wallet transition ~Happy Halloween~

I am waking up in the morning now. I need to get back into a routine, and waking up at the same time every day no matter what you have going on, is a good way to start. I made a really good breakfast; orange juice, eggs (sunny side up), and toast. I was pumped full of protein and I went and worked out. I kept getting really light headed while I was working out, strange. It’s not because my body isn’t use to it either, I have been working out long enough again now that it shouldn’t be anything new to my body. It’s something to tell the doctor tomorrow anyway. When I was taking a break from in-between reps, I swapped out the contents of my wallet to my new wallet. The bottom wallet was the one I had to say goodbye to. :-( I decided to make the transition because it is not professional looking and just not good for an office setting. The thing that sucks is that I do not have my wallet and all the important stuff attached to me anymore. That is seriously what I loved about that wallet the most. I give it a month till I lose this new one and EVERYTHING IN IT! HA! but, maybe not.

Young Life was crazy tonight. The phrase/saying a picture is worth a thousand words......well I don't know if I could think of a thousand words for these pictures, but I can think of a few. Me & my buddy Laura Wight, thanks for introducing yourself miss!

I'm a rastafarian, Duh.

The pumpkin that is puking won the contest.

After Young Life was over, I went to see The Darjeeling Limited, it was almost "ify" in the very beginning, and then meshed into a really great film. The even better part of the movie was the chica that sat to my left. (starting from the left)Zach Struckholz, Lauren, Evan and Megan Perigo. Hopefully, in the near future I will be seeing one of these siblings more often than the others. ;-)

~~Health update~~

Tomorrow I have a doctor appointment in Indy to discuss the "enhancing lesions" in my brain. Umm, I hope that........I have no idea.....................but that is what is going on. My goal is to leave the doc. office with no more new medications. God is good.

There's my call. :-)

I hardly ever post early in the morning, but I will let today serve as an appropriate exception. Around 7:30A.M. I was laying in bed, no joke, not sleeping, just thinking if I was going to get that job at North American Van Lines when my phone started to ring. BAM! Cathy:"Hello Mikey?" Me: "good morning Cathy, how are you?" Cathy: "I'm doing great, do you have a second to talk?" Me: "I sure do." Cathy: "Well, after careful consideration evaluating, we have decided to offer you the position, will you accept?" Me: "I sure do, thank you so much, I am excited to start!"

And just like that I got a job. God is good. I have to give every bit of glory rising out of this situation to him, I feel like I did nothing but open my mouth; something that comes natural to me. Cathy said she will be giving all my information, resume and application to their HR person, and after the back ground check is finished, I will start my 2 weeks of training. I am stoked!

WHERE WAS MY PHONE CALL!?!?!?

I did not get a phone call from North American Van Lines today like I was promised I would. So, around 3:45-4:00 I called Cathy (lady who was suppose to call me) and she had gone home by the time I called her. Grrrrrr, ~hopefully~ she was swamped and did not have the time to make a simple 45 second phone call telling me that they wanted to hire me. ;-) Or, maybe I’m not suppose to have this job. I DUNNO, I sure do feel confident about it though if that is the case. Whatever happens, happens and I am okay with that.

I picked up a daily devotional today that I purchased a while ago. It is called How Now Shall We Live? By, Charles Colson. It is a great devotional and very challenging. I love being in the word, and I am a retard for not being more disciplined in it already.

Today, I got a lovely phone call from some friends I met when I was getting treatment in China. Dr. Eric Biggs, and Dr. Frank Stark. Two psychologists from California who are visiting family in Decatur. It was so good to see them again, and tell stories and get updates on everyone’s lives. Eric grew up in Decatur, and Frank is a good friend that was his care taker while in China. Eric had an accident a while back when he was visiting Israel; he fell off a balcony of sorts and was paralyzed. That is why he was having treatment done in China. They were in the room right next to mine and we had a lot of fun together in China!

Eric is to the left, and Frank is to the right.

My sister and her fiancé John took me. It worked out really well because John grew up in L.A. so he is a Cali native. Eric and Frank both really enjoyed talking with him. It was so good to see them again, and this Friday they are coming over for dinner and my mom is going to cook up an amazing meal. I CAN’T WAIT!

When I was working out today, I had the radio on a rock station. There was a song playing by Nine Inch Nails called Head Like a Hole. The chorus in it says this>>>"bow down before the one you serve. you're going to get what you deserve." I was just thinking to myself, "man, i'm sure glad we (Christians) don't get what we deserve, we would all be burning in hell."

The ground is leveling.

I am thankful for Sunday mornings. I had a rough evening, but I am back to where I need to be now, and for that I am thankful. One thing I really put importance on is understand my own emotions. It is so easy to be on this emotional roller coaster, and I guess it can be tricky. As long as I am aware of what brings me to the emotional peaks and valleys, then I can finish on a straight away. That’s why it is so important to fill my life with as many Christian influences as I possibly can. I think I am going to start reading my daily devotional again. When I am filled with the spirit, I am happy. It doesn’t matter what is going around me. I will learn to have that spirit in me all the time. I am pretty challenged by the sermons at Pathway. Today my challenge was to move into action. Just like the friends of the paralytic man. They were willing to fall through the roof of a home, be hated, be mocked all to help a friend. That is risky faith. I want that.

Get out there:
1. Faith moves you to action.
2. You can’t make a ripple unless you're willing to throw in your life. ~Be willing to do what it takes~ no matter what you think, or others around you.
Risky faith:
1.their faith was persistent. Matt 11:12
2.their faith was inventive/creative. Through the roof! We settle in the church.
3. Their faith was passionate and didn’t accept "no." psalms 139:7-10

These are only some of my notes from the sermon, but they touched my heart this morning. In Psalms 139:7-10 I think God had that written just for me. Pretty much all of Psalms 139 was screaming at me. Reminding me that no matter what is going on, God knows, understands, cares, and sympathizes, has a plan regardless of my frustrations, and most importantly; is in control when I think he is not. I can take a deep breath and let out a big sigh of relief with that in mind.

I got a phone call from Pathway this morning when Tyler and I were on our way to church this morning. It was John (head custodial person) telling me that they had to fill the position, they couldn't wait any longer. Hummmmm, well there goes my back up. But, I am NOT going to bet all my apples on the North American Van Lines position either. If I get it, then it was meant to be. If I don’t, I trust that something else will come along. I really do too. It would be nice though, and I am going to keep praying that it works out. I am excited for tomorrow.

In my life, God is The Giving Tree. This fameous story can represent many things to many people, but to me, this is the story of how we can always fall on God. No matter how selfish, insecure, confused, hurt, angry or unsatisfied we are. He always wants us back.
In the evening I got together with all the Young Life leaders for our every other week gathering. Just to see how everyone is doing, and to enjoy each others fellowship. It’s nice to be able to do that.

Afterwards, it was off to collateral. We watched Evan Almighty, but through the movie I had a chance to talk with a really lovely lady. Her name is Lauren, and it was nice to talk to her. Drop dead gorgeous! And she seems really grounded. I would love it if it is in my future to get to know her a little bit better.

After that, Ryan and Zach took me home; only after we made one important stop. Ryan took be by Chelsy’s house. I dropped off a letter explaining how sorry I was and why I acted the way I acted when I got back from China. I rang the door bell, gave the letter to Kenny (her father) and asked if he would please give it to Chelsy. It took a lot of guts for me to do that, but I am really glad I did. Tomorrow I find out if I get the position at North American Van Lines. I can’t help but be excited. I feel really confident, but does that even matter? I don’t know, and I don’t want to get my hopes up. Then again, there is nothing wrong with wanting something. It is just key to letting it go if you don’t get it. Hummm, that’s a life lesson in many aspects.

up to date, Dave, Silence and hurt.

First off, I have to say that I did call North American Van Lines first thing yesterday. Cathy told me that she still needed to interview one more person and that she couldn't tell me anything more than, "you're still in the running." She told me that on Monday, I will get a phone call from her and know for sure! So, Monday I will know good or bad if I get the job or not. I still feel confident after hearing the way she talked to me on the phone. But, I just don't know for sure. I just don't know!

Yesterday, my dad decided to rake the whole back yard. It is a good size yard too. I would have helped him, but we only have one rake. SERIOUSLY!Done raking? Then he burnt it, I do love the smell of leaves burning.

It's Saturday, and I got to hear Dave speak again. Ohh, how I really enjoy hearing him speak. I always feel the spirit enter the room when I have a chance to praise with Dave. It doesn't matter, I could just be listening or singing with him. Dave does such an awesome job of challenging me and allowing me to see things that I maybe wouldn't even think to look at on my own. I really get a lot out of him. So glad he popped back into my life.

After church with Dave, me Amanda and Tyler went to the Embassy (old school theatre) down town and watched a magic show and Silent movie. The magic show was put on by Dick Stoner, a local funny man/magician. It was a lot of laughs.

The silent movie was the 1926 film, The Black Pirate. I thought it was great, they organ played through all 82 minutes of it, and it was just like a flash from the past. Tyler and Amanda, not so much but that's ok. We went out to eat, and back to Tylers house. It was then I realized that my mind can be a dangerous thing. All day, and evening I was happy, maybe even hyper. It wasn't until something hit me. BAM like a brick wall my emotional state of mind changed. I can't say what it was, just that it made me really depressed. So much so that I just had to leave. It's horrible and I hate it when that happens, I am better than that. I just really need to get my mind of it and go to sleep.

distraction is KEY.

Thursdays are devotional days. The one thing that we tend to do alot is distract each other. There are so many ways to distract each other, and we find them all. I find out tomorrow about a possible job at North American Van Lines. I am so totally stoked, and feel like it is the right thing. So, tomorrow at 9:30a.m. I am going to give Cathy a call and find out, I am really hoping she tells me right then and there. Now, I wanted to make sure that I would get proper sleep tonight, so I took my Lunesta. And it is kicking in a little faster than I expected it to. WIth lunesta you start to get droopy eyes, and then you get this taste in your mouth. It is like a matallic taste that just won't go away. You know sleepy time is coming soon. So now would be a bad time to go for a might night drive, but I don't have a car or a license so that isn't even a possibility................unless.................................................. NO, not again. I get me license back in 30 DAYS! Dang I am so ready for that. Anita, I hope you know that I really pray continually that God is surrounding you in this situation. If you just give everything over to him, it'll prove to be the best. Thats really how it works. Just trust him. I had a really good devotional today. What I got out of it was I need to stay away from my "OLD FRIENDS" because the only thing that will happen is I will go right back to the way life was before. not gonna happen. sooo tired.

I feel really confident that I am suppose to be at Young Life now.

Today we had Verizon come out and hook up our new FIOS T.V. and internet. The picture is super clear and the internet is as speedy as can be. It’s good stuff, even though I wasn’t complaining before. ~~CLICK ME~~ to see the download/upload speeds of my new internet!!

To those of you who read my BLOG and are my “prayer warriors” please keep my friend Anita in your thoughts and prayers. Anita has some overwhelming things in her life right now; unfortunately she doesn’t have the luxury to become overwhelmed. She has children to take care of, and a life to live. Her health is deteriorating and she is struggling with emotional battles daily. Pray that she is given the strength and wisdom to handle everything that comes her way.Young Life was a blast tonight. Last week, I was kind of wondering how I was going to fit into this place. Wondering if I was really suppose to be there. Well, the struggle I felt last week was blown out of the water when I had a chance to talk with someone I could really relate with. I felt confident being there, and happy I could help in any way. Ohh, also, I got my hair cut. Ahhhh, so much better. I don't feel like such a straggly wildabest anymore.

Finally, my ROCKIN VIDEO IS AVAILABLE FOR ALL TO SEE!
CLICK THIS LINK TO SEE!!!

The results are in

Today was up and down. I did get a chance to make some important phone calls though. These calls were to help a friend in Texas prepare himself for a successful fundraising campaign. I like to send positive reinforcement his way out of the blue, when I feel he may need a little. When I spoke with him on the phone today he sounded motivated and in good spirits. He knows he has a big task in front of him, but is willing to combat what seems very difficult with a solid frame of mind.The sky lit up this evening like a whirl wind of pink, yellow, orange and blue frosting all mixed together on top of a beautifully decorated birth day cake. It was almost magical. I LOVE this time of year. I am so grateful that I live in a place that gets to enjoy such natural beauty.
Getting an MRI can be so deceiving. You can feel perfectly fine, life can be going as normal as can be and BAM! The results come in. Now, when I have an MRI done just out of routine, like the one I had yesterday. It is safe to assume that there is nothing to worry about unless you hear otherwise. With that in mind, I wasn’t “planning” on hearing any results until November 12th when my next doctor’s appointment is scheduled. Well, sometimes things just don’t get to go as you would wish they would. The Indiana Center For M/S left a message on the house phone. They informed me that when they compared the MRI that was taken yesterday to the MRI that was taken a year ago, they found “enhancing lesions.” They also told me that the appointment needed to be rescheduled for as soon as possible. This is slightly alarming to me because everything seemed to be going so well. I find myself asking, “how enhanced are they?”

That is the bad news; the good news is I have made a mini break through within my own thinking. I was talking through instant messenger with my friend Scott when I started thinking about my current deposition. I mentioned this to him, and in fact the words in italics were copy and pasted from our conversation. so, inside I am thinking...............DAMNIT, CAN'T I GET A BREAK!!! I GO TO CHINA, DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER…. I then catch myself. None of it should be in my power to begin with. If I am so willing to give all other aspects of my life to Christ, why is it so difficult for me to hand over my health? Well, if I am to answerer that question honestly, it’s probably because it scares the crap out of me. I desire a normal life; wife, children, working legs, job, house, grandchildren. If I just trust that God’s will is the perfect situation, then I actually have to believe it. I ask myself again, “What if it’s not in God’s will for me to be perfectly healthy, what if I end up in a wheelchair?” I have to be ok with whatever it is that God has planned for me. I really do. I believe that in order for me to have a healthy, mature, satisfying relationship with my eternal father, then I have to be ok with all the nonsense that COULD come my way.

In the later part of the evening, I went and saw a movie with Amanda. We went and saw a movie that isn’t playing with the mainstream movies. It’s called, “Death at a Funeral.” We saw it at the Cinema Center on the campus of the Indiana Institute of Technology. They actually have a really nice theatre. It was a good movie to see because it was funny, and took my mind off the rubbish. After the movie, we both went home. It really was a hilarious movie. Click the link to watch the trailer. Death at a Funeral Click the tie, once you click the link.

That was my day.

To Indy I say!

I had a good trip to Indianapolis to have an MRI of my brain. The technician assured me that the brain was in deed, fully in tact. Then, we (mother & I) had the opportunity to meet up with my 2nd cousin Dan Riley. Now, when I was young I am told that I got a chance to meet him, but to my memory, he is a new face, although not an unfamiliar one. We met up at a dainty Italian restaurant chain called Bravo. I had some good fish and we had a chance to chat and enjoy each other. Right when I saw him, I immediately thought of my Uncle Ray. The face just looked very comparable to me.I look like I have GIANT bear hands in this picture. I can assure anyone who reads this though, they are averagely normal size. ;-)

On the trip home I got a phone call from Pathway. It was John (lead custodian) and he wanted to inform me that they came to a decision and wanted to offer me the 26 hr/week position to me. I told him that I would have to wait until Friday came in order for me to make a decision. So, now I have a back up plan just in case North American Van Lines makes the mistake to not hire me. It’s always good to have options. It would just be so much better for me if NAVL worked out because their hours work around my Young Life obligations and Pathway does not. I don’t know if I am willing to give up Young Life for a job. I do “need” a job, but I know that I am supposed to be volunteering with Young Life. So, we will just see how God decides to handle this. It keeps me on the edge of my seat anyway.

I made some really important phone calls, and talked with a television station interested in my story while giving Preston Walker (guy in Texas I have been in contact with cuz he is starting to fundraise for treatment) publicity. Call went good, and the lady was really nice.

Later on I ended up getting really frustrated. I mean really frustrated, about the stupidest thing. I wanted to punch a hole in the wall and cry at the same time. I ended up working out until I ended up cooling down a bit. While I was bench pressing I was praying out loud in between breaths. Just furious and needed someone I could talk with. I felt like I didn't have anyone, which is non-sense, and I wanted to feel better. I need to find more Christian friends that I can relate with and go through similar struggles as I do. That is going to be my prayer, that God brings someone into my life that can act like an accontability partner (Male, thanks Dan) and friend.

hey sunday, where have you been all my week?

I really love it when Pathway finds ways to connect the congregation. It was most excellently executed today. Even in simple acts, like asking everyone to hold the hand of the people next to them during prayer. Or, before a time of prayer, asking anyone who needs God’s blessing in their life; be it because of a struggle, fear, tough spot, etc to just sit down, and then asking the people around them who are standing to put their hands on that person as a sign of comfort and love. We want to have a unified body of Christ followers and what a great way to outwardly show love and compassion for your fellow man.

After Church I was talking with my friend Bruce. He wanted to get some pictures of his car (grand prix GTP) which is in really good condition and looks great. The pictures are for a calendar that he wants to try to get his car to be in. We went to Shoff park and got the fall tree’s in the back ground and Brucy got some really good shot’s.

The lesson today was a punch in the face to LISTEN TO THE MESSAGE, NOT THE WORDS! I almost had to laugh to myself while hearing the pastor speak today. Ya see, on Wednesday at YougLife it was the same message. Mark 5:21, the story of the lady who had been bleeding (female bleeding) for 12 years. On Wednesday I was just stuck on the fact that, “these kid’s are going to be distracted by what the story is about” when in reality, I was the one that was being distracted. So, today at church it was the same message, and this time I got it. Here were some of the important notes I jotted down during the sermon.

*Jesus made himself very touchable
-we must remain open to those who long for Christ.
*Jesus touched the untouchables
-we must allow people to approach us with ease, no matter what they look like, act like, or how we may view them
*Jesus touch below the surface of the need
-people long for all types of healing
-we should touch people with compassion, and make them valued
*EVERYONE deserves the touch of Christ
-no sin is too great
-no person is too unclean
*I must get close enough to touch people.

I went to Collateral with Kayla Steury tonight. It was really great to hang out with Kayla, I haven’t been around her for quite some time. Tonight, Chelsy was there. I am sick of this negativity between us. I am really past it, and ready to move on. So, when she walked past the table I was sitting at, I said hello to her, and just by the way she said “hi” back I knew it was going to be difficult. At the end, when I was in the parking lot near her, I said to her that I would like to talk with her in the near future. She said back to me, “I think the last time we talked, you said everything you needed to say when you told me that you hated me.” I said back to her that was one of the things I wanted to clear up. She got frustrated, as did I, and I got in the car with Kayla. When I got back from China I was really angry with her, and said some really harsh things, I think the best way for me to express myself would be to write her a letter and just send it to her house. It is so hard for me to suck up my pride and admit I am wrong. It would be so much easier for me to make her feel horrible and make myself look good, but I don’t want that. I really don’t, I want things to be ok between us again. I have such a big pride, and it get’s in the way all too often.

~Tomorrow I am going to Indy for an MRI~

Friday night, is lame movie night.

I had my interview at North American Van Lines. The feeling I left when I exited the building was.....positive energy and confidence. The lady that interviewed me was super nice, and impressed with how I handled myself. She told me to call her on Friday, and I look forward to seeing what she has to say.

If ever were a time to choose and watch a horrible movie, tonight was the night. Me and Amanda decided we wanted to watch a movie............we shouldn't ever be left to this decision, we chose 30 days of night, or something to that effect. It was a vampire flick, and it sucked.

I should be able to sleep tonight, pretty good actually.

Interview tomorrow

I love storms, even if they are off in the distance. I have found that when you have eyes to look, you can't help but see God in everything that happens around you. Now, with storms this is especially true. The lightening, the thunder, wind blowing every where, and just the awww of it all. It's powerful stuff...if you wanna see it.

Today, around 1ish I got a phone call from North American Van Lines! Yep, the position I applied for like a month ago is still available. After I got to talking with the lady a little bit I guess when I called to see about what was happening with the position a while back, I called the wrong place. I dunno I guess they have 2 locations in Fort Wayne, I do know that I have an interview tomorrow at 10:30 and I am stoked!

10 days ago I started using this program called Google Analytics. It is a program that you can use to view traffic, page visits, where people are viewing from, and other things. It's a really useful program if you are curious about your site. In the 10 day's that I have been using it, there has been 524 visits. People from all around the world read my blog, from 10 different countries actually. United States, Australia, Canada, United Kingdom, South Korea, Romania, Denmark, Japan, Oman, and Singapore. How cool is that? I think that is SO cool. When I first started this BLOG, I was content with just my sister Merideth reading it. But, so many more do, and I dunno, that is just pretty cool. It's crazy though, it can get way more in depth than countries. I can go as specific as Cities. I know that my cousins in Anchorage read, I know my friend Scott in Sydney reads; "Hey Scott!" I know my friends in Seoul Korea read, "Hey Peter & Jacob!" It's just really a neat thing to be able to look how my simple words and ramblings have come to the attention of people I would have never thought possible. It's enough to make a guy smile.

It's a changing.

October is such a beautiful month. It is full of oranges blended with browns and yellows. I just love it. And even though, lately the temperature has been higher than I like it, it is still super nice.

Today was an average day. I called the guy who is in charge of hiring for the janitorial position at Pathway, and it sounds like I will know, SOON. He told me by the end of this week, so I am assuming I will have to hear something by Sunday. Hopefully sooner, and hopefully I am suppose to get this job. If not, I will probably have to step it up a notch on finding something that will work for me.

Young Life was good tonight. The kid's seemed to enjoy it, and I got to see Mrs. Wight (spelling I hope is good) drop off, Laura, sister of Sharon. I know them from the Faith Baptist days.....seems like forever ago. I liked it though, made me feel tingly inside. Then, I went home and watched Water World, which is like the stupidest movie ever made.........It really is so bad. I don't know why I watched the whole thing. lol. Ohh well, I am going to bed.

positive mixed within the negative

While I am working out, and after I am done working out, my tremors act up quite a bit. Which begs me to ask, "Should I not be putting any unnecessary strain on my body?" Are Tremors even bad? I found an awesome site devoted to connecting people with other people in their situation. It's called DailyStrength.org, and it's awesome, and the people care a lot! It is to help people with all types of situations; cancer, genetic disorders, liver disorders, sexuality confusion, nervous system issues, etc. It is dedicated to anyone who has any kind of struggle that someone else might be able to offer some type of insight. I LOVE IT, and it seems so helpful, already people have offered all sorts of ideas and opinions on my posted questions.

I am a bit down for the majority of the day. Earlier, I got a phone call from a good friend reminding me that I can't just ignore some of the things in my past, that I must take charge and put a definite end in order to relieve myself of the issue plaguing me, he didn't say a thing about this truth, he just reminded me with the subject we were talking about that I should worry about pleasing God before any physical man. After that, a different old friend came to me in what seemed like a serious call out for help. I told this person he could call me, but he wanted to just text, so that's what we did. After the last text message between us, another friend who was in a 5 year relationship had abruptly ended it because she decided to cheat on him needed to call and just talk. I didn't do much talking, because he just needed someone to unload on. BUT, at one point when I did get a chance to offer some sort of hope in a dreary situation, he did tell me, "ya know mike, you have always been a good listener, and you're right, I feel a little bit better." It made me smile, and I hope he can get some sleep tonight.

I woke up this morning and felt a little bit over whelmed. Nothing had even happened yet, I guess I got a glimpse at the "metaphoric highway of life" that I am wanting to get on (car, school, moving on, YoungLife, New Friends, New Lifestyle) and just felt very small and insignificant. I feel very directed to become a counselor and I feel like God allowed these people to unload their burdens on me to remind me that people do trust me, and respect my input. I felt like God was whispering in my ear, "Mikey, it's ok. You don't have to have everything or anything figured out. If you trust me, and leave the confusing things up to me, it will all work out for the better, I love you and I will take care of you my child." Once I was able to grasp this notion, this vital life lesson I had, lifted my own emotional burdens right off my shoulders.

I was invited to watch Transformers, WHICH CAME OUT TODAY on DVD, with Tyler and Amanda this evening. BUT, I hadn't grasped the ~thought/idea~ that I just spoke of, so I was in a little bit of a negative mood. I was just kind of down. It wasn't until Tyler dropped me off and I was standing at the garage door typing in the pass code, I smelled smoke, it was kind of like steamy smoke. I thought to myself, "Burn Pile." Over the weekend, my dad started a burn pile for a bunch of my moms old paper files from Boxed Delites that needed to be burned, along with the stump of a very massive oak tree that use to stand tall in our back yard. Ohh, it was still burning, and I could actually still see flame. Well, I wouldn't have been able to go to sleep very easy knowing that was still burning back in the yard by the tree line. SOOOO, I got a hose, and linked it with a longer hose and turned the water on. As I was standing there for a good 7 minutes, pouring the water on this fire that had begun to burn the deeply seeded roots of this ancient tree, I realized that God is so FULL OF GRACE, and that I have nothing to worry about. I thought up a really cool metaphor, but then forgot the majority of it. It had something to do with things in our lives relating to fires that just won't go out. You want the fire to cease for your own health, and the health of others around you, but it has been burning for a while, and is very deeply seeded, it is going to take a lot of water and mixing to put it out. I have some things that I need to deal with in my life. They aren't going to catch the forest on fire, but when I do get them snuffed out finally, I will probably be able to sleep a little bit better at night. ;-)

Catch up, and today.

Yesterday I didn't get home until like 4:00A.M. I was supporting a friend that is a really good guy, and it just took a really long time. Nuff said.

Before I supported my friend for a really long time, I hung out with Tyler and Michela as well as their 2 other friends Britney & Ashley from Taylor. We started out at Starbucks, made our way to Wall-Mar and ended up at Steak & Shake; our food didn't taste like Windex.

(smiling: Ashley, Britney, Michela not smiling: Tyler)

That was yesterday. Today, I woke up really late and eventually got around to working out, and then I wrote E-Mails to people for a while. Time kept going by faster and faster, and soon it was time to go to a Young Life event called Dessert Night. It is a time for parents and people interested in the Young Life organization to come and see what all they are doing in the community. There is really good desserts provided and music, and it just went really well. Makes me want to get super involved and just give it my all. It was set up with Tables and what not. There was a small open area where we held a shortened version of what Young Life does on Wednesday nights. CLUB. Sang a song, played a quick pop chugging contest, and then had a message. It went off without a hitch. Very cool, and there are some awesome people in charge of all this. Basically, I am proud to be a part of it. The kid's did great, and I just thought it went really well. Good stuff. I think I am going to call the main janitor guy from Pathway tomorrow and see what is up with the position available. It would so be perfect for me right now. I am really praying that I find a job soon that will just fit in perfectly with my schedule of what I am trying to do right now. That would be grand.

So, I love Hip Hop. BUT, it is so nasty, I can't even listen to the stuff that is in the main stream because it is such garbage. SO, I did a little search on GodTube.com and found these guys. I wanted to post one of their music videos and the lyrics to it. It is really good stuff, and has a great message.

Jesus Muzik Lyrics (Lecrae)
Lecrae - Jesus Muzik Lyrics

Lecrae: Yeah back on the grind again. I know it's been a lil while but it's time again.

Folks askin Crae when ya gonna rhyme again? I'm like hold up give me time my man.

See a lot of thangs change, some stay the same went from H Town to D Town to Memphis mayn.

One thang that's fasho, everywhere I go people caught up in theyself money cars and clothes (yep)

They talk about it all the time and put it in they songs They drive around and play it loud like it ain't nothin wrong And all they talk about is sinful stuff, got everybody actin bad thinkin that they a thug (weeelll)

They tryna drown me out, but nah they ain't gon count me out I got a back pack full of tracks plus I keep a Johnny Mac so we can pound it out Plus I'm bumpin dese JESUS BEATS whenever they SEEIN ME People lookin all confused, cuz every one of my tunes is screamin JESUS peeps I was bumpin dat TRIP LEE, BJ rollin WIT ME both our heads noddin like we dozin or we TIPSY But we ain't been drankin mayn nah this song just bangin mayn Got us screamin JESUS out the window while we changin lanes, while we just

Chorus 3X Ridin wit my top down listenin to this Jesus music Rid-ridin wit my top down down top top down ridin wit my top down Listenin to this Jesus Music Trip Lee:

If you hear that the bass bang and you see us in ya streets That stuff ya boy's playin mayn it's gon be dem Jesus beats (yall ready) That stuff we bumpin ain't that lean wit it rock wit it (nope) It's that change ya life and please let the rock hit it Now that stuff that we bump bring the sound of Christ LyricsChrist 116 our prayer to Christ was once lost then found now we down wit Christ In the dark hearts stop but we found the light now it's soundin right Suicide to the good and the phantom life cuz the gospel is good In the past I don't think yall understood now ya got it messed up Let us outta ya hood, we got the windows down and when we finna cruise We tryna glorify the Lord with what we listen to (OK)

we bump dat Cross Movement We bump that Lampmode (Lampmode) we bout that Jesus musik Get up yo hands bro (get up yo hands bro) yeah It might be screwed and chopped it might be east coast Either way this Jesus musik's hot bump this in ya speakers bro (they laugh) The Lord ain't pleased wit that money and weed So if you hear them 'sup and ya see us up in ya streets I might be

Chorus 3X Ridin wit my top down listenin to this Jesus music Rid-ridin wit my top down down top top down ridin wit my top down Listenin to this Jesus Music

Lecrae: You like music from rap to gospel but ya prolly neva heard nobody rap the gospel

Different sound but the truth's the same no choirs no bands but the truth remains We got fam and the clique set the booth on flames St Louis others philly Like Duce and Flame's if ya lost in the flow don't lose the name It's Jesus Christ the king of the jews my mayn

This ain't entertainment dawg it's timeless truth Would you rather hear a song about shiny coupes, nope Non-fat non-gat non-killa rap, 100% christ da blood spilla rap Yall feelin that, rap wrapped up with the gospel, ay trip dawg run it back Yall feelin that?

Rap wrapped up with the gospel ay trip dawg run it back Trip Lee: If in our car you hear that boom-bep and you hear some dude's rep It ain't dem folks that boast, it's folks that tell you where the truth's at We don't wanna hear about dimes and dope (nope)

We don't wanna hear about nines and smoke We don't wanna hear about movin packs and foolish cats Who lie and boast We do wanna hear about Christ the king Do wanna hear how lives is changed We do wanna hear how God is pleased And theology of the Bible mayn This Jesus music turn heads, so turn it up and let em know In all we do he's first and, this Jesus music's better bro (yeah)

Chorus 3X Ridin wit my top down listenin to this Jesus music Rid-ridin wit my top down down top top down ridin wit my top down Listenin to this Jesus Music

a movie and IHOP

Today, I went to Dave's sermon just like last saturday, it was soo good and I love and miss hearing him speak. It always touches my heart and is very uplifting. After the sermon, me and Tyler hung out for a bit, kind of just did whatever and eventually ended up going to a movie with our friend Michela and this time the movie was really good. We saw The Kingdom. I higly advise this to anyone who enjoys a good movie. After that we went to the International House of Pancakes. We talked and laughed and just enjoyed time with each other. I really like hanging out with Tyler, just like back in the old days, except now I see Tyler for how cool of a person he is. Tonight I am going to stay at the dorms Tyler lives at, and go to church with him at Fellowship. It should be fun, and I really like that church. Good Saturday? No, I would say it's an AMAZING Saturday.

Dry Wall and Trolley Bus

It's starting to really take shape. We probably have about a half of a days worth of work yet to do. But, it is something to be proud of. It's not something hard to do, but I can see how some people wouldn't be able to do it. It's a good thing that Troy has a lot of patience. ;-) Now, if she would just pay us, we could finish the job.

THEN, it was time. Time to suprise the heck out of Allison, then enjoy celebrating her 21st B-Day Trolley ride. I had so much fun. And the best part was she was TOTALLY SUPRISED! It was awesome, I am so proud of Jared for setting up everything, and I am so glad I could help out, I really enjoyed doing so, and it was just a great night.

In deed it was a good time. A time to remember also. I could totally do something like this for my significant other. If/when I have a significant other. It was ton's of fun. Also, that white shirt I am wearing. Everyone signed it with different various colorful markers, and when the night was over, Allison got to take it as a Trolley bus memento.

I don't know what to title this blog as....

Dear diary,

I laugh at monkeys that dance in unison with each other, it tickles my insides.

Just kidding, well I mean that does make me laugh, but I am not talking to a diary. Today I slept in a bit, worked out, applied for a position at Parkview North (hospital near where I live) and just was kind of lazy. In the evening, Amanda got out of her Hip Hop class, and then picked me up and we went to a cafe, and had our devotion. It was good. We both enjoyed it, and it was just good.

Me and Troy didn't work today because he was going to go job hunting, ya know turn in some applications and what not. Well, turns out he got a job offer, and he has until 4:00 tomorrow to decide whether or not he is going to take it. I am so happy for him, and he just needs to be lifted up in prayer that he makes the right decision. The right decision for him, his family, and his future.

~Health Update~

It is starting to get cold outside. This kind of makes me feel a little bit of negative anticipation. Mostly because my body does not take very well to drastic temperature changes. I remember last year during the Fall time, I had many health conflicts. I am staying optimistic, and hoping that the stem cell treatment will continue to keep me from progressing, so when people ask me how I am doing, I can continue to tell them, "so far, so good." Inside, I am kind of nervous. I am trusting that God is in control still, and I know that whatever happens is going to happen for a reason, but I can't help but be a little bit anxious in regards to my health. I keep biting the inside of my cheek. I don't know if that is anything M/S related, like muscles not acting quite like they should, or if that is just because I am biting the inside of my cheek. It hurts when I bite it though.

Young Life is awesome!

Me and Troy really got a lot accomplished dry walling today. It is really starting to come together too. That basement looks good! We make a good team, and get along really well. It's fun too, and I was telling him today it has been a real blessing for me to be able to work with him and spend some quality time together.

Tomorrow I start the devotional, "Growing Through Life's Challenges" with Amanda. I think we will meet at this place Jared told me about. It's called The Coffee Cafe, yeah I know it's a pretty generic name, but he told me it would be a good spot because it has a room where you can get some privacy. I am stoked to start in on the study guide.

Tonight at 6:00p.m. I was invited to go and eat with the Young Life leaders. It was so cool and they really made me feel welcomed. I am seriously excited to see where this will go. After we ate, we prayed and talked about what the game plan was for the evening. Josh (leader) is so good at gathering the metaphoric "troops." He can gather, inform, motivate and calm with his facial expressions alone. He is a natural born leader, and it is really cool to see him in action. His sister Jessica spoke tonight. The topic was running/hiding from things you have done, or are ashamed of. She gave the story of the woman who was caught in idolatry, and the men brought her to Jesus in front of a crowd. "He who is without sin cast the first stone" and all that. It all tied together very nicely, and the kid's were very attentive and it seemed like they got something from it.

This is Meg. She put on some goofy glasses and made this face for me. It was fun just to stand in the hall way everyone had to pass through on their way out. I would just ask how they enjoyed the evening, and invite them back next week. Simple things for now, to set up trust and let them know we care about them. Totally loving it, and praying that whatever job I get will have a schedule that will allow me to continue with Young Life.

Tomorrow there will be no dry walling, Troy has to go to Warsaw to hand in some applications for job's. So, day off. I will probably work out, rake leaves in the back yard, change the oil in my mom's car, and try to read the rest of The Raggamuffin Gospel.

Life is good.

Shot a gun, got a devotion

Straight up fool!! Better watch yourself, you never know what corner I will be hiding around....

After I got home today, Amanda and I went to the Anchor room and picked out a devotional/study guide. This is soo good, because it will be a good way to be in the word, and will allow us to keep each other accountable as well as grow in our spiritual walks. Very, Very cool. The book we decided on is called Growing Through Life's Challenges by James and Martha Reapsom. I am really interested to see what path this will go down, mainly because I have never had a friendship where I have done this before. She was so willing to say yes too. It's great, and I got to shoot my brothers gun, and it made me feel macho. I find myself asking....Could my day have possibly gotten any better? I find myself answering..........no, I don't think so.

I enjoy Amanda. We seem to vibe well. We have similar personalities, and some of the same tendencies. We have this "thing" going on. Because of an "inside story/joke," we both try to put the other in an awkward situation. She always beats me though, always can 1 up my awkward attempt. My goal: Find a way to disrupt the awkward situation queen, so that I may rein as awkward King. I figure it's only a matter of time till the perfect chance comes around. And when it does, it will be glorious. (creepy villan laugh in back ground)

Young Life & Meeting with Dave

Got a chance to meet with Josh Vongunten today. We met at Higher Grounds (coffee shop) and just talked. We talked about what Young Life is all about, and I got a chance to share where I am currently at in my spiritual walk. I was really positive after it, I felt like something extremely good was accomplished. I felt like I was open, honest, and interested. What a great combination!Then, around 6:15 I went over to Daves house (old youth pastor who challenged me) to pray, talk, and seek closure in certain areas that I maybe haven’t quite forgiven myself. It was refreshing and comforting. I fell back in the scripture, and have a couple of specific subjects made clear to me for me to digest through the week. Then, I will call him up for another round. I love Dave’s God given ability to challenge me then help me follow through. He also challenged me to really get back into the word. I know, for me it is best to do this with accountability. I have asked a friend if she would be willing to start a Bible study. Some time in the near future, we will go to the Anchor Room (Christian book store) to find a study we can both agree on and grow from. I am stoked for all this, and really want to continue this push towards a healthy, active relationship with my Father. It’s really different to be excited in something that is solid, something that can fill your every need, instead of something that is earthly, of the flesh or temporary. I really feel motivated to continue this push in the direction I am heading. It’s good stuff.

The reading has begun.

Church today was kind of awkward. I know that Pathway means well, and is run by Christ focused people. BUT, today was just so glitzy and felt like it was trying harder to entertain those in attendance, than to present a message that would challenge and tug at the heart. I felt this because they used a lot of media in the service today. The pastor used props while he was giving his sermon also. It was a good message though, and hit close to home as well.

The message came from Psalm 32:

Blessed is he

whose transgressions are forgiven,

whose sins are covered.

Blessed is the man

whose sin the Lord does not count against him

and in whose spirit is no deceit.

that was just 32:1-2, but the point was put in front of my face quickly, and kind of went back to what I felt yesterday evening. I know that the Lord has forgiven the sin's of my past. I know that he doesn't even see them anymore, because when the Lord forgives, he wipes the slate clean. BUT, if I do not forgive myself, or I can't let go of the Idea that I did some of these things, then the DECEIT will stay with my spirit. Dave made an awesome point yesterday when we spoke afterwards. He said, the lord does not always grant prayers for physical healing, but ALWAYS heals your spirit when you ask. I called Dave, and tomorrow at 6:30 I am going over to his house to deal with some of these "issues, faults, sin's of my biological back ground, fears, short comings, etc." I liked what Dave said when he wrapped up the short phone conversation. He said, "ya know mike, it's not like these things will keep you from growing in Christ, or keep you out of Heaven, or anything like that. They may just keep certain areas of your heart/mind from giving itself 100% to God.

I started reading The Ragamuffin Gospel today after Church. I am not a reader, I never have been. In fact, I can't remember ever reading a whole book that didn't have pictures and illustrations in it. Today, I read for 71 pages straight, and when I get done typing, I am going to go lay down and read some more until Kaley picks me up for Collateral tonight. Hows that for a good read? ~~~BEFORE

~~~AFTER Colateral was good, and me and Kaley had some kind of awkyard vibe going on that was not cool in my opinion. I'm gonna let it slide though, maybe she just had some "issues."

After that, I went to a movie with Tyler and Amanda, and 2 of Tylers friends....Jared and Meikola (botched spelling, I know) We went and saw, Eastern Promises. This is what I have to say about that movie..........DON'T SEE IT! It was gory, had way to much full frontal male nudity, and was just not that good of a plot or anything really. After, we went to Steak & Shake, and had some good conversation and hung out. It was really great, and this is the fellowship I have so longed for. It really is, and makes me feel so good. I enjoy it too, I don't have to pretend, or fake anything. Just be me. It's a great feeling.

and I said.....IT WAS SO GOOD

There were so many good, God things today. Here are a few....

I woke up late and my house was empty. It is so nice to have my parent's house all to myself. So, what did I do? I woke up late, laid upon my couch, indulged in television, then got around. I worked out hardcore. I even managed to pull this candid shot of myself benching some serious Iron. gotta love that camera timer option....

After I got cleaned up I really felt convicted to go and see my old youth pastor speak at a Mennonite church that he has been speaking at for the past couple of month's. There was only a handful of people there, but I knew I was suppose to be there. Amanda accompanied me/drove me and we enjoyed the message. After it was over, I was invited to go to the Burchfields house with Dave and Margie Pelz. It was amazing, and Dave pretty much read me like an open book. He is so good at doing this, definitely one of his spiritual gift's. He pointed out how I am still carrying some emotional baggage, and how it would most helpful for me to have some spiritual cleansing in some specific areas of my life. EX. adoption issues, disease issues, X-friend issues, parents issues, past drug issues, how I view myself issues, Life issues. And the thing I really appreciate about Dave is that he doesn't point something out to you, and then leave you hanging. Also, I really trust him to pry into areas that would be easier for me to keep hidden. Here in the near future, I am going to call him and we are going to set up a time to meet, and possibly several times if needed. All I know for sure is that meeting tonight with those people was nothing but the holy fathers work. I was just a willing participant.

After that, at maybe 9:00P.M. I got dropped off at my friend Tyler Morningstar's mom's house. Tyler is in charge of baby sitting his little bro and sis. Well, we took his brother to the Haunted Castle. It was a riot. Here is Tyler and Ben. It's a little blurry, but you get the picture.

After that, we invited Amanda over and we got some Nintendo Wii action, and played a little hide & go seek, the four of us did. Everything -the mosquito's was great fun!

Amanda on the couch, I think she might possibly have been wondering what she got herself into at this point, but I know she had a good time and it was really good. It was good, clean Christian fellowship and I really enjoyed myself. You can't beat that. You really can't, and I will continue to seek this kind of involvement until I am at a place where I feel comfortable in my friends and break away from the people that I just need to let go of.

HAPPY BIRTH DAY MOM!

Today was my mom's 58th birth day. I think she enjoyed it, and that's all that really matters. I had another good/short day of putting up dry wall with Troy. I got home from working, made a home made card, and waited for my mom to come home. We went out for FISH, and then I gave the card I made to her. I think she really liked it. Then................I had her drop me off at Chris's house for some HALO 3 action. I don't care if it makes me a nerd, I love that game! ;-)

Hopefully I can find someone to go with me to a church tomorrow that my old Youth pastor speaks at on Saturday evenings. That would be just great. I really don't mind asking people if they would like to go somewhere with me.............it's when I have to ask them to drive me that I feel like a grade A LoSeR. I know I have to just bite my lip when it comes to this, but it is soooo difficult. I want nothing more than to be independent and doing everything on my own, BUT I have to rely on people, and that just sucks for me.

Drywalling ain't so bad

Today, me and my big brother troy put up dry wall in this room in this guys basement. It was really awesome being able to work with Troy and get to talk and have fun with him. The plus was I was getting paid to do it! I learned a few things about putting up dry wall, and learned new things about my biological background as well as Troy. The Lord is using my big brother in a really unique way, and I feel very proud to see him grow in the Lord, I haven't even known him that long and have had the awesome chance to see him grow spiritually. We were talking about that today, we got a chance to talk about many things. It was a really good experience.

After that, Mer came over for dinner which was nice, and then I got to play Halo 3! ohh that's right, and it rocks my socks.

Tomorrow is my mom's 58th Birth Day, and I am going to try my best to make her feel special. God help me.

FEEL THE BURN!

Ohh, I got my weight's last night; father brought them home from school where they have sat for quite some time. I did get my work out in this morning. I know it was a good one, and that I had worked muscles that had not been worked in quite some time because when I got in the shower after I was done and reached my left arm up to rinse off, it was having trouble reaching all the way up. lol. YESSSS! Now, I have to just find the right time of day, and be able to get on a routine. In due time....ohh yes, in due time.

I read a really awesome article written about why Michael J. Fox is wrong in regards to his support of Embrionic Stem Cell Research. It is so good, I had to post it on my web site. It's long, but worth reading. >>>~Click ME~<<<

Chris got Halo 3 today, and it is amazing.

Last, but definitely not least, tomorrow I am going to be working on a "side job" with my brother Troy. We are both currently unemployed and he needs an extra worker to help him to put up some dry wall. I don't have to much experience, but am a quick learner, and I know how to drill, so it will be a good experience. Also, I will get some much needed 1 on 1 time with my big bro. I need the money, and it's just AWESOME!

good day

I had an awesome day today. I went for my interview at Pathway for the part time housekeeping position. They start at $10/hr. so that would be great if I get it. I felt pretty confident in the interview and we will see in like a week. He has to go to New Jersey soon, because he God Father passed away recently. Pushes his whole schedule back. Evan Pinkerton came over and we talked for a while about what's goin on in his life. I really did have a good day.

In the evening however, I got Some disTurbing nEws about a friend, news that is just not Pretty in any way, sHape or form. It makes me very disappointed in this friend, and to be honest put me in a very bad mood. I get so disgusted sometimes. Sometimes I feel like the decisions that others make, effects me more than it does the person making the bad decision.

I dunno, I am going to bed.

important phone calls, and some videos

I got the DVD from News Channel 15, and so I uploaded to share with the world. Today, I went with my mom to get new tires on her car, after that was taken care of we went to Triple A insurance and I filled out an application for a full time job that will be available soon through the holidays. On a confidence Scale of 1-10, 1 being "not confident at all" and 10 being "I got the job." I would say I was feeling about a 4.5, so not too bad.

Then, as I was looking through the video files on my computer, I ran accross this PRICELESS video that was taken a while back at my brothers house, during a bon fire. It is of my nephew Joel, spinning like a champ on a tire swing. Check it out. LOL.

I got a phone call from a guy named Josh Vongunten, he is one of the paid staff for YoungLife. He is a pretty cool guy. I left him a phone call yesterday telling him that I really liked what I saw and would love to be able to become a volenteer staff member. He was syked about what I was saying, so here in the near future we are going to meet up for lunch or something and talk. I am totally excited for this. Also, I have an interview for a housekeeping/light maintence position at Pathway tomorrow at 1:00. Hopefully that goes good, and maybe I will even get it.

I got another phone call from my buddy Evan Pinkerton. Evan joined the Air Force right after high school. Right now he is stationed in Florida, and flies on a MH-53M Pave Low. Long story short, Evan was with his crew doing some practice flying when there was a problem and the chopper dropped out of the air like a rock. The 45 Million dollar plane was ripped in half and Evan and his crew members are lucky to be alive. Evan ships out for Iraq in the end of October.