I love lamp

I think that today was a pretty solid day. I say this because I got a lot accomplished and had super high spirits, higher than normal even.

I didn't feel like a plumb melon head or anything.I felt more like a blessed servant of Christ. I got some incredible news from a friend in California. The enormously generous person who is flying me out to Arizona and back just confirmed the flights today. I am totally pumped for this. It is going to be an amazing and SWEET experience to serve God and kids. I believe we are called to be a servant in all facets of life, but getting a chance to serve at a place like a Young Life camp is especially neat for someone who is wanting to directly serve kids. I say this because these kids are taken out of their element, we (myself and the kids that will come to the camp) will have a chance to really take a good look on the inside and seek God's face in a more inwardly directed sort of fashion. I am just so excited!
Today I spent a lot of my day in the computer lab at IPFW (Indiana University Purdue University Fort Wayne). I have a group project coming up next Thursday for my communications class and I am going to really be proactive with my group. I started out by printing out some general ideas and things of the sort to kind of drop kick our project into the right direction. It was a successful group meeting. I like the people in the group, and feel that we should do just fine.

Also, on campus today they were providing free food. It was pretty cool. I met up with my friend and fellow Young Life leader Ryan and ate up some food and chatted about our summer plans and such. It was motivating and so pretty outside today.

All the sunniness kind of has a way of making a guy pretty sleepy. :-)

G'Night!

don't forget the clutch, THE CLUTCH!!!!

Sanctification: a state of separation unto God; all believers enter into this state when they are born of God. I really like the whole idea of this because anyone can have it, any one can enter into it. I got this from my devotional today, and I wanted to share it, because I don't like to keep things to myself. I'm just so generous, ;-)


Today was great, I worked at Pathways since 6:30AM until about 4:30, well I took a break in between to go to Snider for LUNCH! Got to hang out with some buddies and what not, it was great stuff. After lunch I went and got some more Fertilizer and took off some poster like things hanging from the foyer down. I took a picture from on top of the 12ft ladder.I am actually really high up in this picture, so I suppose this view doesn't really do it justice. Let's put it this way, if I would have fallen, I would have busted my head all over the ground.

At Young Life tonight, they played this crazy game. The peanut butter game, and it was pretty much a racing match to see who could down the most peanut butter the fastest. WOW, that is a lot of PB!

After CLUB got over, we (me, Umar, Reggie and another leader Howie) played some Spades, and actually Reggie did an awesome job. I have tried to learn this card game so many times. Like seriously, so many times through high school, but they all sucked horribly at explaining it. Reggie and his friend Umar (friend we took to get Chinese food yesterday) explained it, and it all started to make sense.

Also, when I took Reggie home tonight, we did a little something extra. He wants to learn how to drive a car really bad, and I am willing to teach him. We went to an empty parking lot, and he got his first lesson of how to drive a Stick Shift! He did pretty darn good for his first time, I just had to be patient. I remember what it was like my first time. You just need someone to be oohhh so slow and very calm. VERY, VERY CALM!

ummmmm Chinese

Today I found out what grade I got on my last Psych test, sigh...it was the exam that I felt like I didn't do so hot on, the one that I was really unsure about. Yeah, well I got a 92%!! Dude, I was so excited it's not even funny. It figures that I would get the highest score on the test that I felt the least confident about. Gotta love that kind of stuff.

Count:	68
Average:	72.7
Median:	72.0
Maximum:	100.0 only 1 person though
Minimum:	42.0
Standard Deviation:	13.87

So in my Comm class we went outside because it was super duper nice outside. It was hot in the class and the one of the students said, "hey, so are we going to have class outside?" Aleshia, the professor said, let's vote, the class voted unanimously in favor of the idea, so out we went. That was neat!

I went home and, what did I do? Hummm, I think I talked with my mom about stuff and chilled. Eventually towards the evening I picked up Reggie and his friend and we all went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant that I have been to before on the south side of town. I really liked it, and Reggie said he felt like Chinese food, so off we went. IT WAS SO GOOD, and we got to play with the ladies little kids, who were a blast!!!The Chinese lady/owner remembered me, and was giving us all kinds of free food. She was so friendly, and her kids were adorable!!! Very smart as well. It was a lot of fun!

After I dropped off Reggie and his friend I swooped by Jared's (my best friend who lives down town) house to check on him and his roomies. Well, Jared hates his new job, and was about to go to bed. His roommates Dan and Derek wanted to go to Meijer and buy some planting soil and some seeds. I said I would drive, and I DID! We had a good time at the late night Meijer.

I then went home, and soon I will be asleep. Once I am asleep, I very may well dream of wonderful things, and then contemplate them early in the morning, only to forget by the time I get out of the Shower.

I also had a great Devotion today, the jist of it talked about the importance of staying in tune with God. In my written journal I recently started I wrote at the botom, "what does it mean to stay in tune with God?"

Goodnight!

ohhh crap, it BURNS!

So today, I was outside throwing some fert down on some huge fields.It was very foggy this morning. It gave the feel of a very erie and surreal surrounding. I kind of liked it, but it made my morning slow at first. I worked my butt off, but once the fog lifted, IT GOT SUNNY OUT! I remember just posting not to long ago, about how careful I need to be because I know how easily I burn. But, I didn't yeild my own whatever and now my back is scolding. In the immortal words of Homer Simpson, "DO'OH!!"

So, after I got off work around 3:00 I tried to wrangle up some guys to go Geo Cashing, but schedules conflicted, I said I would try to make it happen on Wednesday, we will see what I can put together. Instead, I called up some guys and checked out what they were up to. They said they would be playing some B-Ball at the IPFW on campus outside courts by the dorms. When they got there, I texted one of the guys and asked him how many were there. Then I left my house and picked up some pizza and POP. I took it over to the courts and they were so happy. As soon as the food got there, they stopped, and then wanted to go back to one of there apartment complexes to eat. We did, and in the process one of the guys wanted to show off his Stereo in his car, that he almost has his license for. The battery doesn't work, so I hooked up some jumper cables to mine to hear it.After the pizza was gone, I told them that I wanted to see them play. Well, they knew the courts at IPFW would be taken for a long time on a day like today. SO, I said I knew of a place we could go to that wouldn't get bothered. I took them to my old elementary school parking lot, and they BALLED it up. They are pretty darn good too! It was fun to watch them play! I had a great time driving them around and chillen with them.AHHH, I FEEL LIKE MY BACK IS ON FIRE!

i'm back & it was thoroughly enjoyable

How do you describe; put into understandable words how "GOD" has just worked in a very real and clear way? Is it okay to just try your best to put a spiritual experience into words, for man to gawk at and think your just trying to brain wash them? Should it even be attempted? Personally, I think it should be attempted until you are blue in the face, and then until the muscles in your mouth(or fingers) get tired, THEN, keep trying. God is with me every second of every minute, of every hour, of every day, for all time. But, it is a really amazing experience to come to a place where you are surrounded by many other believers who just experienced the same exact feeling. Let me just post up some pictures first, then I will dive right into this concept of "experiencing God" first hand.

(The Fort Wayne area YL people)

(Kelsey, ME, Ryan, Jennie)

Ohh baby, it really was quite the weekend. Prayer, personal time for deep understanding, thinking and reflection. More over, just opening up my heart to a new type of love. I am starting to "get it" more and more and it is really quite exciting. Bottom line, Young Life isn't about converting sinners to Christianity. It is about LOVING KIDS, but, loving them in a way Christ commands us to. This can only lead to one thing, which is an eternal relationship with Abba. What a concept, seriously, what a friggin concept! Love people, and in showing them that love, they will start to see and understand what "IT" is all about. This is something I have been quite aware of and have understood, but to become a lasting reality, well, that is completely different. This is what I strive for.

Here is the moment I spoke of at the start of the post. Where God entered the room at a very real and amazing place. I could have taken a picture of all of the leaders/staff in this room singing, but my mind was way too preoccupied with worship and learning. It was yesterday evening after a very pleasant day walking and talking in the great city of Chicago. We all got back to the hotel conference room and listened to the speaker and I wrote notes and thought. Well, it wasn't until the end of the session that we had some singing/worship time. People were singing from their hearts, eyes closed and arms raised there was a connection. A very real and visual connection. I remember singing, and not caring about anything else but dissecting the words and offering them up to God. Periodically I would offer my prayer out loud, thanking and giving all the glory to Him. I broke into tears, and I had goose bumps, my legs shook violently even though I have not experienced tremors for quite some time. The guy next to me, a complete stranger connected with me through the Holy Spirit and everything was good. I wish I could explain it. I wish I could do that moment justice. If I died tonight in my sleep and I went to heaven, and all I got to do was have a non-stop time experiencing what I experienced yesterday during that worship time, well, that would be extensively alright.

Yesterday when the 3 of us were making the trip up to Chicago, the question was asked of me, "what would you really like to get out of this?" I said with sureness that I would really like to get a better understanding of what the best way was to deal with and try to tackle the task of urban ministry. Last night after the session, a very friendly and awesome guy from New Jersey came up to me and asked if I would like to have breakfeast (break feast) with him this morning and talk about urban ministry. That just kind of made sense to me. ;-)

All in all the week was overwhelmingly good.

Chicago for the weekend!

I am so pumped, I am at the hotel in Chicago for the weekend, and it was a BLAST TO DRIVE UP and even better once we got to the Young Life conference.

It was Kelsey, Ryan and I going to Chicago. Such good conversations and great times on the car ride. Once we got to the hotel the energy was intense! There was a ton of college aged leaders/staff and it is just such an ideal idea to be in a place where everyone has the same passion as you. AWESOME!

The Hotel is really nice too. I am going to have a blast this weekend!

eeesh

Today started out with a little bit of, "ehh, I dunno." I took my Psychology exam this morning and just wasn't too sure about it. I just don't know what to expect. I doubted myself on several questions. When the test was over, I quickly pulled out the study guide, and had a momentary sigh of relief because I went with my initial thought, instead of my "hummm, maybe it is this one" answerer. I believe it paid off. But still, there were others that I couldn't remember once the test was over, that I felt unsure about. I suppose I will find out when the results are posted. But, right after the test was over and I was in my car driving to work, I had this face.

I call it the "I dunno" face.

I headed off to work and the darnedest thing happened to me. Right when I get there, John (boss) tells me that I have to go out and run some errands. No big deal, I have done it plenty of times. I have taken the work truck and gone places several times. The work truck, by the way has an automatic transmission. My car, however, is a 5-speed. I was pulling out of the church parking lot, and I guess I thought I was still in my car, because when I approached the area where the parking lot turns into the street that leads into the neighborhood next to the church, my left foot (clutch foot) started searching for the clutch. Well, there was no clutch there, so it found the closest peddle. This just so happened to be the break, which my left foot went ahead and slammed down on. ha ha ha ha!!! I almost hit my head on the steering wheel I stopped so fast. I just started laughing because of how stupid I felt.

I left work @ 1:30 to go and get my 2nd treatment of Tysabri (new medicine for M/S). yummmm, Tysabri & Salad, it's a perfect mix.After that I went home and got things around for my trip to Chicago tomorrow. I had a phone conversation with Josh about some things. It looks like the format, or at least content of this BLOG is going to change a little bit. Not with my life specifically, but some things within it. It is going to happen because of the ministry field I choose to be in. I maybe don't like it so much, but it is the way it is going to go down, because I feel very strongly about YL and all of it's happenings. :-)

MINI Health Update
I have noticed that I have been clinching down my teeth automatically lately. Pretty much since I started to experience the weakness on my right side. Every time I am not diligently thinking about clamping down on my jaw, I clinch my teeth together. It really wears my jaw out believe it or not. It probably isn't too good on your teeth either.

Another day, another CLUB

Today for YL Club, we met at a different location. We moved from the HUGE pool house, to the quaint coffee cafe.

Yup, we changed it up a bit and moved our location to a coffee house near the High School. It is called the Coffee Cafe. I don't know how I feel about it. It was pretty jammed packed with kids from wall to wall. I mean, the atmosphere is very conducive to chatting it up, but it was so cramp. I dunno though, I suppose it is up to the decision makers, which I am not. ;-) I can get a long anywhere, we could meet at Burger King and I would make it work.

holy GRADES!

I accidentally slept in today through my Psych class. This happened because I changed the alarm on my phone. I made it the Titanic theme song.........which is a song that will make you go to sleep, lol, so it was pretty stupid to try to wake up to. Learned my lesson there. No matter, the same class meets in the evening. I went to School this morning anyway once I got up and around, about 10AM. Went to school and worked on PSYCH homework, then prepared for my last Speech in my intro to communications class (COMM 114). I got the grade for my speech today, which by the way was a persuasive speech about Multiple Sclerosis, trying to persuade people to be knowledgeable about the disease and all parts of it. I also got a grade back for my self analysis paper I turned in on Thursday. GET THIS.......

Self Analysis= 110%

Persuasive Speech=108%
She(prof) said there was a lot of emotion in it, and that I explained all facets of it very very well. I took a picture of myself after I got out of my comm class on the way home.I was so pumped. Now, I know it is a 100 level nothing class, but it still felt really good to get the grades.

I went home for a bit, and then eventually went back to IPFW for the Psych class I had missed in the AM. (moral of this story, don't make the Titanic Theme Song your alarm clock setting) After I got out of the class, I went to the computer lab till like 10:00PM working on completing a study guide for the test on Thursday. I got it done, then as soon as I get in my car, I get this phone call from a lady who has been E-Mailing me for a little while wanting to call and talk to me, well it was an amazing conversation and it blessed me so much. The power of the Holy Spirit took over, and we connected through HIM. There were tears, and I prayed for her on the phone. It was such an amazing and powerful situation. Please pray for Tami & her 3 year old daughter Jillian (jelly bean) who has cerebral palsy. It is so powerful to see and feel the connection God allows through his people, even complete strangers. IT'S GOOD STUFF PEOPLE!

One last thing, take the POLL only once please. It doesn't tell me who, but it tells me if the same people are polling more than once. THANKS SO MUCH!

I went to the library and studied

The above picture is of the the once every other week Young Life leader meeting we have. It was a really good meeting and we even had a "toast session" where we toasted to YL kids. I wanted to post it on yesterday's, but for some reason, it wasn't allowing me to. So, enjoy the lovely picture...ohh, lol. and know that the drinks are White Grape Juice (WGJ).

I started my day off as normal.....since John did not call me for work at Pathways. I really ought to make the effort to find another job, BUT I am going to be gone for almost 5 weeks this summer, starting in mid May, so that kind of makes it very difficult. If I get a job, then I just have to tell them I need almost 5 weeks off. By the way, I need this time off because I am going to be working at a Young Life camp this summer in Arizona. It is called Lost Canyon and it is going to be an amazing opportunity. The total cost=nothing. My friend is paying for my air fare with the sky miles points he has gathered through the years in his constant flying. It is going to be a great time for me to be taken out of my element and work on establishing a relationship with Christ where I am just completely reliant and centered on him. I will also be serving kids. I have no idea what exactly I will be doing, but it could be anything from doing laundry to running a ropes course or something of the sort. It doesn't matter though, I will be serving Christ through serving kid's. Then, as soon as I get back from Arizona, I will be going to a camp in Michigan with our (Fort Wayne YL) kids. It is going to be a lot of serving kids. I am pretty darn pumped!

I give my last speech in my Comm class tomorrow. I am giving a persuasive speech about being aware of Multiple Sclerosis. I have a lot knowledge of the topic, so I think I ought to do pretty good. I also have several really smart

Someone sent me this awesome video, check this out!

6 DAYS LEFT, take the POLL! Only once please. :-)

umm humm

(early morning post 10:19AM)
I was suppose to work at 8:00 this morning, but at 7:33 I got a text informing me that there would be no work. ughhh, So I went in for a meeting at a coffee shop with Josh (YL Staff) Rich (YL Committee) and Ryan (YL Leader). It was good and I walked away from it with some encouraging scripture that some of the guys have come up with through their personal studies. Starting in Mark 10:46 is the story of Bartimaeus. This is a guy who was shamed by his townspeople, yet he didn't care. When Jesus came walking through Jericho, he shouted out over and over, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" The conclusion that we came to was that this dude knew who he was, but furthermore, he knew who Christ was. In the end, Jesus says, "go, your faith has healed you." The point Josh pondered from this story was this: as Christians, why do we get comfortable where we are at? When the pastor asks if anyone is in need of prayer at the end of a service, why do we slouch down, and dig into our seat? We need to be like Bartimaeus, get over this introverted spirituality, and really live it out for God, he is really the only one we should be trying to impress. It just spoke to me, that's all.

So then I get home, and I check my E-Mail. Well, one of my friends from China posted an update on his BLOG. It kind of made my heart sink, and I am at a loss for words to try to comfort Frank. If you are interested in the situation, read it by CLICKING HERE. I met Frank (guy who lost his niece) and Rafe(writer of BLOG) while I was in China. Rafe was my next door neighbor, and Frank was his care taker. I got to be really close with them while in China. They even came to visit me a while back in November because Rafe has family that live pretty close. CLICK HERE to see the post of when they came to have dinner with us. So, here is the problem I run into. I want to call Frank, and I probably will once I think he is awake, but it is going to be difficult for me to console him. I probably have such a vastly different view of life & death and pain then they do. Especially after reading this current book, Where is God When it Hurts? It's such a nasty situation though, BUT so much personal & spiritual growth can come out of it...If you really try to see it for what it is. I dunno, Pray for Frank right now, because he is really hurting.

So in the evening after I got back from Dave Church, I took some Young Life guys to a Mad Antz game. Reggie came along as well.I had to take a picture of Reggies noggin because I thought his brother did such a good job. His brother is a self proclaimed hair stylist, and he is really good, as you can see. The other two guys who came were Nolan and Ross. They are two really great guys. Pretty super duper day.

don't let go, you've got the music in you

I listened to this old school song by New Radicals, and decided to go with that as the POST title.

I went to work today(Pathways Community Church) and I worked my butt off. I started off with jeans on and ended up cutting them into jean shorts real quick. I was hauling 60 lb. bags of quick crete up an 8ft. ladder onto the mezzanine for storage. I was wearing a beater and was pretty sweaty, of course almost every single bag had some size rip in it so when I went to shoulder it to carry up the ladder it went all over me. LOL. AHHHHH! So, I have already found out that extremely intense physical labor is really hard on my body...I wonder if I should be doing this kind of stuff....hummmm I need a desk job, but there are so many reasons Pathways has been really good for me and my situation and I can come and go as I please, and it works around my schedule. Ohh well, I will just not stress about that either. :-)Here was a LIVE ACTION SHOT of me in the parking lot walking from the Yellow Beast of a Box truck to the church. It was so sweaty in there! he he he. I had to unload this equipment from that white trailer into the box truck. It was some extremely heavy and expensive light lifts. If anyone needs some steel framed high sealing light lifts, just let me know! :-)

When I got home from work I was sooo tired, I passed out on the couch right away. I get so tired now a days. In reality, it is probably due to my M/S and I know that is something I will have to prepare for and what not.....(scrunches nose & lifts upper lip) But, I just don't want to think that I am any different than any other 21 year old.

(TO BROTHER) Hey Troy, I really wanna get that book from you that you were trying to give me a while ago. We will have to work out a way for me to get that from ya. :-)

It's a Thursday

I went to class and realized that I am very confident with my Major change. Psychology seems so abstract, I didn't put too much thought into the idea of getting into it in the first place either. So, I am really happy about that.

After my first class (psychology) I went over to Snider to talk in a class about Suicide. One of the teachers, Mrs. Honig asked if I would come over and speak to one of her classes. It is a health class, and they were covering the topic of Suicide. Well, I pretty much just shared what was on my heart and this one kid really opened up. It is so neat that it was this one specific kid too. Remember that Snider High School has about 2,000 kids, so to even run into the same kid in the hall way on more than one day is "unlikely." Well, I was going through this LARGE lunch room a while back and my heart directed me towards this kid. Shaggy blond hair and kind of chunky. Well, we started talking about calculator games, and this and that. I just wanted to keep a line of communication open with him. We would see each other in the hall, and I just felt compelled to seek him out the following weeks. Well, before I spoke in Mrs. Honig's class, she briefed me in the hallway. She told me about this kid "Chris" and his situation. "Chris" is the kid I was seeking out. When he was 6 years old, his brother killed himself. It really changed him, and it was just a horrible situation. Well, after I spoke, I just kind of opened it up to the class. Chris just talked from his heart. He told me the whole story right there in class, and he really sounded mature. I gave him the typical YL invite, but I also said I would love to take him to go get coffee or a bite to eat, and just talk with him. He said he would think about it, so I will have to remember to continue to seek him out. I know it was a God thing though.

(previously taken picture)

I talked with Reggie at school today too. I am disappointed in myself for not continuing with him. He needs a male figure in his life so bad, and I feel like I may have let him down the past couple of weeks, because I just kind of slipped away a bit. Spring break may have tripped me up a bit, and Ga$ prices have had an impact as well. Most of these kids live on the other side of town. It is so hard on my already minuscule budget to be able to go to them with any kind of frequency if I am not working a lot.

I got done @ Snider and went home to find 2 of my Aunts and my Grandmother. They were in town because my Grandpa had to go to the VA hospital in Fort Wayne. We were chillen and talking in the living room with my mom and her sad broken foot. :-( When out of no where we had some visitors pop in. Check it out BELOW.Right in our back yard, 6 deer pranced in and were checking us out. It was so crazy to see. They just came right on in like it was perfectly normal. I know they were here first and all that, but it was just so strange to see them so close. You can only see 4 of them in this shot, but there was one little guy off to the left, and one just out of the picture to the right. It was awesome!

the name that's running the game

I went to the dermatologist this morning first thing to get some stitches removed from my upper chest. While I was waiting I couldn't help but laugh at/with this old timer. The first thing he said was, "there sure are a lot of big women in here." It kind of caught me by surprise, so I couldn't help but laugh out loud. He is in the far back corner, the lady directly to his right is his wife, and I am not sure who the lady is sitting next to her. Some women were offended, but for the most part they knew he was just a fairly deaf old man with no manners. He kept me rolling though. It was like the kind of laugh you do when you are just so taken by what someone says, and it's not that is is so super offensive that you have to say something. You just kind of get the, "WOW" effect.

After I got out of the dermatology office I went over to Snider High School to chill with my homies and see what all they were up to over spring break. I got a chance to talk with Dijon (D) for a while in the hall. It was really cool because he opened up about certain things. He said he is going to let me take him to the Mad Antz (basketball NBA D League) with me and some other Young Life guys this weekend. He sounded very sincere, but I guess we will just see how serious he is this weekend. His cell phone is shut off, but I got his home phone #. My prayer request is that I have the perfect opportunity to persuade him to agree to go to camp this summer. It would be so so so good to get him out of his element and give him a chance to work on "himself."

I am taking 2 kids from Snider who have never gone to Young Life, they don't really think it's "for them." BUT, they have totally agreed to go to the B-Ball game this Saturday. I am pumped to see what comes out of it. I am taking 4 kids from Snider. Please pray for opportunities and strength. I need wisdom in regards to handling certain situations that could possibly come up. I am only excited, but I know how powerful prayer is. Please keep me in mind. As far as I know, I am taking Dijon, Clint, Adam, and Nolan. Prayer for them would be SWEET!

So, after Snider I hiked by butt on over to IPFW for a serious study session. I did a lot of reading, note taking, typing, and studying. It was amazing!This is a picture of me taking a 15 second stretch. Ohhh man I could have stretched a mile, but I would have had to gone and picked myself up. HA! That's funny!! I am in a really good mood, and I did some work on my persuasive speech for Comm 114 on Tuesday. The thesis is "Something as simple as awareness can help to motivate change." The speech is over Multiple Sclerosis. I am going to inform, and make people aware of the disease and what it can do. Not so that they go out and start fund raising for the National M/S Society, but so they are aware of what the disease is. This way in the future if M/S ever comes up, they can talk about it intelligently, and understand what it is all about. I think awareness is how change really happens. That's just my opinion though. :-)

Good Night!

another beautiful day

It was so so so so nice outside today. They called for rain, but it held off just like good weather does.
When I looked outside I saw a man in a tree. Now I know this picture isn't very good or clear, so I should have circled him. BUT if you look closely there is a man in that pine tree cutting it down from the top. He was quick and very good at what he did. I just don't understand why my neighbor wants to cut it down. Anyways, My beautiful and talented sister Merideth came over for din din.I love this girl so much, I don't even know how to put it into words. It seems like, though, when I do put it into words how much I love her, it pushes us apart. So for the pure and simple fact that I want to be a part of her life, I will keep it minimal.

I feel I must give an update.

Sometimes I see stars. My whole vision field just fills up with these tiny shiny particles in my vision. It usually doesn't last longer than 30-45 seconds. It is really strange though. Also, some times my body has these short bursts of tremors. It is mostly contained to my upper body and arms. I am confident in saying my strength is back 100% Tomorrow I get these stitches off my chest, and I am going to get back in the weight room @ IPFW! HUH!

The safest place to be is within the will of God.

God will transform you from within IF you seek Him in all things. It doesn't matter where you come from, what you have done, NONE OF THAT MATTERS. You "just" have to trust that he will provide. It is so tricky, but so simple. I love God so much. I love God more than my parents, my sister, my best friend, myself. I LOVE YOU GOD!

Sometimes prayer is such an abstract concept to me. It's nothing that frustrates me, or anything like that. Sometimes it just seems ABSTRACT: thought of apart from concrete realities, specific objects, or actual instances: an abstract idea. I just came across this quote, I don't know where it is from exactly, but it is so good and when I read it, it just encourages me TONS! You ready for it??? God's answers are wiser than our prayers. So with that being said, it seems so much easier to pray to a God who knows what is best for me above all things. I really, really love praying with other people. It is so comforting to hear the deep thoughts given up to a mighty and amazing God.

Today I spent a lot of time outside. I worked at Pathways doing a lot of policing of the church property. This means I put on a beaterThere is something I really like about working outside in a beater. I don't know if it is my hillbilly roots, or what. But the tan lines are minimal, and I love walking around in the beautiful sun in my Aviators. I have this amazing pair of Aviators. They are the old school kind. Like what people stereotype pilots wearing all the time. THEY ARE SO SWEET!

I went to campus today to talk with a department head about switching from a major in Psychology to one in Intrapersonal Communications.This is a picture of me waiting in the communications office. I don't know if anyone can tell, but I got some sun today. I plan on getting a nice base tan this year. I know last summer I was BURNT LIKE A LOBSTER!!! In fact, if you type in LOBSTER and search it in my BLOG, you can see just how much I burnt myself. OR, you can just CLICK THIS LINK Click the link and see how much I did not learn this lesson. I put no sun screen on today. I am lucky I didn't get burnt. There is this old school Hip Hop song that just turned into PUNK music. It is so funny, but for some reason I can't stop listening to it, I really love the beat they have. I have to share it. CHECK IT

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. C. S. Lewis

Today I directed some traffic in some B-E-A-utiful weather. It was so nice out today, I couldn't hardly stand it. We sang a really awesome song in church today that I haven't sang...or sung....no, it's sang isn't it? Anyways, it is a classic worship song, and it was so powerful, BUT I can't think of what the name of it is.....If I think of it, or someone tells me it, then I will post what it is because it made me cry it has such powerful lyrics to me. You really gotta love it when that much emotion is evoked from a worship song. Man is a fickle kind of entity. We are some crazy mammals here on this big blue ball.

I got a chance to read a bunch from my book Where is God When it Hurts? I have the old and new version of the book, I am reading the old one though. I was told it is actually better. It is a really great read, I like Philip Yancey a lot.

While I was reading this afternoon, I was interrupted by my old neighbor Heather!! She was at her parents house (right across the street) and she was sitting out on the swing in the back yard with her son Caiden. It was funny, because I remember hanging out with her way back when. I use to have such a HUGE crush on her. I remember when she was pregnent with him, I supported her so much with prayer and positive comments. I think she can appreciate it now, and I LOVE to see her little man.I have asked Heather how she was in the past, and she would hesitate and tell me "good." I would not believe her. When I asked today, I really believed her! I know that little one has been a struggle for her, but she is really making it work now. I am so happy for her and Caiden. I can say for sure Heather has really learned from experience.

I went to Collateral, and Lynn came and it was a really good night. I enjoyed the message so much, it was just very good timing, and meaningful. We dug into 2 Timothy 2, and I mean we really dug into it. I was able to see and understand things I never saw before. IT WAS AWESOME! You really have no other option but to DIG into this one. It is pointless, because you just won't "get it" otherwise.

IRAQ was a MISTAKE! We complain about losing 4,000 American soliders, do we have any idea what we have caused over there?!?!? I think there would have been less loss of life if Saddam was still in power. It is so hard to understand why.....

I will never support Barack Obama for the pure and simple fact that Oprah supports him. She is a huge voice for him, and he gladly takes the millions of dollars she raises for him, MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS! It would not surprise me one bit if she put her ideology onto him, and AHHHHHH FALLEN WORLD!!! See what Oprah is all about We must be AWARE!!!! Please be informed, and tell your friends. Please pass this on, people must know the TRUTH!

Dont Drink The Kool-Aid: Oprah, Obama and The Occult

I want to forget today

Well, it was such an amazingly nice day today, I decided to do some reading on the porch. SOO NICE! Shelby decided to join me, and she brought all of her toys, one at a time out on the porch. It was pretty funny. I am really digging this book Where is God When it Hurts? by Philip Yancey. It gives incredible insight as to why things are the way they are. I'm really liking it a lot.

This evening my friend Ryan and I went to an art gallery at Lynn's school. The art gallery was awesome! Her friends were not. I acted like a total hypocrite, and actually verbally assaulted one of them out of pure frustration. I immediately felt horrible, and didn't even appologize. It's just that this guy friend that she frequently talks about in such high regard was a complete Jerk, extremely prideful, and swore like a sailor. I was so disappointed, because I wanted him to be mature, and likeable. I'm such an idiot for the way I treated him, I told him he wasn't intelligent because of the way he spoke, and that it offended me. I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth as soon as they exited......but I said it, and then I was chastised by him and his friends for saying it. Once it got completely awkward, Ryan and I left (Ryan and I took our friendship to the next level tonight though, WHICH WAS AWESOME!). This all took place in her dorm room by the way. I called her and apologized, the whole time she was telling me she was sorry for how Matt(her friend) spoke. I'M AN IDIOT! I bet he holds Christians in real high regard after that one. What a way to share the love of Christ......(deeply disappointed in my actions which were pushed out by frustrations) I would like nothing more than to forget today completely, but I need to learn from this so that is what I need to do.

Evening..instead of Good evening, because it was not that good, it was...."i'm an idiot"

Another movie, a different day

I started off my day at IPFW taking a Spanish placement test. It was so old school, like it came right out of the late 60's. The paper was even really really old. This may have been the first test that I missed EVERY SINGLE QUESTION... ohh well, I could have told them I needed to start over in Spanish anyways. So, the day continued on. The day continued on and I got to spend a lot of it on the couch, which was awesome! In the evening hours I went to see the movie JUNO with a bunch of male Young Life leaders at the dollar theater. It was a really emotional movie for me because it brought up a lot of raw emotions that had to do with adoption and the whole situation. I really thought about my biological mother, and how insanely difficult it must have been. Then I thought about my real moms situation and how horribly difficult it must have been for her as well. It was just really pressing for me for some reason.

We went back to Starbucks for some coffee and had some great talks. I think I freaked them out when I shared my thoughts on the government, and politics. I don't know if they expected that out of me....well it's out there now!

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!

What a day today. I went to Psychology class and as soon as I got out I got started on some work for my communication class. It was cool because I was in "the study mode." I made it HAPPEN! I got a 3 page paper done, an outline with parenthetical documentation of my sources. I am good to go! My speech is gonna be a breeze! After I got all my work done, I got a phone call from one of my old high school friends. We have stayed in contact pretty well, but it wasn't until lately that I have been really interested in rekindeling that bond we use to have. Ya see, the only reason we use to hang out was to smoke dope or drink. WELL, he told me about 1 1/2 to 2 months ago that he is going to quit smoking. HE HAS!! Not only has he quit smoking, but he has revamped his friends. He has an amazing girl friend, and life is "working out" slowly but surely. We met up and saw the movie 21. It was a pretty good movie, or maybe a "so so" movie. Anyways, the good part of the night came when we went to a Starbucks that Nate's (Nate is my friend) girl friend works at to chat and get caught up on things. I snapped this picture, I am so sneaky.Nate was honest with me and he said some pretty amazing things to me. He told me on the way to Starbucks that a while ago when we would hang out spiratically, he would be motivated to change and better himself. He said that just being around me would change his outlook on things. I was fighting back the tears as I hear this, and of course our conversation was lead to Christ. He kept saying that "I" have been making some amazing changes in my life, and that he really respected me for it. I reminded him that it is Grace by Faith, and it is nothing that "I" have done. We had some really good and healthy GOD talk. Such an uplifting and encouraging thing for me. Also, @ 10:55, right before Starbucks closed I got a phone call from Dijon (D) and we talked, he said the reason he didn't come on the morning on Tuesday was because he went to the funeral of a young man who was recently shot and killed. There have been many homicides down in the ghetto lately, all gang related. It scares me because D lives right in the middle of all of this. I wish so badly I could just protect him....but it just doesn't work that way. I have to remember to be diligent with my prayers and just love the heck out of him.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner was a quote from the movie 21, in case ya'll didn't know. :-)

NIGHT!!

Geo Cashing anyone?

So I started off my day working for Pathways. I tried to pick up 21 computer monitors, but when I got there the guy said he couldn't release them...I turned around and did some work around the church building. I did some lawn clean up and stuff of the sort, this was a "LIVE ACTION SHOT." When I was working, I was thinking about what was going to go on this afternoon the whole time. Tom (Young Life Staff) and I were going to take a group of kids that stayed home for Spring Break Geo Cashing! I was expecting a fairly good turn out of people, so I was nervous about having too many kids in my car. So I stepped out of my comfort zone and asked John (guy I work for) if I could borrow the Church van for the evening. HE SAID YES! So extremely motivated to get going I set out to the High School parking lot to meet up with Tom and let him know what all was going on. I had spent a while getting things printed off, so that it could be fun for the 2 groups of people to find and work towards these Geo Cashe sites. I have gotten "VIBES" from Tom right from the get go that he wasn't going to really be into the activity, but I suppose he was trying. Let's see, 8 kids ended up showing up, 5 girls & 3 guys. My team was composed of 2 guys & 2 girls. 1 of the guys on my team was Ray, who is a guy I have been bringing to Club a lot. He doesn't quite fit in with the "usual" crowd, so it was awesome to see him treated as an essential part of the group. Both teams had 6 potential sites on their lists. My team found 4 out of 6, Tom's team found 1 out of 6. My team couldn't find one because the area was under water from flooding. The last item on our list we had some difficulty because of a creek some of us fell into & other reasons. I kept a really positive attitude the whole time, and it really motivated the kids to FIND THE CACHE!Once they found the first one, they were hooked! We would find little trinkets & stickers and all sorts of fun stuff in the boxes. We had a clip board and everyone had like a designated task. I had so much fun doing this!This last picture was taken at the site of our hardest Geo Cash of the day. It was in a commentary, and we could not figure it out for the life of us! I had mis-printed one of the clues on the paper that held all the information (coordinates, story, hints, clues, etc.) for the "CACHE" or item. This is when one of the girls said, "can't you look it up on your phone?" I said, "umm i'm not sure if the internet on my phone would work correctly on that site." But I tried it out anyways, AND IT WORKED!!! Now the only thing I need to go Geo Cashing is my phone and a GPS system! I LOVE LEARNING NEW THINGS ABOUT MY PHONE!! So anyways, I got onto the site and found this specific Geo Cash information for the one we were on. Below is what I opened up from my phone. This was the extra help we needed in order to find the CACHE

This cache is located in a cometary, please be courteous of the surroundings.

You are looking for a very well hidden ammo can. Please be very careful with the cache and it's hiding spot, and put it back exactly as you found it so that other cachers can enjoy the cache as well!

Any pictures that give away the nature of the cache will be removed promptly.

Have Fun and Good Luck!

Additional Hints ( Encrypt )

Decryption Key A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M ------------------------- N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z (letter above equals below, and vice versa)

You do NOT need to climb the fence to get to this cache!

I had everything printed out on the paper, EXCEPT for the "Additional Hint" which was just what we needed in order to find the item. It was so cool too, we searched high and low and were starting to get frustrated when one of the Girls, "Ashley" was standing by the fence, she was probably thinking, "humm it can't be outside this fence, and we have looked everywhere except on this fence, so maybe....." AHH HA! She lifted up the cap to one of the steel fence posts, and there it was! You can see her proudly holding it in the last picture posted! It was so neat, and we all were so excited to see it. VICTORY!!! What a great day I had today. Also, my best friend Jared got me 5 free tickets to see the Mad Antz play on Saturday the 12th. I can't wait to see what Young Life guys I am going to take to the game with me....hummmmm who should it be?

mature decision today

I went to class, where I was able to write my own notes. This is amazing because everything except for my right middle finger is completely back to normal. I notice it isn't back to the way it was when I shift. My middle finger slips to the right of the shifter. It is just one of those odd things that I notice. After class I tried to pick up Dijon (D) from his house to take him out to lunch. We had this all planned out yesterday and he promised me that he set his alarm and would be up and ready. Well I got to his house.......all the way on the other side of Fort Wayne, and called him and he was no where to be found. It was super frustrating, but God has it in his grips.


I met up with Josh (Young Life district leader) at Chipotle to "talk." We covered all kinds of information. Lots of really good stuff, and he ran some things by me that really opened my eyes. The biggest one was about Lynn. I came to the decision, with a little help realizing what I already thought from Josh. I need to ssslllloooowwwww down. There is no race, anything good relationally is done through patience and perseverance . I really want to know who Lynn is as a friend, and that is what I spoke to her about. The conversation went amazing, and we can just start with the basics, and a lot of group activities. It's not about doing what makes me happy, it's about doing what is relationally correct in Christ. There can be no rushing this.

Tomorrow Tom and I are taking a bunch of Young Life kids GeoCashing! I am going to borrow the van from Pathways and this is going to be amazing!

I'm really happy. I feel like I could be close to an organized balance of life for right now.