK CAR'S"
Yes, that's right, no more Mr. Truck. She is over and done with. She served me good, although even for a short while. Got my monies worty out of her. Big friggin 302 Mustang engine, and squealing tires made her fun to drive. Wonder what the next car will be.....
Thursday, August 16, 2007
5 months old, and as CUTE AS EVER! This is the first time I have gotten a chance to see the lil guy, but I am so glad I got to. Such a cutie, and well....just look at him!
You have to watch this video. This little girl is so adorable. I hope I have a little child like this some day.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
From what I can understand it works kind of like a vaccine. I think it sounds pretty exciting, but who knows the long term effects.
Today was good, I did a lot of push mowing. :-) It is getting closer and closer to Friday. I am getting excited for my interview at the Bakery. WHOO HOOO! I'm tired, bout time for bed.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
1.) at one of the properties way out in the country, I was mowing this ladies lawn(big yard) and the mower I was using sucked....She came up to me and asked if I wanted to use her Brand NEW X-Mark mower. It had a 60" deck, and was amazing. That made my morning.
2.) I called the bakery, and, I HAVE AN INTERVIEW THIS FRIDAY!!!
3.) After work my friend Chad and his g/f and also my friend Joy asked me if I wanted to go to a movie with some friends. Well, I got to talk a bit with an old associate from high school. I didn't call her a friend, but we weren't really "not friends" So, I suppose associate would be fitting. She was looking as cute as ever.
Monday, August 13, 2007
If I had a good Photo editing program I would have zoomed in and enlarged the picture of her Uncle so you could get a really good comparison. But, this will do. The upper left picture is of Mer's Uncle. Her dad's brother. Look at the eyes, and the nose. For someone who is adopted, to see evidence like this, after a whole life time of not knowing. Well, it brings closure that most people wouldn't ever be able to understand. On the bottom of the tomb stone, it said "Born in Yugoslavia." My mom and dad drove to New Jersey to pick up my sister. That is where her Birth parents are from. But, her father was born in Yugoslavia. You can definitely see it in Mer. This is just a huge thing. I am so happy for her, and it is an answer to prayers. It really is. God is soo good. Congratulations Merideth! Love you!
Today was good I suppose. Umm, I was reminded early on this morning that some people aren't on the same level as me. That I need to distance myself from some people, even if it means sitting and waiting by myself for 35 minutes. That is just the way life is. As long as everyone can respect each others opinions, things should be fine. I worked hard, and my foreman told me that I was really on the ball, and did a good job. That is always good to hear.
Tomorrow I call Perfection Bakery. The guy told my dad to have me call him. So, we will see what comes of this. Hopefully it works out, and I get the job.....If not, at least I have Vision Scapes. Either way I am covered and good to go.
My health has not changed since last Monday. I feel the same, which in my opinion is a very very good thing. I am in good spirits, and feel confident about my health. Although, that may be kind of a risky way to feel. Things can change very quickly health wise.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
OK, the lady in the blue Capri's looked very familiar. I could not think of her name for the life of me though. All day long it bothered me, and I didn't want to be embarrassed to go and ask her just in case she was someone I should have known. SO, I asked around and found out she use to work at my High School. BAM, problem solved. It was such a beautiful day. The clouds were so pretty, and it was just sooo much fun.Here is some live action. You randomly picked your partner, so there wasn't any unfair advantages for anyone. Out of 35 people, I picked Brad as my partner. WHAT LUCK! lol. Then the coolest part. THE FREE T-SHIRT! The Got Hole was on the front.This was on the back. Now I have something to wear to remember my memories for a long time. So much fun. I tell you what, going to the lake is a big motivator for me to get an education and a good job. I want to be able to afford a lake cottage, and a boat. That would suit me just fine. And there were some mondo expensive houses on this lake.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
“It's amazing what ordinary people can do if they set out without preconceived notions.” -Charles F. Kettering
It was pouring!! Lightening, thunder, wind! I LOVE IT!
Got along good today. I am sweating more than ever, but I am actually thinking it may not be a bad thing. Like, my body heats up so easily, maybe this is it's last ditch effort to cool things down inside. I dunno, tremors are still non present, and that is really good.
Good news came today also. Today was my dad's last day at the bakery. Well, this guy Jeff told him to have me call him on Tuesday. SO, I am gonna give Jeff a call and see what he "may" have for me. I am not getting my hopes up, but I am definately going to follow through with it. ;-)
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Something kind of scary did happen today. Almost made me jump out of my socks. We mow a retirement home. The middle of the building has an open area with mulch beds and grass, I forget what is the name for it.........running a blank. Anyways, STEVE the preacher was push mowing, and I was weed whipping. I looked out of the corner of my eye and see this employee running full steam towards me. I'm thinking, "jeez Mikey, you screwed up on the first day back?" Come to find out, she was running at me because the truck and trailer were parked right out in front. And one of the residents was having health issues, she needed me to move the truck A.S.A.P.! I did, and it wasn't a big deal. BUT, I was worried for a second. I give today 2 thumbs up because I got my job back, I worked hard, and feel good.
Also, I gave Jay Rozelle a call today. I just wanted to touch base with him, let him know I got my job back at Vision Scapes. He was glad to hear that, and seemed glad for the update. I feel like I am really going out of my comfort zone by attempting to make the new relationship possibility work. Most of my friends are the direct opposite. BUT, I am getting sick of being around people who influence me in negative ways. It is such a relief to talk to someone who carries the same values as me, and acts on them. It's good. He said he will give me a call next week sometime, and maybe we can hang out or something to that effect.
Also, I have actually been doing a lot for people and the Stem Cell Cause for someone "not doing anything." I hope I will be able to keep my level of commitment to the people who have reached out to me, either for guidence, or what not.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
1.) Things happen in an order
Although breakthru's in science are happening all the time, bringing us closer to finding what causes M/S, to date the exact factor is unknown. It could have something to do with genetic's, or it could be due to environmental factors. In either way, the good function of the body to protect itself, becomes corrupted. The symptoms of M/S come into view when the destruction of the myelin starts to occur.
As I understand, once all this happens and you have damage to the myelin, you STILL may not even see any new lesions show up in the brain or spinal cord. The reason is this. The lesions start to show up after the myelin has been damaged, then SCARRED OVER. Once the body attempts to create what you can think of as a "scab" over the damaged myelin, that is when it may show up on an MRI. From the first day Multiple Sclerosis shows up in your body, to the very first appearence of a lesion could take weeks, months, years, or a lifetime. I could have damage that occured when I was 15 that won't show up till i'm 30 years old!
In good ole America, the vast majority of the doctors believe that once the myelin in the brain is damaged, it can not be reversed or fixed. The Chinese see it differently, they believe that just like any other system of the body that the Stem Cells have created, they can regrow this myelin, especially when certain growth factors are in play.
For about 4 month's before I left for China I was experiencing tremors in my fingers, arms, and legs. So much so that it would dissrupt daily life. Not to mention worry the crap out of me. I have been back from China for a little over a month. I have NO tremors. Personally, I thank the stem cell therapy. But, it could be due to a number of reasons. I haven't been physically active, and when I am intensly physically active, it always spurs M/S activity. Also, I have stayed on my Avonex, which I have had multiple exacerbations when I first started it. And lastly, we haven't hit the cold months. The cold months are the hardest for my body to cope with it seems. That's it, I think I have covered everything health. lol.
PS I applied for this "land management" company today called LML Estate. Seemed like a decent size company. Not 100% sure what they do exactly, but I would assume they take care of land???
Sunday, August 05, 2007
So, today I talked my mom into coming to my church. I couldn't get a ride from one of the usual rides, and I didn't want to go to my moms church, so she agreed to come to MY CHURCH. It was really fun, and we both enjoyed the sermon, and communion. Today we ended the 10 week sermon about the Dead Sea Rules. It was really good, I wish I could have been there for all 10 weeks, but now I am hooked, and have a drive to make it to church no matter what the outside reason. Church has to take top priority. It isn't something you do on Sunday, it is a life style choice, and I have a drive to make that true for me.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
The rest of the day I spent at home. The father ordered some pizza, and then I challenged my mind by watching the History Channel. ;-)
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
I painted the part inbetween the top screen, and the bottom screen. You can see in the lower left corner where I accidently dribbled a bit of paint....oops. I wrote Preston this morning. I hope he gets something out of my words. I put a lot of thought into it, and I want what is best for him, but he needs to decide it on his own. Through a friend of the family, I might be helping out with a High School out reach program soon. I am kind of excited to see where this will go. Ohhh, and I went to the BMV today and got everything figuered out. It is going to cost about....A LOT for me to get car insurance, and my license will be suspended for about 4 months. :-(
Could be worse though. A lot worse.