DAVE CHURCH, and football @ Phill's

I had a great day today. It was a day where God really revealed himself through people who have been in my life for quite some time. I dunno, the Spirit really spoke through Dave tonight at Dave church. It was really good stuff. Check this out. Dave explained the matter of Love in such a way that he said People, who are void of love, serve simply as the conduit. The example he gave was of the pipes hooked up to your toilet. You do your business on the toilet but never think about the pipe that delivers the 'stuff' to wherever it needs to go (ie. water filtration plant, etc.). I think where he was going with this was that if you didn't have the pipes, which would be the LOVE, the toilet would have no purpose. You would just be sitting in crap. A human loving without Christ being at the center, would only serve to send out love void of meaning and substantialness. It made a lot of sense in my head when he said it, sorry if I didn't explain it too well. If you are a new reader, and don't know what Dave Church is. Well, just search this BLOG. Type in the words, Dave Church, and check out what it is. I think the picture explains it all.... ;-)

The main focus of the message was around Romans 12:9, even more after 9, but mostly in 9. In the Message translation of the BIBLE it says this. --->"Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it." Geeze, this is so friggin true. If you are not loving in a genuine way, what is the point??? The more Jesus you let in, the more capable you are to love EVERYONE in the most impacting and sincere way possible. When I say everyone, I mean the people in your life who you never thought possible to love, EVERYONE! This is a bold statement, but I say it proudly with assurance of it's truth. Humans are not capable of love without Christ. When the center of an individual is all Jesus, love abounds infinitely.Then we got to talking about communion. Wow, some good stuff came out tonight. Communion all too often comes off as this action you take, because...well, everyone else at church does it. When in reality, communion is a sacred and EXTREMELY IMPORTANT act done through Christ, in rememberence of Christ and what he did. For an individual to partake in the act of communion, without any intention of living out those promises and changes that they "feel" need to take place, well, put it down and pray. Communion should be something that signifies a follower in Christ is taking the step in being fully alive in Christ. Death to yourself, life in Christ. Philippians 1:21 NIV says, For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Apostle Paul said it quite perfectly, in 1 Corinthians 15:55 "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" I friggin love it, I am so at that point. Dang, devotion to something as powerful and mighty as the great Lord Jesus Christ, just brings me to a new level. It just makes me want to change every bit of my being. Not just think about it, but MAKE IT HAPPEN!! I have this verse hanging up in my bathroom. Titus 2:13-14 while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. It is so good people. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light. Just believe in him, and accept everything he wants for you, and the reward is great. The way God honors obedience is mighty and powerful!!! You just have to take a step out of the normal comfort zone. I write this with a smile on my face.These two pictures show how my evening ended. I took Rachel, Dave's daughter home from her brother Phil's house. Phil is laying down in the top picture with the dog. Twas a good night. Saw the Vikings hose the Bears. And, had some fun with Phil, and his bro John, and their sister Rachel, and phil's wife Julie. Twas a real good night. I have also decided to share something extra tonight. I am going to share a poem I wrote for my English class. I have never shown anyone except my Prof and parents up until this point. I will briefly explain it, then leave the rest up to you. I wrote this poem as though I was my sister Merideth. The first paragraph is how I view my sister thinking about her own life. The second paragraph is how I view my sister views my life. Take what you want, think what you will. It is a lot of bare honesty. Also, my sister is a lesbian.

A letter written in the stance of my sister. My life is her life. Your life is my life.

To my life:

Once long and luscious, my hair exists now, only of short pointed strands. Hateful eyes penetrate the soul; I walk past with my head hung low. I crave acceptance as though it is a necessity of life. How can I be something they tell me I’m not? Your forgotten remarks from high school have hindered my ability to feel anything real. How could a loving God allow me to go through “those things?” Relationships are a painful game of back stabbing and defeat. The acquiescent loss of my sexuality is greatly outweighed by the favor I gain from friends. An understanding of my biological heritage does little to sooth the pain I continually evade. Success is a low rating based on the amount of inner pain I feel on a weekly basis. I can’t understand why sincere love is so accepting of me. I am to be taken advantage of; I question my worth on a daily basis. My merit is a deprecating value compounded by my lack of self understanding. I facilitate the pain in my struggle by not allowing Truth near me. The death I fill my lungs and liver with are a temporary relief at best. Love is a lustful and destructive force that never satisfies.

To your life:

Your genuine smile does much to ease my blighted position. I feel your words are sincere. Your hug gives me strength, unexplainable by words. Your eyes aren’t haughty or demeaning. Your life is an appealing, unattainable frustration. Your Truth is an abstract reality. Your love is impractical. Sincerity and gentleness is what you project to my kind. Your personal stance does little to affect your underlying behavior. You love me, no matter how my actions shame you.

mobile YUMness

ohhh mobile blogging, how i do love thee. You tuck me in late at night and love me tenderly. You soothe me with the tender grasp of you unfailing love, and with me not will I outlast the caress of your butter cup..... I have no idea what i'm saying, but......mobile blogging rocks when i'm too tired to power up the ole lap top. I finished a 6 page paper today about Office Space, then worked out @ the YMCA, then stepped out on a limb & called my friend Ryan and hung out with Ryan & Tom who are fellow Young Life people as well as my friend Zach. If you ~~CLICK THIS LINK~~ you will see who I am talking about. Then on my way home I stopped by my sister Brandy's house and watched a little T.V. and played some Grand Theft Auto 4. Twas a good day. :-)

-Grace&Peace

living, breathing, impacting word of God

Well, the update for MONDAY was just completed. If you want to go and check it out, you can see what I put myself through on that long, long, long, long day of ahhhhhhh!! :-) ~~CLICK ME~~ for a direct link to the day where time did not stand still.Once I got around today(2:00PM), I plugged in the DVD player and put in the movie Office Space. This act was not done by my interest in the movie alone, no no, it was done because I have a paper that is due on Tuesday over the movie. In my OLS class, I am to write a 5-8 page paper about the different ideas, models and descriptions discussed in class or in the book this semester that are played out in the movie. It is kind of a stupid assignment, but an easy one to say the least.

Well, when I decided that I had watched enough of the movie and needed to go work out at the YMCA to get rid of some of the food I overdid myself with the past 2 days, I did just that. Here was my plan......Go work out, shower, go to school's 24 hour student computer lab & write paper, go home. Well, I went and worked out, but when I got to the 24 hour lab, I realized I forgot my notes for the paper. SO, instead of writing, I went to the tanning bed.

I went home and did my BSF studies.Through my BSF study I was very impacted by Romans 12:1 in a new way. Seriously, I have read this verse many many times before. But this time, it really impacted me. I have to write out this verse.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship."

Now after reading that, I realized that even when something concerning my body doesn't matter to ME, it always matters to God. It goes hand and hand with my FEAR (respect) of God. If I really respect God in the deepest and most meaningful way, then I will obey his command to allow my body to serve as a living sacrifice to Him. A living sacrifice is also brought into a new light as I read and learn about the Ark of the Covenant, and its importance in the lives of the Israelites. My body becomes just as important in real life 2008. All the ways I treat it directly speak my genuineness or the opposite to Christ. This is a brave and impacting lesson I have learned from a verse I have read a million times. Thank you God for showing me new things on an old verse.

I am fully prepared to share

Yes, it is Thanks Giving, and I am prepared to share this year. I want to bring you the pictures that explain the season. This year it went a little differently. Here is last year Ya see, last year and the year before it, and the year before it, and it and it and it have all been at my parents house. This year things were done differently. The majority of the reason goes to the fact that my mom just different want the stress of making everything happen at our house. SO, she found a catering business that was on the property of our friends parents house's barn or something like that. It worked out super well, and here is what I have to share.

There was so much food!!

There was so much family!!

There was of course, so many wonderful little children. I choose to spend the majority of my time with the little ones. They love me and I love them. I am going to make an awesome father some day. There are many men in my family that I can look to if I ever need an example. :-)

There was so much awesome desserts!!

You gotta have the football! I fell asleep while listening to it. I woke up with Ava the 2nd newest family member woke me up when she was crying.

The little ones had a talent show. He He He, it was so funny because if the little kids went up and showed off (sang, tap danced, just stood, or did anything cute) they got a special yummy cookie.

Then, it all had to come to an end. It was clean up time. All good things come to an end though. We cleaned up, we packed left overs, we gave the little ones Xes and O's. I have so much to be thankful for.

Wednesday before Turkey day

Kinda lame today. I went to Snider, even though we didn't have Young Life tonight. I am constantly out of the loop...because I am horrible at remembering all things BIG and small. Work was kind of depressing because I was told to go home early....even though the site director and I already discussed the hours I would be leaving early. Now the people in charge of time decisions are saying NO!! LESS & LESS HOURS!!!! I am thinking, "any less hours and it won't be worth me coming in." I called my dad and we decided it is time to start looking for another job. This is very very sad because I love my job. I am starting to make real and sweet relationships with the kids, and YMCA childcare are being very unwise. They are going to loose good workers who care about those kids (ME!) and replace them with people who just need a job. They told us in training about how important consistancy is with the kids, and now they are cutting hours left & right when we have more than enough kids at our site to pay for our workers....... Very frustrating, and FRUSTRATING!! The part that is the most frustrating is the fact that I am going to have to look for a new job. God will take care of it, he always has, and I trust that. It just makes me feel very unappreciated. I put in crazy hours for those kids for very little pay, and they want to cut my hours??? What the heck. I am sorry, but it is just very frustrating.

Here is a stupid survey I filled out.

1.	What is your occupation right now	Childcare (for now)
2.	What color are your socks right noW?	don't have any on
3.	What are you listening to right now?	a fan blowing
4.	What was the last thing that you ate?	cheese tortilla
5.	Can you drive a stick shift?	Yes, i own one
6.	Last person you spoke to on the phone?	my sister Merideth
7.	Do you like the person who sent this to yoU?	Yes, though I have never met him in person
8.	How old are you todaY?	21
9.	What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?	N/A
10.	What is your favorite drink?	Orange Juice
11.	Have you ever dyed your hair?	Yes, high school was a crazy time for me.....
12.	Favorite food?	JACKS frozen pizza
13.	What is the last movie you watched?	Crank
14.	Favorite day of the year?	i have no idea
15.	How do you vent anger?	internalize, pray, call parent
16.	What was your favorite toy as a child?	Legos

17.	What is your favorite season?	Fall (love those leaves)
18.	Cherries or Blueberries?	Cherries
19.	Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?	Yes
20.	Who is the most likely to respond?	Not my dad
21.	Who is least likely to respond?	my dad
22.	Living arrangements?	Mom & Pop's [got it good, even though society tells me I am a loser :-) ]
23.	When was the last time you cried?	I don't remember, probably during a sad movie
24.	What is on the floor of your closet?	shoes
25.	Which friend do you share the same age with?	ummmm, I am one of the younger
26.	What did you do last night	watched Crank with Tony
27.	What are you most afraid of	No fear here
28.	Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers	CheeseBurger
29.	Favorite dog breed	Golden Retriever
30.	Favorite day of the week?	Wednesday
31.	How many states have you lived in?	Well, MI for a while, and Arizona for a month, the rest here in IN.
32.	Diamonds or pearls	screw um
33.	What is your favorite flower ? -	Petunias

You want a picture of me right now, here it is!!I should have a better attitude. I really do trust God with my job and all that is involved with it. I just feel snubbed that's all. It is not a good feeling at all.

gonna take me a bit of a break

Okay, there is no English paper to write, there is no school related mountain to climb....so when I get out of work tomorrow...I might just come back home and go to sleep. YEP, you heard it. I am gonna sleepy.

I actually had time to go and talk to a lady about beads today after I got out of work. I talked to her about if she needs anyone to make beads for her(talking about my friend Tony). I took some pictures of some really amazing beads that she has for sale. They look AMAZING!! Tony was impressed.Go TONY GO!!

Tony and I also discussed a ski/snow board trip that is coming up on the 12th of December. It is going to be a lot of fun!!! I can't wait to take pictures and share that exciting adventure. We (like 7 people) are going to stay at my friends house. His name is Garry, and he has a cabin up in Michigan. FUN!!! I am super tired, SLEEPY TIME!!

COMPLETED

HERE IS THE UPDATE, that took a while to....well update.

Today was crazy. Seriously, just crazy. I had pulled an all nighter preparing my final paper for my English class. Now, it was written and all that was accomplished, BUT, I had no idea what it would take for me to get all the individual papers needed for final submittance. It was ridiculous! I was so tired once time for work rolled around, working literally on zero hours of sleep, I stopped at Starbucks, where my friend Clint hooked me up with a white chocolate drink thingy that had tons of caffeine in it. I have no idea what it was, but it sure did jump start my morning.Yes, I do not recommend these kinds of nights to anyone. BUT, it was necessary and the final feeling to know everything was completed and done to the highest ability. Well, it was a good feeling.This is what I turned in to Tom (English Prof.) this morning. WOWZERS!! There was a lot of time and effort put into that thing. Well worth it though. We will find out on Monday I believe what grade I got, or shortly after Monday.Well, when I got done, I could tell my body just wanted to crash. My brain would not let me though because of all the caffeine that was surging through my veins. I went and visited my dad at work, and hung out for a bit. I went tanning, and then home until it was time to go back to work. I was DEAD at work. I could not go to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) because of the fact that it would have been a waste if I did. I would have just passed out during the lecture, so I stayed home and fell asleep at 8:00PM. It felt GOOD!!

write write write

I really like how my papers are going. I know that it is probably not a healthy, or even smart way of doing a project. BUT, I really work well under pressure. It isn't as if I am doing all the preparation and initial research right now, just the writing. I have had the first paper done for a while. I finished the second one early this morning. The third one is almost complete, and I already have all the topics and research material for the fourth one. I am going to visit the Writing Center to get some help on some gray areas of how exactly I cite specific parenthetical citations of a quote within a quote. I tried looking it up in my English book, on the internet, and even in the library, but none could give me a straight answer. So, to the WRITING CENTER I WILL GO!! I wrote and wrote at home for quite some time, but my parents were planning a big party tonight, and I knew it would not be a peaceful environment to write, so I came to the library, worked there till 5:30--when they closed, and now I am finishing up at the 24 hour student lab. It is currently 8:19PM and I am about to go home because I am exhausted. My brain is turning to mush, and I need it to work good tomorrow for the final PUSH!! So I will retire early, and get good sleep tonight. Here are some pictures from the evening.

This picture was taken while I was on top of the parking

garage doing my Bible study.Yep, there is the Bible Study. Nice and cozy in my little

car upon the parking garage. It is such a nice place to
do a Bible study, because I can look out over Fort Wayne
and see all the cars bustle about, while I sit with God and
contemplate his will for me.

And, last but not least here is my little study table area. I have accumulated many papers in this push towards completion. It's very rewarding, but I will be happy when the stress of a looming date is in the fore front of my thoughts.

I'm out like Sour Kraut.

G'Night!

Friday is Typeday.

I went to work, English class, then typed and typed and typed, and searched for scholarly journals, and will do the same for the next 48 hours to complete this English Paper project on How to Love Yourself to be turned in on Monday. The first paper is completely finished, and I love it. The second paper is 85% complete and I am nearly in love with it. The third paper is only 15% complete, but I am super looking forward to writing it and it will be a breeze. The only paper that is slightly "ify" at this point is the fourth paper, and that is only because I am lacking in scholarly research information. But, it will come tomorrow and I will make it work. :-)
We got a little bit of snow today. Hardly any real accumulation, but snow none the less.

God fixed my window today

Well, first things first. I studied my butt off all morning for this test in OLS. Well, maybe "crammed" is more of an appropriate word to explain my study habit today. I actually went in right after work to "study" but fell asleep on a couch in a dark warm area of the Student Union building. The couch looked much like this one.Once I was forced into study mode, I did a good job, and felt thoroughly prepared. I had been taking notes all along in class, so it isn't like I was unprepared. Just not diligently staying up on reading and such. I think I probably got an A.

I also got my car window fixed today.Yes, Mikey Roy from my Bible study fixed me up right and good. I am so happy to have a working window again. :-)
You can see it is in the family of Mikey Roy, but the whole Chevy Mendenhall-Roy Body Shop. Boy, I sure am appreciative of it.

I am so tired..plus 9th infusion

Read, Read, Read, Read, Study, Study, Study, Study for TEST tomorrow. I have had to postpone my English paper for a couple of days. Well, postpone it until after I take my 3rd OLS test tomorrow at 12:30PM.

I went in for my Ninth(9th) infusion of Tysabri today.The chair above was what I sat in for the majority of my morning. I read and read and read for my OLS test. I sat, while the Tysabri coursed through my veins. It is kind of unnerving to think that I could be taken off this medication in 3 months. But, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, things are good.

Young Life was good tonight, but I had no energy. I really had trouble getting into it with the kids. BUT, I was still me. And fun was still ever-present I do believe.Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

preperation for success

I couldn't Embed, but you can click THIS LINK
to see the video that goes with the lyrics.

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
Theres a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
Hes out of work
Hes buying time
all those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah

Ive Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
just move and pass me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone

Chorus (x2)

Every time I hear this song I have this deep desire for every word he sings. I want to love people in a deep and impacting way. Now, the song isn't saying that all people are suffering from a deep and emotional block in their life......but many are, and all need Jesus. I want to be able to do my part to impact that need.

I have not been sleeping good lately. I have been go go go all time time. I am stressing out over this English paper, and I really don't even have a reason to do so. I have everything under control. I just get stressed up about stuff like this.I called the guy from my BSF today while I was in my car doing my bible study. He found a window, and wanted to pay half of the cost. Leaving me only to pay $25....I was blown away. Blown away, because he said he has wanted to do this for weeks.....God is good. I told him I would pay the $50 and he could put it in for free if he so desired. :-) That will take place on Thursday. I have to get a lot done tomorrow. A crap load really. AHHHHHH!!! Wait, wait. Deep breath, calm down. Think clearly, visualize, and pray. Okay, I got this. I will read the chapters for my OLS test tomorrow during the day. That means I will probably skip going to Snider for one day...but I just have to make priorities right now. on Thursday @ 12:30PM I will take the OLS test. Then all Thursday evening, all day Friday, and Friday evening, then all morning afternoon and night on Saturday as well as the same on Sunday I will finish up my Papers for English...which is due on Monday. I got this though. Most of it is finished, I just have to finish up the fine tuning, and add in all the scholarly sources. No prob, I got this.

But a little PRAYER never hurts. PLEASE PRAY FOR MY STUDIES.

I think I will bow at my bed tonight for prayer time, out of reverence.

Not as exciting, but WOW!!

I had a terrifically wondrous day today. JAM PACKED, and I had to take a nap to catch up on some sleep I missed out on the night before, but sweet. Work, then computer, then work, Verizon store to fix phone, then BSF!! BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) was what set my day apart. Listen to this.

I was planning on asking this guy in my small study group if he could give me a quote on my window because he does body work. Well, when discussion got over, he approached me and said this, "Hey Mikey, I know a couple of weeks back you said you had gotten into a fender bender, and I just wanted you to know that if you get the piece, I would be more than happy to put it on for free." My jaw dropped because I was just going to ask him if he could quote my window. I told him I don't care about the fender, but the window was my main priority. He said he would make some calls, and that I am to call him tomorrow. HA!!! God did that, because......well......how the heck else could something like that happen??? Seriously, how else does something get perfectly set up like that? I LOVE IT!!!! and I am so going to bed now. After BSF, I went and worked out at the YMCA. I could have totally gotten in the Hot Tub with some ladies that hardly had much on (tiny bathing suites), but I decided to take my BSF notes that I got tonight and read them in the sauna. It hurts sometimes to do the right thing, when every part of the world is telling you to do otherwise. But I am a firm believer that GOD HONORS OBEDIENCE!!!!!!

Now today, today was the crazy day!!

The day started off by me sleeping in pretty late on my Sunday. When I awoke, I found that my father had gone out and gotten some Plexiglas's for my window that had been smashed to smithereens (ity bity pieces). I explained this on yesterday's post at the very bottom. Well, my dad hooked me up by going and buying this thing for me. Check it out.There are still little pieces of glass down in areas that I can't reach in the middle of my door. No matter though, It is keeping me warm, and that is all that matters. Well, once I got up and around to doing stuff, I went straight to DAVE CHURCH!!! I did this because I knew that my friend Richard was back with new teeth, and I was super excited to see them. CHECK OUT THESE NEW FLOSSIES!!Ohhh boy did the whole experience go perfectly. Richard really experienced God in everything. From the flight there, to how he viewed and was treated by people. When he talked about his experience, he just radiated God out of every part of his body. IT WAS AWESOME!!

Well, as soon as Dave church got over, I went to school to work on my paper. Worked and worked and worked is what I did. When it got to 11PM, I had to leave the library.....but something told me it was not time to go home yet. I drove to the top of the parking garage..which I do often when I want to do my Bible study. And, when I finished that, something told me to go to the gas station I went to a while back that I was afraid to talk to specific guys at. In fact ~~THIS LINK~~ will take you to the post where I felt that I "failed" by talking about Jesus. Well, this time was different. I had a heart for Jesus. It was so cool. I got some hot coa coa, and posted outside and waited.I talked to every person who went in, and then came out. I asked people how they were, and if I could talk with them for a minute. For some people, I just asked if they needed prayer for any parts of their life. Some people blew me off, and stated quite clearly, "naw man, I don't need that shit." Others stopped, and said with a heavy heart, yes, and explained what.

• Brian would like prayer for himself & family
• Lady in the red car who thought I was a Jehovah's witness
• Dominique (male), and his son Quinden & daughter Tanasia
• There was man who told me about his mother Deborah who recently had a stroke, and his two children Demontru & Algemeitra

Then of course, there was Dennis (store clerk). We had probably 1.5 hours of good conversation. He is amazingly smart. Like astrophysics smart, and it shows. He believes Jesus was a real dude, but Son of God.....nawwww. I had fun loving him, and I don't think this will be the last time I will see him.Good ole Dennis. I really had fun talking with him.

Okay, so I am so full of the Spirit, I am about to explode! I am kind of hungry as I drive home at ohhh 1:45AM, so I stop at a Walgreen's to get some Cheetos. I talk to the lady pictured above. Her name was Jamie. I zoomed in on the picture on my phone and remembered it. Well, this was really a God ordained moment. Because we got to talking about how it is so essential to obey God when he tells you to do something. She told me this story of when she obeyed God. WOW!!!! It was amazing and quite powerful. I was on FIRE after I got to hold hands with her and left that store. Literally laughing for joy as I drove home, just totally pumped for God. It was a beautiful thing. :-)

AHHHHHHHH!!! then into a good day

It is Saturday morning, I got onto campus to the 24/7 computer lab at about 7:10AM.What got me out of bed so early on a Saturday morning? Well, to be perfectly honest, my cousin Matt did. He had mandatory overtime at work, and I told my dad I would take him. I did this with the thought that I needed something to get my butt out of the house early to get working on my paper, since I neglected to do so yesterday. I am super frustrated right now. It is 10:58AM, and I have not gotten much accomplished. This paper for my English class needs to be 22-26 pages long. BUT, it is broken into 4 individual papers based around one main topic. My main topic is "How to love yourself." The four individual papers are...1.) Loving yourself in Christ 2.) The golden rule 3.) Loving yourself through difficulties and pain and 4.) I have no idea yet....

I feel so strongly about this topic, but I am having one (excuse me) HELL OF A TIME PUTTING IT ALL INTO WORDS!!!!All of my ideas are based around the teachings of Christ. I know how to live them all out. I just am having a ton of trouble writing them all down in an intelligent and scholarly way. This is horrible, I love to wright, but this paper is making me despise it.

It is now 11:05AM, I merged into the library, and I am now taking a break to BLOG out some frustration real quick. DARN THIS PAPER!!! I should have chosen a topic that was shallow and meaningless to me. Not really, but I am frustrated like crazy right now. I think I am going to take a break at 11:30 for lunch where I will eat, pray, and go back to a place of writing that appears more to be an external expression (writing) of an internal emotion (the love I carry for myself and others) I really am full of. I'm just glad i'm not full of, well.....you know.......SHIT.

So after I typed for what seemed like an enternety(10 hours) I heeded a physical break. So I went to go tanning. It was relaxing and I nodded off a couple of times while I was in there.When I left there I planned on going home, picking Matt up(my cousin) and taking him downtown like we had discussed this morning when I dropped him off for work.....BUT, apparently matt had other ideas. Which is perfectly fine, because the man in 29 years old, and the decision making is all on his side. BUT, my father and I both inconvienced ourselves for him.....which again, is perfectly okay. Matt & I talked about it and we are both going to work on better communication.

Well, I still wanted to go to the movie. So I had some time to kill since VERIZON didn't have time to update the software on my phone (it has old software from April 17th which causes it to randomnly shut off), so I went to target to waste some time.While I was there I decided to do a little promotional advertisiging of my own. I still have this graphing calculator for sale, and I am not getting any interest on it. SO.........Call or text
60-433-1543
for a gently used
TI-84 Plus, no
wire or CD for $60

Now, I am not stupid, and the probability that someone will actually call or text me is really low. Chances are someone will think that it is stolen or something worse and won't go for it. But, hey, if someone wants to save $50 on a perfectly good calculator that has additional video games on to it, they need to just give me a call!!!

Even though my cousin was not with me, I still wanted to go to the movie.The movie was amazing, and everyone should see, or rent on DVD Transsiberian!!! Just trust me, it is action packed and you never know what to expect!!! It rocks hardcore.

Well, after this I still had to go to a party put on by my best friend and his roommates. AHHH!!! This is where the "problem" Started. I went, I enjoyed the "ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW" themed party, and it was.....well weird.If you don't know or care what The Rocky Horror Picture Show is, then don't worry about these pictures...and don't judge me. But if you do know what it is, then just SOAK ALL THIS UP!!!Well, since I was not drinking, the one in the middle, Marty asked me if I would go and pick up some of his friends. I of course agreed, and went to go get them. They were all, already drunk. Robbie (one of the friends) was super drunk and not ready to get in the car because he wanted to finish his beer. I said it would be perfectly okay, and went inside to wait with them. I was pre-occupied and guess what I did........................I locked my keys in my car. OOOPS!!! Long story short, robbie tried to help, but shattered my window. The first thing I said after it shashed all over the ground, seat, floor, and everything was this, very calmly I said, "well, I can take you guys to the party now, door's open." He was super upset, and I said no big deal let's just get going. That was my day. And just because I was the Designated Driver doesn't mean I don't have my deamons of my own. They come in all different shapes and sizes. :-)

God Bless!!