Dear Louisa,
I have been meaning to write to you little one. Ever since I
learned about you, even while you were still in your mommy’s tummy! I have had
so many thoughts and feelings about you. So many thoughts, at times it was
easier to ignore them. In 3 weeks, you will be four months old! It feels like
so much has happened so very quickly.
I need you to know that daddy loves you very much. But daddy
is broken little one, just like your little heart is broken. Except daddy’s
broken is different than yours. Daddy is afraid, daddy is nervous about being a
daddy to such a special little wonderful girl. Louisa, I hope that someday you
can forgive me for being so scared, and for trusting God so little. You can’t
even speak yet, and God has used you to speak great truths to Daddy.
Little girl, I found out yesterday that you are going to be
having a surgery soon. In 7 weeks, doctors are going to fix your little broken
heart. When I found out, I was so afraid! But then I felt something, maybe for
the first time. I felt pure joy about you. I was not afraid, I was excited for you and your future. I didn't see limitations for the first time, I saw a gift. You are my little gift Louisa! Then friends, and families, and even
strangers started to support your mommy and daddy, but really, they were
supporting you little one! They prayed for us, and they gave us money to help fix your heart, and It
reminded me that our God is a big God, and a God that cares deeply about all
his children. I am so very excited to teach you about our God one day little
girl. God has taught me that I do not need to be afraid for you anymore. I do
not need to fear what your future may hold. I do not need to feel sorry for
you, or for myself. God is in control.
Thank you, precious baby, for teaching me. Daddy loves you
so much, and is going to love you and support you and help you to reach your
dreams. You are loved little warrior, and you will do great things for Daddy
and God’s kingdom. You already have.
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