attitude is everything

If you want to have a good day, it isn't going to be your activities, work, hobbies, girl friends, cash or weather that will make the difference. If you wake up and decide, "hey, I am going to live this day to the fullest, and get something out of it," THEN YOU WILL. You could be picking trash up every day, if you have that attitude boost, then you are good to go.

I had a great day today. A good buddy that moved out of town came to the Fort (Fort Wayne) and hung out with the whole crew. It was really fun, and we watched Die Hard 1 & 3. Great time, good stories from time long past, and lots of laugh's. I really care greatly about my friends. They are genuine and I know they will always support me. I have so many people in my life, and the longer life goes on, the more I realize how absloutly vital that is to have in your life. Stay true to the people who care about you, that is what I have learned about with friendship's. It pay's off.

I have a goal, It is time to get crackin on it, I want to get back into school, and the faster I can save up to buy a car, the faster I can make that happen. I WILL do it, and i'm a little bit excited about it. Mikey on a mission, look out. ;-)

life is good.

LIFE IS GOOD! If you don't have much time, or a slow cabel connection, don't bother clicking that link. It's really really good though. :-)

I wanna swim in the river, and lie in the sun, I wanna try to be nice to everyone.

Today was good. I am doing better every day. I would really like to find a small group. Maybe a bible study, or something to that effect. I would really like some accountability. That is always a good thing.

sooo tired.

If I could only invent something....

If I could invent something like this. It is the part used in the hydroelectric dam in Niagara falls to produce electricity. ughhh, I would probably have to be an engineer though. In the immortal words of Homer Simpson, "DO'OH!" Or maybe I could just get really good at cards like Bill Malone. This dude is set for life, Guarantee it!

LOL. Ohh, I am actually laughing out loud too, that is the funny part. As I was mowing grass today, it really became apparent to me about something. We were mowing the middle area of a Jr. College, and it struck me. These people look down on me............and if I was in their shoes, even though they are walking out of a Jr. College, they are trying to better their lives. I am mowing grass. MARK MY WORDS! I am going to save up, buy a car, and get my butt back in school. I think I would really like to study to become a counselor. I love people, I love helping, I am good at talking to people, and people have come to me for advice since I started opening my mouth and voicing my opinion. I figure this much anyways. I am the kind of person who needs to have that drive to do something like college. If I am going to classes, and I tell myself I am doing it so I can be a counselor. If I run into something else I find I may enjoy, THEN SO BE IT!

IT WAS PUBLISHED TODAY! IT WAS PUBLISHED TODAY!

I was so excited when I read the article, I almost jumped for joy.

Yes, that's right, the article in the Fort Wayne, Journal Gazette came out today. It was great, well written, and right on. Sometimes I have noticed that people tend to embellish on the real story. Not sure why, maybe it's because of something else they have read or written about, or what. I just know that Frank Gray does an excellent job. He is extremely accurate, and cares. If I had more than 2 thumbs, I would put them up as well. Kudos to you Frank Gray. If you missed the article in the news paper....like I did. Then Click this link. It will never time out, because I published the article on my web-site. I am hosting it, and anyone can check it out any time they would like to.

~Journal Gazette Article~

I had a great day today also. Worked hard, got in some extra hours, and really thought about something. Something very important; my future. I think that I could be very motivated to go to college to study to become a Counselor. Not sure what kind, maybe a high school counselor, or something of that nature. I just know it would fit me. I love people, and I am pretty good at looking through the bull shit we as humans put forward so often. It has just been something to stick in the back of my head since my mom mentioned it on our trip back from the Doc. in Indy. I am going to pray about it, and continue to seek guidance from the big guy. But, it doesn't turn me off. And as far as schooling goes, it really helps me to have something in mind for the reason why I am going to school. That is that. It's an idea anyways.

had a M/S appt. today in Indy

good news: my strength is good, balance is good, vision in right eye is excellent, no "new" symptoms, and no one out right called me an idiot for having a stem cell treatment done in China. LOL. I hope you sense my subtle sarcasm in that last one. "chuckle chuckle"
bad news: the doctor that I have had since I was diagnosed in 2005 will no longer be my practicing physician at the Indiana Center for Multiple Sclerosis and Neuroimmunopathological Disorders. It isn't that she quit because she doesn't like it or what not. And this is only my assumption, but at the center the doctors do it pretty much as a labor of love. They believe in the work of Dr. Kolar, and want the best for the over 750 patients seen there. It is a private institute, and doesn't get the government funding that it should. Clare Braun-Hashemi, MD is probably moving on for several reasons. AGAIN JUST MY ASSUMPTION, but I know she put in ample amounts of hours, and probably doesn't have a whole lot of time for family life. Maybe it is time she wants to start a family. I don't know, I do know that I will miss her greatly. I felt like she understood my deposition on unfamiliar drug use, and cared about me as an individual.

I have a follow up MRI in middle October. It will be the 1 year mark from my last MRI. They will check to see if I have any new lesion activity. I'm not even going to say that my fingers are crossed, I am going to say...my lips will be praying.

I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope I hear from the bakery. I really really do. But, I honestly don't know what to expect. I don't even have a gut instinct. Usually I would be very optimistic, but I have not a clue what to think. SO, I wait.

Ohhh yea, the Journal Gazette will be publishing a follow up story on me soon. The man did not give me a direct date, but interviewed me over the phone and told me it would be soon. SO, if you are interested in this follow up interview check the papers this week. If it does show up, please leave me a comment on the day it does, or drop me an E-Mail. I would love to read it.

E-Mail: mobileRILEY@gmail.com

Learned about Forgivness today

Church was great today. In fact, I got to take my dad......wait, let me re-phrase that. My parents were going to drop me off at my church early, and go to theirs. But, my mom was feeling sore and didn't want to go because of all the sitting. SO, my dad decided to go to church with me. It was great, I love Pathways. Today, a man named Mitchell Kruse was the speaker, he gave an excellent sermon about forgiveness. How justice and mercy work together. Without mercy is condemnation, without justice is license. And, the 4 prison walls that keep us going no where when we don't forgive. The four walls are....
1.) Revenge: When we seek revenge when someone does us wrong sometimes keeps us from fully forgiving our enemy.
2.) Resentment: When we resent our enemy so much, it can keep us from forgiving them.
3.) Regret: When we hold the regrets of things we did in the past can keep us from forgiving ourselves.
4.) Resisting Blessing: And when thinking we are not worthy of blessings can keep us from fully completing the forgiveness process.

I loved it, and during the praise and worship part of church, I was floating on a cloud of praise. I really enjoyed it. I want to find someone who can help me get to church until I get my license and a vehicle. I would also really like to find a new small group to join up. To keep me accountable to all the important things.

Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment at the Indiana Center for Multiple Sclerosis in Indianapolis. I have lots of questions for my doc. about some new medications, and I hope it goes well. I really really do.

~M/S Update~
I noticed something in church today. I don't know anything for sure, I never do. BUT, I did start to feel my legs tremble slightly. Not even enough to notice it with your eyes, but I could feel it from within. It didn't worry me, it just made me very aware of it.

~ANITA~
It was very nice to talk with you. I'm glad circumstances allowed that to happen. ;-)

Trouble's new friend

My friend Tony called me up in the late afternoon after I got off work, and told me that he had a new friend. hummmmm, my interest is sparked. Turns out this new friend is really hairy and has 4 legs. Yes that's right, a new pit bull puppy. Very cute too. No name for the lil lady, but he is working on it.

Here are a couple of pictures of when she fell asleep right next to me on the couch. She is actually a pretty well behaved pup. She chews a little bit, but that is only because she is teething. That stage will pass soon. I think this dog is going to grow up to be pretty darn big. She has some HUGE paws for such a little puppy. Trouble (Tony's older pit bull) doesn't know quite how to react to her living in her domain yet. But, if all goes well I think she will take the part of the doggie role model. Hoping for that anyways. I got to get to bed though, I have church tomorrow and this time my dad is going with me. It's good to know I have a ride there anyways.

Friday night is poker night tonight!

Yes that's right. It's poker night and I was ready to win some money. Well, sometimes life isn't what what you would have it be. It was poker night at my friends house. Well, it didn't quite turn out the way I wanted, but I only lost minimal dollars, and it was to friends, so I say money well spent....or money well wasted. However you wanna say it, I had fun and that was that.

At work today I was the crew leader. It was pretty cool because I was in charge and didn't have to worry about getting bothered by people I don't work well with.

I am going to bed now.

it's August right?

Today I mowed some grass. It is very green and lucious grass too. I keep thinking that it is July because it is raining all the time, and the grass is growing like crazy. I think our months got mixed up or something. August feels more like July, and July felt more like August. @ 11:15PM it rained again. I did good at work today.

I am totally exhausted, I have to go to bed PRONTO or else I will pass out right here at the computer.

I did a lot better today.

I did a lot better working today with my "issue." I didn't get upset about the stupid things, and just didn't let things bother me in general.

I am lucky to have good adult role models in my life. One specifically is Bill; co-worker, friend, and positive influence. I was really taken today when he asked my opinion on a serious matter in his life. He was giving me a ride home after work and asked more specifically about something he mentioned earlier in the day. I felt really honered that he wanted my opinion on the subject.

I had my first ~RaNdOm~ check in today. Now, I am making the bunny ears with my fingers when I say "random check in." It is a part of my unsupervised probation, but there is absloutly nothing random about it. In fact, my next ~RaNdOm~ check in is schedueled for November 16th. They are telling me 3 months in advance! Pretty random huh?

wet and icky

I woke up this morning, and it was wet outside. I can't believe how much rain we have gotten in the past 48 hours. I know it sure has made the grass green. But, with wet grass comes mowers that get clogged up, and clumps of saturated grass that just tends to make a mess.

I have an issue at work. There is someone I don't work with too well. It's not even that I don't work with well with him, I just always work with a chip on my shoulder. It is not my personality to act like this either. I can adapt to all different types of personalities when I am working. But this one person....it's like I have a personal vendetta with him. I try to break they way I view him, and in all reality, there is no good reason why I treat him the way I do; which is finding fault in everything he does. I do know that there is a huge personality difference, this person is far more mature than me also. I don't mean age mature either. This person is much more stable and in a lot of aspects, especially spiritually. It's like.....he is slow, I am go. Why do I have such a problem with that? Mark Nolot (Boss) is happy with this worker, I just take it all personally. I am being a baby, but this is what is going on. I am going to keep working on it.

I have my first "CHECK UP" tomorrow. It is part of the rules to my probation. Because of the OWI back in Sept. '06.

I wonder if it is going to keep raining.

Monday night madness

Today was all the bowling you can handle after 9:00P.M. for $6.50 Now, it was intense! Check these shot's out.

I totally shot a strike after this picture was taken. Just goes to show you don't have to have pretty form to throw a good strike. ;-)

josh did pretty good tonight, there was a point during the course of the night that he had like 4 strikes in a row. You can tell who is actually good a bowling when they can bowl with consistancy. None of us could do that. Here is a picture of Chris after he threw a gutter ball. He threw a lot of those during the evening. But, I think he had a really good time.

I didn't work today because of the massive amount of rain we have been getting. It's weird. If we get no rain at all, I don't work because there is no grass to cut. If we get non-stop rain forever, I also don't mow(work) because the ground is too wet to work on.

I also realized today how much I miss my friends in China. How much I miss the environment, the culture, and the general way of life. Does that make me an odd ball? Maybe, I don't care though.

Every night for like the past 2 weeks, I have these crazy vivid dreams. I can only remember what I dream for like 1/2 hour after I wake up. I never take the time to write it down. But it's weird because when I am dreaming, I can't tell I am dreaming untill I wake up.

HAPPY 59th B-Day DAD!

Yes, today is my dad's official B-Day. We celebrated it yesterday though. I would show some pictures of him blowing out his cake....BUT I can't upload them onto my parents computer. I took those pictures with my digital camera, and I have to plug it directly into my lap top in order to have access to them. Why am I not on my own computer? It is not currently working to it's fullest capacity. It happened like this. I wanted to create a b-day card for my dad. Well, I was looking and looking and all the generic sites I found didn't have anything I liked. SO, I found this "free" software that I could download and create a unique card just the way I wanted. HA! Stupid me, ohh, I downloaded the program alright, but for those of you who know about Spyware, well, that was what I really downloaded. My computer is not even functional. Every time I turn it on the screen fills up with so many pop up's that I can't even concentrate. I tried running my Ad-Aware program, and my AVG Anti-virus program, but it was fruitless. My poor compy is not feeling too good, and I am not going to mess with it until my friend comes over and takes a look at it. AHHHHHH!!! I was so frustrated yesterday. I was yelling, and pounding trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with it. My back ground image actually fillled up with a new image. It was an all red screen, and a bio-hazard symbol was right in the middle. It said that spy-ware was on my computer, and that hackers were attempting to gain control of my computer. lol. Then it said I had to download this software to protect my system. It cost lots of money of course. ohhh jeeze. I just shut off my computer. Happy ~"Birty"~ dad. I love you so much, and I am positive God made you my father for a very specific reason. Thanks for being there to show me how a man is suppose to act.

Yesterday in the morning I worked. Did some up keep around the shop, and then cleaned off some of the mowers. When I called for a ride home....No one was available. Instead of doing the rational thing and waiting for someone to pick up their phone, I walked home. It was exactly a 4 mile walk. It was a nice one too. I just couldn't believe how many beer bottles I saw on the walk home. I saw all kinds of things actually. Female razers, carpet, lego's, a Samsung cell phone, pornography, uncountable amounts of trash, and other things. It was crazy. I saw a lot of people interacting with their environment, and it was pretty cool. Check this live action shot.

Ya see, even though I can't plug my phone directly into my computer; because of it's current state, I can still utilize my technology. Ya see, I can take a picture with my phone, and instead of sending that picture to another phone, I can send it directly to my E-Mail. BAM! Now I got pictures from my phone on my parents computer.

The night ended up with some cool information I got from my "half brother" Troy. I found out why I have always been so susceptible to bloody noses. I don't understand it completely, but when it told me it did make sense. I also got to hang out with my buddy Jason Burdick and Adam Eichel. It was good stuff.

Perfection Bakeries

Yes, today was the big interview. Which I showed up for an hour early. BUT, it wasn't my fault. Jeff Foster, the general manager told me on the phone to be there at 9. Well, I guess he told everyone else to be there at 10. It was a group interview, 3 people who were currently working there through an employment agency, and me and one other guy not currently working there.

SO, I had an hour to kill before the interview. I couldn't get in my car because 1. I don't have a car, and 2. I don't have a license. I started walking around down town Fort Wayne. I found a place to sit and saw something crazy!I posted up next to a 1 WAY street. As you can see, there are 2 lanes of traffic flowing in one direction. All of a sudden, I see a white Fort Taurus come racing down the street. There was a crazy lady driving, and a male passenger. I wish I would have had my phone ready when it was speeding past me, because she looked crazy. Right to the left of this picture, there is a stop light. She didn't see a street light I guess, because there isn't one facing traffic that isn't suppose to be there. She went right into the middle of the intersection before coming to a screeching hault! Then took off again driving the way. It was very random and pretty entertaining, just glad no one got hurt. OK, so now to the interview. Everything went alright, and even though I was pretty nervous, I trust that all is well. Here is the reason I was fretting. Upon acceptance, you have to submit a hair analysis drug screen. Now, if I had to take a urine test, there would be no worrying, and all would be well in the world. BUT, hair analysis drug screen's can look back far into your substance history. And although I have been clean for quite some time, I do not know how far back they will be looking. It worries me. I did however, get some killer advice from my dad while he was driving me to the interview. He told me, "Mike, I know your worrying about the interview and test, BUT, you can't control your past. You can only control your future. Keep doing what your doing, and everything will work out. If you are meant to get this job, you will pass the test." I am going to have to be ok with that. Plus, Jeff the general manager who interviewed me told me it would be 1 to 2 weeks before I heard back with their decision.

I got a bloody nose today as you can see. It wasn’t your normal bloody nose either. It has been really humid out, so you can’t say it is because of the dry weather. This is my 2nd bloody nose this week, and it was a pretty ferocious one. I do know that I was pretty stressed out today, but I can’t equate being really stressed out to a bloody nose. Also, I have never heard of M/S causing a bloody nose. I just don’t know. I need to take a deep breath, and just chill.

Then, at the end of the day, I managed to sell my old pick up truck to a group in Fort Wayne that post's signs all over the city called "CASH FOR JUNK CAR'S"

Yes, that's right, no more Mr. Truck. She is over and done with. She served me good, although even for a short while. Got my monies worty out of her. Big friggin 302 Mustang engine, and squealing tires made her fun to drive. Wonder what the next car will be.....

Tomorrow is the interview.

I dunno, I have mixed emotions. I'm not sure what to expect, I do know that if I could get this job, it would be really good for me finicially. There is no guarantee though. I don't know.

I did get to do something really really amazingly awesome after work though. My friend, and neighbor Heather Huffman was backing out of her drive way right as I was walking up mine. She yelled my name and I went over and chatted with her for a bit before she had to hurry off to work. BUT, she told me that her lil one Caiden was accross the street at her mom & dad's house. I got to go and play for a bit. :-) Check this cutie out!

5 months old, and as CUTE AS EVER! This is the first time I have gotten a chance to see the lil guy, but I am so glad I got to. Such a cutie, and well....just look at him!

You have to watch this video. This little girl is so adorable. I hope I have a little child like this some day.

Bye Wednesday, see ya in a bit Thursday.

I was informed about a new M/S care therapy. It's called Tovaxin. Here, check it out, cuz I don't understand it 100%.

LINK 1

LINK 2

LINK 3

From what I can understand it works kind of like a vaccine. I think it sounds pretty exciting, but who knows the long term effects.

Today was good, I did a lot of push mowing. :-) It is getting closer and closer to Friday. I am getting excited for my interview at the Bakery. WHOO HOOO! I'm tired, bout time for bed.

WHOOP WHOOP!!!

Today I had many great experiences.

1.) at one of the properties way out in the country, I was mowing this ladies lawn(big yard) and the mower I was using sucked....She came up to me and asked if I wanted to use her Brand NEW X-Mark mower. It had a 60" deck, and was amazing. That made my morning.

2.) I called the bakery, and, I HAVE AN INTERVIEW THIS FRIDAY!!!

3.) After work my friend Chad and his g/f and also my friend Joy asked me if I wanted to go to a movie with some friends. Well, I got to talk a bit with an old associate from high school. I didn't call her a friend, but we weren't really "not friends" So, I suppose associate would be fitting. She was looking as cute as ever.

Great news, great day, looking forward to tomorrow.

Alright, so my sister Merideth just left. She had to have her friend Courtney drive her over because she locked her keys into her car, and my dad had a spare. While Mer was over she got to tell me some amazingly good news. It's like this. Me & Mer are both adopted. I was lucky enough to be able to get in contact with my Birth mom, aunts, uncles, grandparents, step brothers, and of course Brandy my full blooded sister. Merideth on the other hand was in a little bit rougher of a situation. Both her mother and father died at young ages. She has wanted to find them, or at least some of her past blood. Well, last weekend she went to Columbus Ohio. That is where her Uncle, Grandfather, and Grandmother are buried. She actually got so lucky as to find a tomb stone with her Uncle and Grandfathers picture on it. Now, take a look at this. This is a picture she brought over. Ya see, her and her g/f Chip, A.K.A. Andrea are the ones who traveled to Ohio in search of all this. Mer said Chip is pretty good at genealogy type stuff, and well. I would say so!

If I had a good Photo editing program I would have zoomed in and enlarged the picture of her Uncle so you could get a really good comparison. But, this will do. The upper left picture is of Mer's Uncle. Her dad's brother. Look at the eyes, and the nose. For someone who is adopted, to see evidence like this, after a whole life time of not knowing. Well, it brings closure that most people wouldn't ever be able to understand. On the bottom of the tomb stone, it said "Born in Yugoslavia." My mom and dad drove to New Jersey to pick up my sister. That is where her Birth parents are from. But, her father was born in Yugoslavia. You can definitely see it in Mer. This is just a huge thing. I am so happy for her, and it is an answer to prayers. It really is. God is soo good. Congratulations Merideth! Love you!

Today was good I suppose. Umm, I was reminded early on this morning that some people aren't on the same level as me. That I need to distance myself from some people, even if it means sitting and waiting by myself for 35 minutes. That is just the way life is. As long as everyone can respect each others opinions, things should be fine. I worked hard, and my foreman told me that I was really on the ball, and did a good job. That is always good to hear.

Tomorrow I call Perfection Bakery. The guy told my dad to have me call him. So, we will see what comes of this. Hopefully it works out, and I get the job.....If not, at least I have Vision Scapes. Either way I am covered and good to go.

~Health Update~

My health has not changed since last Monday. I feel the same, which in my opinion is a very very good thing. I am in good spirits, and feel confident about my health. Although, that may be kind of a risky way to feel. Things can change very quickly health wise.

I had soo much FUN!

I am so lucky to have friends who have such fun things to do. LOVE IT! My friend Brad has a lake cottage up like 45 minutes north of Fort Wayne. BUT, first we went to another lake. Hamilton Lake, it was so much fun. Thats where we stayed Saturday night, we played in a corn hole tournament. There was 34 people in the game, and probably 50 people there, it is a big deal up at the lake. If you have never heard of corn hole, and are interested in the rules and what not. Click the corn hole link. ~CORN HOLE~

This morning, I woke up, had some amazing breakfast, went tubing, and enjoyed the day. Later on we went to Brad's lake, it was awesome too!

OK, the lady in the blue Capri's looked very familiar. I could not think of her name for the life of me though. All day long it bothered me, and I didn't want to be embarrassed to go and ask her just in case she was someone I should have known. SO, I asked around and found out she use to work at my High School. BAM, problem solved. It was such a beautiful day. The clouds were so pretty, and it was just sooo much fun.Here is some live action. You randomly picked your partner, so there wasn't any unfair advantages for anyone. Out of 35 people, I picked Brad as my partner. WHAT LUCK! lol. Then the coolest part. THE FREE T-SHIRT! The Got Hole was on the front.This was on the back. Now I have something to wear to remember my memories for a long time. So much fun. I tell you what, going to the lake is a big motivator for me to get an education and a good job. I want to be able to afford a lake cottage, and a boat. That would suit me just fine. And there were some mondo expensive houses on this lake.

Friday

Worked hard today. It was quite hot, I probably sweat a gallon. Feels good to be out in the sun again, and what not. After work I went and saw the movie, Knocked Up. It was really good, and really funny. I have to admit, I got a little teary eyed. I'm such a little girl sometimes. Tomorrow I am going to go to the lake for the weekend with my buddy Brad. It will be really fun, and I LOVE THE L AKE!

“It's amazing what ordinary people can do if they set out without preconceived notions.” -Charles F. Kettering

Today was great, I woke up, checked the Doppler radar on the internet, and saw a huge storm coming towards Fort Wayne. This is awesome, because I absolutely love storms. I got to work and me and the guys hung around for a while when it was storming out. It was raining pretty hard for ohhh I would say 30 minutes, then it passed over and got extremely humid and HOT!

It was pouring!! Lightening, thunder, wind! I LOVE IT!

Got along good today. I am sweating more than ever, but I am actually thinking it may not be a bad thing. Like, my body heats up so easily, maybe this is it's last ditch effort to cool things down inside. I dunno, tremors are still non present, and that is really good.

Good news came today also. Today was my dad's last day at the bakery. Well, this guy Jeff told him to have me call him on Tuesday. SO, I am gonna give Jeff a call and see what he "may" have for me. I am not getting my hopes up, but I am definately going to follow through with it. ;-)

That's better....

I get home from work. I am dripping with sweat, sore, and the skin is a little crispy. I say, "JOB WELL DONE!" I forgot how much I missed this. In no way, shape, or form is my job a luxurious one. In fact it is quite the opposite, but I really do enjoy it. Here is a picture of me putting the finishing touch on a clients yard. ;-) Yep, it sure is good to get back to work. Now, I wonder if things will stay as they are. I am speaking about my health status. If it does, that would be totally awesome. There is a good chance though, that my body will not like all the new physical labor. I did my part though, what ever is gonna happen will happen. I will just continue to pray for the best outcome. If that is HIS will, then great. If not, I will figure it out as I go.

Something kind of scary did happen today. Almost made me jump out of my socks. We mow a retirement home. The middle of the building has an open area with mulch beds and grass, I forget what is the name for it.........running a blank. Anyways, STEVE the preacher was push mowing, and I was weed whipping. I looked out of the corner of my eye and see this employee running full steam towards me. I'm thinking, "jeez Mikey, you screwed up on the first day back?" Come to find out, she was running at me because the truck and trailer were parked right out in front. And one of the residents was having health issues, she needed me to move the truck A.S.A.P.! I did, and it wasn't a big deal. BUT, I was worried for a second. I give today 2 thumbs up because I got my job back, I worked hard, and feel good.

Also, I gave Jay Rozelle a call today. I just wanted to touch base with him, let him know I got my job back at Vision Scapes. He was glad to hear that, and seemed glad for the update. I feel like I am really going out of my comfort zone by attempting to make the new relationship possibility work. Most of my friends are the direct opposite. BUT, I am getting sick of being around people who influence me in negative ways. It is such a relief to talk to someone who carries the same values as me, and acts on them. It's good. He said he will give me a call next week sometime, and maybe we can hang out or something to that effect.

Also, I have actually been doing a lot for people and the Stem Cell Cause for someone "not doing anything." I hope I will be able to keep my level of commitment to the people who have reached out to me, either for guidence, or what not.

well, I got it.

Today I get a phone call at like 8AM. I didn't even pick it up, I just went back to sleep right away. I didn't get up till like 11. Once I got to getting around and checking voice mail, I found it was a call from Mark Nolot(owner of Vision Scapes). I called him back and he asked me if I had found a job since I left Vision Scapes. I told him that I hadn't. So, he told me that worked had picked up because of the rain we had been getting, and that if I wanted to come back to work, he had plenty of work for me to do. So, tomorrow morning at 7AM. I report to Vision Scapes. This whole time I didn't even need to do anything. LOL. thats how it goes. The grass could stop growin again. ;-)

It's Monday, time to update ya'll.

It is very hard to judge where you are at health wise with Multiple Sclerosis. One way people think that M/S can be moderated is by having an MRI done, and looking at the lesion activity. CLICK ME and read the communication between Denise_F & ally. You will see that sometimes lesions in the brain won’t really mean anything until further evidence is found supporting the initial belief; which could be really wrong or really right. As you can imagine, this gets really frustrating. Especially when the Doc. wants to put you on a medication that has less than desirable side effects.

In order to explain why MRI’s aren’t the most productive way to judge the current condition/status of M/S. I am going to attempt to explain how Lesions in the spinal cord or brain show up, “AS I UNDERSTAND IT.”

1.) Things happen in an order
Although breakthru's in science are happening all the time, bringing us closer to finding what causes M/S, to date the exact factor is unknown. It could have something to do with genetic's, or it could be due to environmental factors. In either way, the good function of the body to protect itself, becomes corrupted. The symptoms of M/S come into view when the destruction of the myelin starts to occur.

2.) Immune system acting out of wack, T cells becoming corrupt

A dysregulation of the immune system results in the body attacking its own nerve tissue. Certain defence cells, called T cells, are activated and trigger these attacks. Normally these T cells are involved in defending the body against things like viruses and bacteria.

3.) T cells attack brain cells

Once the T cells are activated, they can penetrate the brain with its countless nerve cells. In the brain the T cells are stimulated to attack the nerve cells. The attacks cause damage to the myelin layer, the part that acts like insulation for the nerves.

4.)Now the Macrophanges take over

The T cells in the brain are to blame for the damage to the myelin sheath, since they turned on another group of defence cells called macrophanges. The macrophanges eat up the myelin sheaths surrounding the nerves. Now there are holes in the myelin that lead to a slower transmission of impulses along the nerve fibre pathways. The slower electric signal being sent throug the nerves is what generates the typical symptoms common in MS.

Once the macrophanges have had a chance to nibble on the myelin for a bit, you can see below how much of a hit the nerves can take.

As I understand, once all this happens and you have damage to the myelin, you STILL may not even see any new lesions show up in the brain or spinal cord. The reason is this. The lesions start to show up after the myelin has been damaged, then SCARRED OVER. Once the body attempts to create what you can think of as a "scab" over the damaged myelin, that is when it may show up on an MRI. From the first day Multiple Sclerosis shows up in your body, to the very first appearence of a lesion could take weeks, months, years, or a lifetime. I could have damage that occured when I was 15 that won't show up till i'm 30 years old!

In good ole America, the vast majority of the doctors believe that once the myelin in the brain is damaged, it can not be reversed or fixed. The Chinese see it differently, they believe that just like any other system of the body that the Stem Cells have created, they can regrow this myelin, especially when certain growth factors are in play.

~~CURRENT SITUATION~~

For about 4 month's before I left for China I was experiencing tremors in my fingers, arms, and legs. So much so that it would dissrupt daily life. Not to mention worry the crap out of me. I have been back from China for a little over a month. I have NO tremors. Personally, I thank the stem cell therapy. But, it could be due to a number of reasons. I haven't been physically active, and when I am intensly physically active, it always spurs M/S activity. Also, I have stayed on my Avonex, which I have had multiple exacerbations when I first started it. And lastly, we haven't hit the cold months. The cold months are the hardest for my body to cope with it seems. That's it, I think I have covered everything health. lol.

PS I applied for this "land management" company today called LML Estate. Seemed like a decent size company. Not 100% sure what they do exactly, but I would assume they take care of land???

soo tired, tired of waiting, tired of waiting for yooouuuu (you meaning a job)

In deed, I am sick of waiting for a job to come to me. So, I have made this decision. Monday-Friday I will find a new place to fill out an application at. New day, new job application. Tomorrow I have my new place to fill out an application at. I don't want to give the name away cuz I can't take the possibility of someone else finding it before I do. ;-)

So, today I talked my mom into coming to my church. I couldn't get a ride from one of the usual rides, and I didn't want to go to my moms church, so she agreed to come to MY CHURCH. It was really fun, and we both enjoyed the sermon, and communion. Today we ended the 10 week sermon about the Dead Sea Rules. It was really good, I wish I could have been there for all 10 weeks, but now I am hooked, and have a drive to make it to church no matter what the outside reason. Church has to take top priority. It isn't something you do on Sunday, it is a life style choice, and I have a drive to make that true for me.

Today was sweeet.

Today I met with Jay Rozelle. This is a picture of Jay, I found off the internet. We met up at Starbucks around 1, and it was pretty cool. We talked about all kinds of things, and I enjoyed it. Jay is a really good guy, devoted husband, father, and christian. He seemed interested in hanging out. We also talked about a really awesome organization called Young Life, which is dedicated to reaching out to high school aged kids all around the world. It was pretty cool to meet up with Jay. I remember him from when I was pretty young. Our mom's have been friends forever, and it was just kind of a cool situation. I am excited to see what will come of it. I know that it would be really awesome if I could surround myself with people like Jay and his friends. That is sooo what I need to grow up, become a man, and a devoted Christ follower.

The rest of the day I spent at home. The father ordered some pizza, and then I challenged my mind by watching the History Channel. ;-)

Learning to shrug is the beginning of wisdom.

When you are with friends and they are saying or doing things that you dissagree with you have a choice to make. Make your opinions known, or lead by example. Although the 2nd option is not always easy, and you never get to see immideate gratification, I believe it is best.

Tomorrow I am going to turn in 2 applications, one for East Allen County Schools, and the other for Fort Wayne Community Schools. I am applying for a custodial position, it's not a glamerous position, but I think I will be able to use some of the skills I have aquired over the years. Also, working around kids would be good for me. We will see if anything comes of it. I promised myself a couple of weeks ago that I would officially start looking for employment on the 3rd, after giving the bakery time to make a decision. I would say the decision was made.....I think anyways. I would really appriciate any prayers for finding a job quick and easy. I do hate this part ever so much. :-/

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Today, if I could have had background music through out my day today, it would have been up beat and kind of adventurous. I didn't even do anything exciting, I just felt like it though. It was soooo HOT today too. I painted the outside of the porch for my dad. Ya see, the squirrels in our back yard are half wood peckers. They tear up the side of the porch and my dad had to replace a bunch of wood siding. He hasn't had time to paint it, so I took care of it for him.

I painted the part inbetween the top screen, and the bottom screen. You can see in the lower left corner where I accidently dribbled a bit of paint....oops. I wrote Preston this morning. I hope he gets something out of my words. I put a lot of thought into it, and I want what is best for him, but he needs to decide it on his own. Through a friend of the family, I might be helping out with a High School out reach program soon. I am kind of excited to see where this will go. Ohhh, and I went to the BMV today and got everything figuered out. It is going to cost about....A LOT for me to get car insurance, and my license will be suspended for about 4 months. :-(

Could be worse though. A lot worse.