Monday, December 31, 2007

It's New Years EVE

I like to live my life as an open book because it provides me with accountability and allows me to look back and remember things I may have otherwise forgotten. But, the only negative part is living as an open book allows people to see your strengths and weaknesses. After the wedding reception on Saturday, I went back to my friend Jason’s house. I was with ole high school chums, and totally justified drinking until I couldn’t walk straight. It was a mistake, and I believe it takes away from my witness and on a more personal level it takes a little bit away from my self worth. The good news is, I am forgiven and won’t let it stand in the way of bettering myself. This morning I woke up and went to 6AM Bible study, I told the guys what I did and how it made me feel. It was healthy for me not to have to keep it bottled up inside. Then I went home and cleaned up the house. My mom and pops are in Tennessee for New Years, so I decided to clean my mom’s car to surprise her with a gleaming ride when she gets home. Amidst all the cleaning and vacuuming I came across my book, “The Masters Plan for Evangelism.” It was so awesome and strange. I decided to clean that car just to be nice, and then BAM, I find this awesome book I have been looking for. Maybe I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to read the rest of that book before. I do know that I am super glad I found it, and even more glad that God offers GRACE!There it was just hiding under the passenger side seat. It must have gotten dropped back there one morning when my mom was giving me a ride to work.

The rest of the day went as follows.....
I went to gymnastics practice, the girls are nervous for their first meet on Thursday, which they very well should be because they aren't prepared and don't take the attendance policy seriously so only 2 out of 11 are competing. I wasn't planning on doing anything until my friend Jorden called me and asked if I wanted to come over and hang with him and some other guys from my high school. Not like guys that I hung out with, but Christian guys that I was very cool with. In high school I mostly hung out with the druggies and so fourth. So, it was really nice to be able to go to Jordens house and watch the IU vs. OSU game that was in Arizona.


It wasn't anything like last years New Year, but I enjoyed it, and I don't regret anything. I have made my mind up on what my resolution is and feel confident about keeping it. It's going to be a great year, this 2008. I can tell already.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

nothing but lazy

Today was a lot a bit of lazy followed by some nothing. I laid around the house & was uber bord. I finally got myself up and around to go to Collateral at Brookside, but when I showed up at 7:30, there were no cars in the parking lot. I guess I didn't get the MEMO that collateral wasn't going on over break. hummmmmmm I found some pictures off of Face Book that people added of me. Thought I would share them. Darn good looking guys!
I told you, the guy doesn't have much to him. It is his wedding night, no facial expression whatSOever.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

congrats to Megan & Andy


me * Britt (my date) I know she is beautiful!! Love you Britt!
Crazy Joel with his arms up. Glad he could add a little bit of character to the otherwise boring picture. The reception was fun, the Eichels were zuper drunk. And the happy couple. Yes, this is Andy's happy face.... 20 & 21 years of age. I wish them many, many years of happiness together. But through the wedding and reception I couldn't help but think, "why the heck are these two married?" It could have a little something to do with the fact that I want a serious relationship. Why can't I feel so strongly about someone that I want to get married? I know, I know & I am trusting for the right time and place. But the feelings are there and they are strong feelings.

It was fun to see friends from High school and all that jazz. All in all, it was a nice wedding.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Today is Friday

(posted @ 8:24 AM)
This morning showed me the perfect example of Christian men living out their faith and it was a POWERFUL act to be a part of. So, we met up at the house a little after 6AM. We sat down, chatted a little bit and then spoke about one of the members who hasn't been showing up this week. It isn't necessary to say why, but he has just been struggling with some big issues. Instead of falling on his faith and Christian friends, he has been stuffing the emotions and issues down deeper within himself. SO, we (group of 4 guys) collectively made the decision to go to his house and confront him with prayer. As soon as we showed up we started laying hands on his home and praying he would pick up his phone. 5-10 minutes later he did, and he came to the front door and let us in. We laid hands on him and prayed fervently. The Holy Spirit took over, it is so powerful! It kind of reminded me of a mission trip to Mexico I took when I was much younger. In the Spanish culture, they pray out loud in large groups of people. I use to think it was so confusing, now I feel the power in all the words. I don't have to hear or take in the words, they aren't for me. But knowing that prayers are being sent to my heavenly father on my behalf is something that is so strengthening. PRAISE GOD! This is what Christian men should do. This act should not be kept still, it needs to happen more often. I don't want to be a stale Christian. It was such a unique and powerful feeling. You don't have to go to Africa and see all the aids victims to stir up your spirituality, just find someone in need and love them.
Gymnastics practice was cancelled because of possible “bat weather.” I said it was a bad idea, and also said that the roads weren’t going to get bad. They didn’t, and that is just one more practice the girls are missing out on. ~SIGH~ I am just disappointed because I don’t have anyone to hang out with that is fun for me. I hung out with my best friend and his g/f, but they smoke and there was constant bad language, and it just gets me down. I really wish I could find a guy that I could relate to that would just be fun to hang out with. Maybe once I get back into class again. YEAH!!!

I feel like the lonely wolf howling in the wind, waiting for a reply. I’m not complaining, I am just saying how I feel at the moment. It is blatant truth.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Step 1, COMPLETED

Once I woke up this morning I called IPFW (local university) admissions office and scheduled an appointment for me to come and speak with an advisor for 2:30PM. I went over and sat down with a lady named Maria and got everything set up. I enrolled in the Psychology department and the funny thing that I just realized is on the little piece of paper where it asked what course of study will you be interested in? I put “Psycology,” so I am off to a good start. LOL. I feel really confident with my decision, and I am being extremely proactive and taking all the measures I need to take in order for the school to work around my disability. I am going to take advantage instead of “for granted” of all the affirmative action programs available to me. I believe that getting back in school will be extremely difficult and a huge task. But, I have proven track record of taking monumental challenges head on and not giving in. I feel really good about my decision, and I am even a little bit excited to get back into the class setting. I have a big smile on my face right now as I am writing this. When I was taking classes at IPFW before, I wasn’t motivated for anything. I didn’t have any direction or reason for being there. Now, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. This was a really good decision. Now the challenge is keeping this mind set when the “going gets tough.”

We had a good practice at gymnastics. I am super sore though. And I noticed that at one point, after spotting a girl I started seeing stars for a bit. I took a deep breath, and waited for things to feel normal again. I wonder if this is typical? I also found a really great online chat group that is constantly online. It is an MS support group, and it is a great place to get questions answered. very informative and helpful.

I am looking forward to Bible study tomorrow. I also found out that if you press the shift button 5 times, it brings up something called "sticky keys." It is crazy the things you find out just by randomly doing things. HA!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I love it!

So, today I could have laid around and been really lazy. I didn't have anything that I "had" to do; so what was keeping me from being super lazy? Maybe it was an inward voice, or possibly just a longing to better myself. I woke up super early and made it to Bible study at 6AM. This paid off quite nicely, and I was filled with the word of God, which strengthened my witness & spirit. It does so much good for the inward being to be able to be around like minded individuals. It really does. When I got home I worked out, and read a bit out of this new book I am attempting to read and comprehend. It is called The Knowledge of the Holy, by A.W. Tozer.As I am reading it, I feel like it is above my level of comprehension. SO, this means I have a bit of a challenge. I find myself reading the same sentence over and over again, but I am high lighting a lot and getting something out of it. I am going to stick with it, because it will be a good method of comprehension practice and it will challenge me in my spiritual walk.

I watched a bit of Law & Order because I do love that show and then eventually made it to Gymnastics Practice @ 5:30. I LOVE being a coach, I get so much out of it, and I am so thankful Michelle called me up when she found they needed someone. That really makes me feel amazing. I got a chance to go out to eat at Banditos with coaches Michelle, Lori, and her husband. It was so much fun to be a coach talking about coach stuff. Just a great experience. It really was. I feel like I am accomplishing something. The girls are great, and I just want them to do great things.


Such a simple day, yet so fulfilling. Truly fulfilling. You can see Lori and her Hubby to the left. You can see my nose and Michelle's arm to the right. We had a great time, I felt like a grown up. Talking about important things, and giving input about things that actually mattered. "You want my opinion?" It felt so good. So many other things happened today as well.

For my memory's sake. The girl from Centennial called just to ask me how the unveiling of my gifts to my mother and sister went. That was really why she called me. I was so taken by that, I felt extremely blessed to get her phone call. And I really believed that she called because she was genuinely interested about how it went for me and my loved ones. I am SO blessed!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas Jesus

When I hear the word Christmas, shouldn’t I smile and be happy for the life of my savior? I’ll go ahead and answerer that question, yes. Christmas time isn’t special anymore, I feel disgusted when I say that too. CHRISTmas has been so covered up, so transformed. I am dismayed when I read or hear things in the news about people having to say happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas. I do it too though; it is so easy to get caught up in the presents and decorations. I suppose it isn’t wrong as long as the real reason is kept held in high regards. I am so thankful for the life Jesus lead, for the example he gave us and for the gift he gave us. I can’t help but sink back in my chair a little bit when I really think about it.

I did have a good Christmas though, I got to see some an amazing smile on my sisters face when she opened her new phone, and I am like 90% sure my dad liked the new bird feeder I got him. And of course, my mom loved the remote car starter/unlocker I got for her Camry.

I LOVED the game of rummy cube I got to play with my mom & sister. Even with all the distractions, the basics are what always bring me back to the "good love." I am thankful for my family. I am so grateful that God placed me in this family with "good love."

It was a good Christmas.

I also made the decision to get my butt back in School. IPFW starts classes up again on the 14th, I am going to do everything in my power to get back in classes by then. It is going to be cutting it close, but I think I can do it. I am intimidated by school, but I feel like it is what I need to be doing. I can do it, and I can overcome all the obstacles. BAM, I SAID IT!!!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Christmas Eve

videoEvery year my family meets at my Aunt Jackie's house and we all eat, and enjoy each other, and unwrap presents. It use to be very special for me and my sister, but it is very plain to see that I am getting older and now it is time for a new generation of "rug rats" to enjoy the season. We did however, read the story of Christ's birth (read by me) and hopefully remembered a little bit why exactly we celebrate this season. I have some great pictures to share.

These little girls are Aria and Caidence. They belong to my cousin Cassie, and they couldn't be any cuter. This is my grandma unwraping one of her presents. I think it may have been a sweater or something of that sort. It was a happy atmosphere and everyone had a good time. There was great food and a lot of laughs. My uncle Ken was crazy this year, and it brought a whole new side of fun to the table. Some little cuties doing what they do best! I love kids. My cousins are really good at making them too. :-)


I learn through my family that LOVE is so important. You must love before you try to understand a situation or event. If you go into it with love, and keep love in the constant fore front, everything will go a lot better. I am excited I can celebrate the birth of my savior, and appreciate what he did through out his life. I look forward to making my family smile tomorrow. Hopefully I can bring some better quality of pictures to the table tomorrow

Sunday, December 23, 2007

1 shopping day left

My friend Britt can be very stubborn.
She had not taken a chance to wash her hair today, so taking a picture of it was unheard of! I took one anyways. A picture is worth a thousand words. I went over to Britts house after church, I spent the majority of the day over there. I didn't get anything important done, so OF COURSE, my last minute shopping really is right at the last minute.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

it's all good

So, I didn't blog yesterday because Amanda & I went and saw Sweeny Todd. The new musical/movie with Johney Depp; which was pretty funny, good and gory. What a mix I know, but it was still pretty entertaining. We saw the 12:15 showing and so after I dropped her off and got my butt home, it was like 3:30 in the AM. I was tired, and passed out as soon as I touched my bed. Before the movie I was hanging out at one of the Young Life leaders houses at a video game/Box Ball PARTY!
It was so much fun, and I really had a chance to interact with some of the kids in an atmosphere that totally allowed everyone to be themselves and feel comfortable being goofy. Sam literally transformed his garage into a professional Box Ball court. I wish I would have gotten a better picture of the actual dimensions of the court. He got really specific on everything. The courts were all numbered and made according to International Box Ball Regulations (IBBR). I was quite impressed with all the other kids. So, that was yesterday.

Today, I slept in till about 12:30 or so. I got up, and talked with Josh (Young Life Staff) about this evening. He invited me to come to a big dinner that his church was putting on. I took my Buddie Reggie. After the dinner, me, Reggie and Josh went to a go-cart place and tore it up! Me and Reggie decided to stay a bit afterwords to kill some zombies and race it up; Motor cycle style.


That's Reggie in the back giving the thumbs up. This kid amazes me! He is so deep, and his level of thinking and maturity surprises me over and over. I know I underestimated this guy, and I am so glad I have spent time in prayer over him. And will continue to do so. He is such an awesome guy! Reggie knows what a Hard Knock Life is. But he is trying his hardest to overcome it and become strong because of the hard ships it throws in his path. I think he could just really use a positive male figure in his life. I hope I can fill the position. I look forward to connecting with him in the activities he has a passion for like his tae kwon do; which he is really proud of and talks about all the time. And by just hanging out doing fun things around the Fort. I just pray that Christ through me spills out. I hope that I can connect with other kids who are making the wrong decisions, and be some kind of positive influence. Tonight, I got a chance at seeing the need first hand. I'm not intimidated of it, and because of God's grace and compassion. I want to do everything I can to make a difference. I was really encouraged by Reggie's openness, and I hope to be able to understand a little more about him and his situation in the near future.

***God, thank you for putting Reggie in my life. Help me to stay humble and learn from him. Don't let me make Reggie a "project," but help me to create a friend. Lord, when I am filled with the Holy Spirit, I can't help but overflow onto other people. Jehova Jirah, you will be seen. Thank you for everything you give me, remind me when I take things for granted, destroy my pride so that I can be closer to you. Thank you GOD.***

Thursday, December 20, 2007

wait, just hold on a second

I woke up this morning to my cell phone ringing. No, it was not the alarm. It was my friend Jacob calling from Soul Korea to give me an update. Jacob was a year younger than me and I was super good friends with his brother Peter who was in the same grade as me. Well, we stayed good friends all through High School & when Peter went back to Korea for the army (they are forced to) Jacob still had a year of High School to finish up with. I kind of looked after him a bit, and kept the friendship going. Well, it is always good to hear from Jacob.


Then I wake up for REAL at 8:00 and get ready. I could see my car windows were a little frosty, so since my parents weren't home I decided to pull it in the garage so it could warm up and the windows could clear off. THEN I FOUND THIS! :-OIn my driveway I usually park on the Right side. I back in, so that my door opens to the drive way, not the grass/snow. The right side is my moms side. Mind you, I haven't been parking in the driveway too aweful long. Last night when I finally got home, I was tired and didn't feel like backing in, so I just pulled in and parked on the left side (dads side) and left it. I guess this morning, he wasn't paying attention, or clipped it, or something. But there it is. When I first looked at it, I was so confused. I actually had to retrace my steps last night. I was thinking to myself, "I don't drink though, this doesn't make any sense." I really had thought some how I did this. I got in the shower and was furious once I used logic to think about what happened.

So, while I am driving to work, I feel horrible. I just put myself in my dads shoes for a bit. He must have felt so bad when he hit my lil smurf mobile. Then I thought to myself, "Mike, you ungrateful punk, why don't you just check yourself & I remembered when I took my moms car into the corn field. I can't wait to see my dad so I can give him a big hug, and tell him it isn't a big deal at all. Poor guy!

I get to work, smiling and in an up beat mood. Saying hello to everyone I pass, and then on the phone, I am just power driving the kindness. Then, the director person or just someone of authority said he needed to speak with me as soon as I am done with the phone call that I was on. He said we needed to take a little walk. We went down to talk with Cher, the HR rep for SIRVA. Long story short, there are a lot of finicial issues that are putting a massive burden on SIRVA and they have to cut the most recent TEMP positions to try to make up for the finicial down fall they have been in. I felt like I just got blind sided. I had to clear out my desk, and I was escourted off the property. I kind of felt like, "what the heck just happened?" So as I am driving home, I am in really deep thought. I decided not to get on the interstate, because I was just not concentrating very well. I took the long way home, HWY 30 to Coliseum. I wasn't thinking about anything, I didn't hear the music that was playing, I was just barley there enough to drive straight and stop at the lights. I was just deep in bewilderment, wondering what just happened that morning. Then, song # 17 started playing. The name of the song was El Shaddai. In Hebrew, El Shaddai is usually translated "God Almighty who is all sufficient". The song had been playing, but my ears seriouisly didn't pick up on the words until this verse started playing:

jehova jirah

you're my provider, you're my provider

and father I worship you

I felt His comfort, and it was almost as if he just took over my speakers and kind of shook me a little bit so I would pay attention. Even in the negative, I SERVE AN AWESOME GOD! As far as work goes.....well, I guess I will have more time for Young Life and the Gymnastics team. I am not even fretting.

(This song is amazing, I LOVE THIS SONG! If anyone anywhere in the world would like for me to E-Mail them this song, I would be more than happy to. Just send an E-Mail to mobileRILEY@gmail.com and put El Shaddai in for the subject. I will just reply with the song attached to the E-Mail. I paid for the CD, so it is legal. I won't even write or ask who you are, i'll just send the song.)

My day ended in the most fab way possible. I got to spend some time with Amanda. She forgave me for being an amazing jerk. I am so glad to because I forgot about how much fun we have together. We could do nothing, and have an amazing time. There is so much laughing and I can't believe how much of a jerk wad I am. When Lauren & I had our "fling," I just forgot about Amanda, I am quite ashamed, and really there was no reason why she had to be so good to me, other than her just having that kind of personality. I am thankful for Amanda, I vow never to let that happen again. MARK MY WORD BLOG!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I have to make everything all better.

I just have a prayer request. Pray for Michelle (main coach) & all the other coaches for the gymnastics team. An issue has come up that is just kind of icky. Guidance and wisdom would be a huge strength/help.

I had a great time with my friend Sarah Ziegler from high school. We got in the Hot Tub and talked about life, god, relationships, life, etc. She is on FIRE for God, and it shows. It's just like I was saying a couple of posts ago, when you are over flowing with the Holy Spirit, it spills off onto all things you do. It's quite amazing and encouraging. Sarah has seen me struggle, and I have seen her struggle, it's a God thing.

I was disappointed in myself today. I had to go to my sisters apartment and get my wallet because it fell out of my pocked when she dropped me off yesterday evening. Well, when I left her place I prayed that God take me to a Gas station where he could use me. I stopped at the nearest G/S (gas station) and prayed that God use me to speak for him. I walked in and it was empty, I was a little nervous. I was going to buy a drink and tell this guy behind the counter how much God loves him, I had it all planned out. Then some home boys walked in and.....well I seized up. I paid for the drink and all that could come out of my mouth was, "dude, I hope God blesses the rest of your night." He said thanks, but why do I care what those dudes thought? Why does that matter, and why can't I rise above that? I am frustrated with myself. I shouldn't care about what other people think, spreading the word of the God I praise is way more important that my feelings. I just get disgusted with myself. I exited the G/S and this guy walked up to me...he was higher than a kite and wanted to know if I could spare some money for "GAS" because his car broke down, just down the road. We chatted a bit, and I left feeling kind of defeated. Then I listened to the song, The Rebel Jesus by Jackson Browne. It boosted me back to where I needed to be. God is so freeking Good.

here are some GOOD VIDEOS!



This ~~*LINK*~~ is amazing.

Thanks for reading my BLOG today. I like having a BLOG because it helps my memory, and it is a powerful way to get things off my chest. Also, when I live my life as an open book for anyone to read, it helps keep me accountable. I haven't found the right accountability partner yet, but I am still looking for some Christ centered dude to come be my buddy, it'll happen. I think the TYSABRI is going to start after the 7th of Jan, I spoke with someone in regards to starting the treatment and it seems as though it is in the final stages of getting set up. Until then, I will continue to go untreated. I feel good, and I feel healthy. I am satisfied and joyful. My God is an awesome GOD! I am going to challenge myself to share Christ with people I don't know, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. Even if I get laughed at in my face and called a hypocrite. I feel like I must to do as I am commanded.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

HAPPY BIRTH DAY TO ME!

It’s that time of year, when I usually get reminded that I am a bit older. In years past when I would hear someone tell me that I have grown up so much and am mature and doing so well. It was really easy for me to shrug it off, because I knew there was an only half truth told. But, I can look at the progress I have made and continue to make and really be proud of so many of my accomplishments. I am proud of myself, not prideful though.

I am so thankful this year because I can thank God for another year; good health, maturity, Young Life, a job, a car, the Holy Spirit overflowing in me and my future.

I felt so blessed when I went to Snider High School with Josh, and just meted and greeted kids. It was a total answerer to prayers when I ran into REGGIE! He totally walked past me in the halls and I didn’t even see him. I saw his brother and another kid, and didn’t see him. I asked them, “hey, do you guys know where Reggie has been?” They pointed behind me and bam, there he was. We got to talking and the reason he wasn’t at club last Wednesday was because he didn’t have a ride. I gave him my Cell # and invited him to come to a church dinner on Saturday. He was all about it, and I am going to pick him up as soon as I get off work. I am pumped to hang out with this kid, and even more pumped to see where God is going to take, hopefully our relationship with each other. I just have to keep reminding myself, “he’s not a project, he’s not a project, and only God can change hearts, JUST LOVE HIM.” That’s the plan, and I feel totally confident about it.I had a great B-Day. One I will never forget, I was so blessed today by things that weren't even Birth Day related, but I suppose that's how it goes, and i'm actually glad of it. I like how I never know what to expect in my life. It keeps me on my toes.

In the picture above, you can see that I got a chance to go out with my family and have my first legal/legit drink. We had a blast, and again, it was the small things that I appreciated that will last me forever. The words my sister put in my B-Day card almost brought tears to my eyes. It wasn't that it was dramatic, and all emotional. It was because my sister spoke from her heart and couldn't have been more correct in her thinking. She was real, emotionally and I appreciated it on a way deep level.

I had an amazing time with the Gymnastics girls, I made them gather together so I could get a pic. of them so I can share with all who want to see. I am so proud, and it is so amazing to see them grow in just the short time I have been with them. I want to be able to push them and make them the best they can be. It is such an amazing to Coach. I understand why my dad has done it for such a long time with the middle school football team. There is no price you could put on it, and there are no words you can give to the feeling you get when you see someone learn and grow because of something you told them, or a mistake that you pointed out. It's so awesome and I am so thankful Michelle contacted me to help. A couple of girls are missing, but here are the goof balls for the most part.

The night ended in my sisters apartment with her roomie Traci. It was a good time and I love um both more than I can explain in words. I got to play with Traci's new cat too. Cute lil Lucy!

~Thank you God for this day you have blessed me with. Not because of materialistic things, but because of gifts that will last forever. Lord, take my pride away so that I may grow closer to you in everything I do. Thank you for Reggie, and the gymnastic girls, let them see that there is something in me that is different. You are Grace, and I am nothing in your presence. Heavenly father, bless the people you allow me to touch, help me to speak first of you above all else. Father you are so good.~

Monday, December 17, 2007

pretty normal day today.

After work today I got home and my friend Holly from the movies this weekend and I went sledding at a local park. It was really fun, and we had some great conversation. We tried to go out to get some hot coa coa, but it didn't work out cuz the place we went to was all out of the stuff. I went home and chilled out and watched some T.V. I am so tired, I really need to go to bed. I didn't have gymnastics practice today because Leo's school district cancelled school today, so this meant no practice.
I saw my friend Mitchell when we got to the park where we went sledding. Tomorrow is going to be action packed, non stop great day. Sometimes it is the things that are the most important that give us the most satisfaction.
When I woke up this morning, I went down stairs around 4:50AM. I saw a doe and her fawn eating the bird seed that had fallen from the bird feeder. They were beautiful and so close to the window I was standing in. They were standing closer than 10 feet away from the window I was standing at. They are very pretty animals when you are up close. They move with a lot of elegance, and grace. It was a blessing.
Bible study was great, and I love putting on my armor before heading to work.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

pretty snowy

Driving to work this morning was quite a rush. It was so snowy out. I felt like I was back in Michigan again, except this time I was driving in the insane conditions. This was the Interstate Highway to. We got dumped on from this storm, I love snow. I don't even mind un-burying my car in the morning either.

Work was ok, I am not allowed to say God bless or that I feel blessed. I was told that if I continued, then I would face repercussions. It is sad, but I can show love by the tone in my voice and by just being a good person. I can love the women in the office that would be much easier to shrug off and dislike. I am going to give it my best effort, God will do the rest. It is only 7:30, but I have to go to bed now if I am going to make it to Bible study tomorrow morning. So, this is where I say good night to the day. I enjoyed you, and thank God for keeping me safe in my car. Good Night.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

ehhh, how bout a health update.

So I got to work pretty darn early this morning. I decided to do a little research on the drug (Tysabri) that I should be starting soon. I got on Wikipedia and did a little learning from a DVD that one of my moms friends directed my way. It has some pretty good information on it, and I think Wikipedia has the best explination for what happened with Tysabri, and what caused a bit of a ruckus shortly after it was adminstered as an M/S care therapy. As far as I know, I am still awaiting insurance approval. I have put a lot of thought and consideration into it, and if my insurance says no, I am not going to fight it.



Natalizumab (Tysabri)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Therapeutic monoclonal antibody
Source
Humanized
Target
A4 integrin
Identifiers
Mol. mass
149 kDa
Pharmacokinetic data
Half life
11 ± 4 days
Therapeutic considerations
Pregnancy cat.
C(AU) C(US)
Legal status
℞ Prescription only
Routes
Intravenous infusion
Natalizumab is a prescription drug co-marketed by Biogen Idec and √Član as Tysabri. It was previously named Antegren. Natalizumab is administered by infusion and has proven effective in the treatment of multiple sclerosis and Crohn's disease. Three months after its approval by the FDA, the drug was voluntarily withdrawn after being linked to adverse events including one death. After an intensive safety evaluation, the drug was re-approved by the FDA as a potentially significant advancement over existing therapies and returned to the marketplace under a program of restricted distribution and regular patient evaluations.




I found a great BLOG: UnToMe.blogspot.com


*But happy is the man whose God is the Lord whose ways are the ways of Him.


After work I went home and chilled out for bit. It really started snowing hard, and then I went to see I am Legend, the new Will Smith movie with my friends Holly and Kandace. It was great fun.

Holly is on the left, and kandace's forehead is on the right. We had a good time talking and getting and giving the D.L. on whats been going on in everyones lives. It was bunches of fun.

Friday, December 14, 2007

That was so cool.

Last night I believe my feeling was right. Today in early morning Bible study it was powerful stuff. The Lord showed up plain and clear and we discussed some important topics facing our church and ourselves as individuals. It is so good to surround yourself with Christ seeking men. It is a healthy reminder that others feel and seek the same things you do, because you will not get that reminder from the world. The world and the devils forces seek to destroy and humiliate you at every chance. Something even cooler happened towards the end of the study this morning. This guy, you could call him the leader of the group, even though there really is no leader. He is a worship leader at the church associated with the bible study. He left at around 7:45, then about 10 minutes later came back into the house we were at and just sat right in the middle of us and asked if we would pray over him. We put our hands on him and prayed fervently over him. It was powerful stuff.

After work I called my best bud Jared up and asked if he wanted to go out to eat. I drove to his house and waited for him to get home. I crank a hot cope of Hot Coa Coa while I waited.

We went out to eat at applebees and I had a killer rack of baby back ribs. We had a really nice waitress that I knew from high school and it was a good couple of conversations. After a most amazing dinner we went back to J-Rod's house for some good ole DVD watching. I went home at about midnight so I can prepare for this SNOW we are SUPPOSE to get late tonight. We will see what actually happens. God is so good, it is such an awesome and amazing concept to attempt to grasp daily. Just trying to fathom how amazing of a God I serve is enough to keep my mind busy for hours on end.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

You can't sugar coat Hypocriticalness

In my work environment it is open and anyone can hear my phone conversations if they choose to listen. When people on the phone ask me how I am doing I commonly say things like, “God has blessed me or I am feeling blessed.” When I say goodbye to one of the callers, I sometimes tell them, “God bless you.” A lady who doesn’t have authority to give me orders came up to me and mentioned that I shouldn’t be saying things “like that” on the telephone to callers. I asked if it was against company guidelines, and she kind of changed the direction of the conversation. She told me that an agent that we commonly deal with had a voice mail that mentioned “God’s blessing, and things of that sort.” She told me that she was forced to change it. I felt very strange vibes coming from her when she spoke to me. Then she said, “I know, I think it’s horrible, I think it is wrong to take God out of the schools and government, but Cathy (main boss) wouldn’t like hearing you say that.” I hear this lady swear out loud and say nasty things quite often. I think I will stop saying God bless, and how much God has blessed me when the main boss comes to me and tells me herself. It is just very hypocritical, but I am going to keep doing what I am doing.

I love the childs song, "He's got the whole world in his hands" BECAUSE HE DOES! I am stoked for Bible Study tomorrow. I won't be able to make it unless I GO TO BED!

I love the Life God has Granted me. It's just good like that.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

a SOLID day

Young Life was so “SOLID” today and I proved, yet again that when you are filled to the brim with the Holy Spirit, you can’t help but over flow with it. It’s contagious too, it starts spilling on other people and they get all wet with the Spirit, and so on and so fourth. It is a big beautiful chain reaction. You just have to step outside that comfort zone and show your true colors. If people think you’re crazy, or “too much” SO BE IT! I have decided that I would rather be over flowing with the Jesus, and let people think I’m nuts, than to try to hide it, ever. 6:00A.M. Bible study was really great today as well. Just so many challenges and amazing things put in front of me. I love being in the word, I especially being in the word with a group of like minded individuals. It is so reassuring to know that other guys are seeking what I am seeking, and that other guys love the Lord like I do. It’s powerful stuff.

I also got the chance to experience my first day at Snider High School during Lunch time. I feel like I want to be there every day. If that were possible, I would really pursue that, but for now, just going on Tuesday and Wednesday is just fine for me.

videoAbove, is a video of me and some guys in a small Racquet ball room. This room is in the same basement that we have Young Life in. I noticed that these guys went missing, and instead of yelling at them to get back with the group, we chilled for a bit. We acted goofy, and even did some free style rapping. I sucked, but they were able to laugh at/with me, so it was all worth while. I think these kids are still wondering why they are coming, but the most important part is they are still coming because they are seeing something that they like. That is a beautiful thing to see.

Today was the last Young Life for the year. I think we start it up again in February.

I feel so incredibly blessed, and I am really asking people to just pray that I can continue this passion, this Fire for Christ and loving his people. I am going to keep digging in his word, and seeking his face. I just pray that this passion that is so contagious just maintains and spreads into other peoples lives.

**Thank you God for all the blessings you shower on me. Thank you for protecting me, and giving me a heart that seeks you. I pray that you keep me strong even when people would rather me quiet down. Lord make me a vessle for you and your message. Allow me to show who you are through my words and actions. God you are so good. Holy is your name Lord, rule my life!**

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I felt God's hand of protection on me today.

I was pretty lazy to start off with this morning, I laid on the couch and enjoyed a bit of my day off in the old fashioned “lazy butt style.” I worked out until the tremors bothered me, then I got showered up and made a return at Best Buy. I did some Christmas shopping for a special lady in my life (one that feeds me and occasionally makes my bed) and then drove out to Leo for gymnastics practice. It was en route to practice that I felt I was protected YET AGAIN by the Holy Spirit. If you are familiar with the Fort Wayne area, you should be able to get a good visualization. I was coming from the Industrial park area and just took a left off of Industrial Dr. onto Washington Center Rd. I noticed a couch in the middle of the road right where Washington Center goes under the bypass. I drove past it but knew someone needed to move it out of the road. I thought to myself, “that is going to cause an accident if someone doesn’t move it.” I think I even said out loud while I was driving, “ohh dang.” Right on the other side of the bypass there is a restaurant called Rickers, and I was going to pull into it, but inside me I was fighting the idea of stopping and pulling it out of the street, and just driving on and forgetting about it. I kept driving, but then the feeling of someone getting in an accident overcame me and about 200 yards down the road I turned around in a retirement home parking lot. I still hesitated for a second while I considered not going back, then I just did it. As I was driving back towards the couch in the middle of the street, I see 2 cars coming towards it. I fashioned this crude drawing to better explain the situation. There were 3 cars involved. Car # 1 was actually an F-150 and it was blue. There were 2 other cars involved (#’s 2&3) but I don’t remember what kinds they were or what colors they might have been. The couch in the road was blue…or green. Washington Center Rd. has 2 lanes of traffic on both sides of the road. The thick black line is suppose to stand for the bypass wall. The bypass is of course running over Washington Center, and has huge thick walls to hold up the highway. The couch was taking up the majority of the right lane, and a little bit of the left lane. Car 1 saw it and was fine, car 2 must not have seen the couch till the very last second and turned hard left and crashed into car 1. Car 3 must have been riding pretty close to car 2 and in order not to smash into the couch turned hard right and crashed into the bypass wall. My jaw dropped, as I drove past this I first noticed that everyone was ok, THEN, I realized that if I wouldn’t have hesitated about stopping, I could have very well been at that couch while all this happened. I was thoroughly shaken and felt very blessed. Thank you for protecting me God. :-)

I drove to Leo and the girls had a great practice. I do love working with them again. I got a chance to do the concession stand with Lori (coach) and really enjoyed working in close proximity with her. I can't wait till next week when I will be able to spend 3 days in a row with the girls. I will start to feel more and more comfortable with spotting them and hopefully the same with them. I am super excited to go to the Cafeteria with Tom tomorrow at Snider. It's going to feel weird and I might even be a little uncomfortable, but I am really excited to take this next step with the kids. So much so that I am not going to let my own stupid petty anxieties get in the way. Thats God working right there.

Monday, December 10, 2007

work and ice

It was so beautiful driving to work today. All the trees were covered with ice and just stood out. It was super pretty. My friend Mike G texted me from Phoenix and was telling me how he was complaining because it got down to like 63 degrees. HA!

How do you witness to people who don't think they need to be witnessed to? How do you witness to people who don't want to hear what you have to say, or even tell you to stop. I really don't know. Is it enough to just love them? Should you do more? Does Christ command us to do more? I think I am going to have to seek this out Biblically a bit and seek some council. These thoughts and words keep coming into my daily thought process, and then another voice comes from inside saying, "shhhhh that's not entirely appropriate to say, who are you to say it anyway?" It is an inward battle, me fighting against myself. It would be so much easier to go to some foreign country where they are hungry to hear the word. Instead, my battle ground is here and now. Wow, it seems like an overwhelming task. For me I suppose it is, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

I am nothing right without him.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

YL Christmas Party & Collateral

I am active, yes busy and driven. My life feels like something I can stand proud of. I am going to try my hardest to seek my Abba and try not to complicate things.

After I got off work today I went straight to a Christmas Party for Young Life leaders, staff, and committee members. It was a little weird for me just because I don't really KNOW any of them, but they are so loving. Young Life has such a strong back bone. Hearing some of them speak to us really is a healthy reminder for why we do what we do.You will be missed Kyle. I respect and pray for you and your journey to come.
After the Christmas party I went to Collateral. I showed up late and missed the majority of what was probably a great message. This picture above of the bed is more proof that my mom is by far the best woman in the world. I do not deserve a mom like the one God gave to me. I have been sleeping on just a mattress and mattress cover for maybe a week. My mom went up to my room to check the situation out and made this for me. Now, I am almost 21 years old and there is no reason for her to "have" to do anything of the sort, she does it because she is friggin amazing and I am so appreciative of everything she does for me.
I'm going to sleep so good tonight.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Get done working, whats next on the list?

Today after I got off work, I went directly to Snider High School. It was fun to hang out with some kids. I think it is going to be an important step in the direction I am heading towards becoming active in these kids life. I have to be where they are, and take interest in what they like. I am totally willing to do that too. After the game, me and a couple of guys went over to Toms house. Tom is in the lower right hand corner. Tom is a really good cook, and he made up some taco makings and we pigged out. Played some katamari, checked out Kyles techno set up, and chilled for a bit. It was pretty darn fun. I am extremely tired now, and I think it is well past time for me to go to bed. SLEEP WILL BE UPON ME!

Friday, December 07, 2007

a book and some tunEz

9:36A.M.

A very early post, but I have something to say. I had an awesome Bible study this morning. It was very uplifting and encouraging. I was really challenged to step outside the box with my Christianity. If people don't see me overflowing with Christ, then what am I really doing? I was challenged by a guy named Matt, I have a feeling Matt and I have a lot more in common than what we know, but that isn't the point. We met at Collateral and are slowely becoming closer through this Mon, Wed, Fri Bible study I have been attending only for a short time. This morning he really challenged me, and actually in a very indirect mannor. It just kind of opened my eyes a bit to how things are, and how they should be. After Bible study I went back home and got ready for work. I was looking all over for the book I have been reading "The Masters Plan For Evangelism" but it was no where to be found. God lead me to this devotional/study on Peter I started reading right before I left for China, and into the China trip a bit. I stopped for one reason or another and I am going to start it up again. There is a really beautiful quote from The Velveteen Rabbit that I want to share.

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." __Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit


After work I drove right to Best Buy and purchased a CD player for my vehicle. Now I really love every aspect of it. I guess there is only 2 aspects, it moves and it has music. BUT I LOVE THEM! After I got the CD player I went over to my half brothers house. Travis actually works at Best Buy and is super talented at installing electronics in vehicles. He hooked up my car. I tried to help him get my old AM/FM tuner out, and I cut myself. There was a lot of destruction because he didn't have the right tools for the job. I kind of asked him at the last second if he could do this for me. He is an awesome big bro, so he said yes he would help me on his day off. THANKS TRAVIS!


videoI took the long way home from Columbia City so I could enjoy my new tunes. I think I make really funny facial expressions, I concentrate really hard on the road though, you can tell because I have a pretty intense face going on for most of the time.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

A kitty

My sisters roommate Traci got a new kitten, her name is Lucy and she is as cute as a button. I totally forgot to take a picture of her, but she is super cute and teething. She is extremely friendly and likes to be a goof ball kitten. I LOVE YOU MERIDETH, and i'm sorry I ate all the cream puffs. :-O

I love work, and I love talking to people. I talk to a lot of drivers, and their agents. This one agent talked to me for a while and he said, "I can't believe you put up with everything you put up with." I explained to him that it was my job and I actually quite enjoy it. He said he admired me...... We talked for a bit, and I enjoyed it. I like calming people down who are really mad. I feel like I have failed in some way if they hang up the phone and are still upset.

The smurf mobile is treating me quite nicely. I think I have a crush on my goofy car. I think I am going to buy it a CD player so it can feel HIP.

Well, it's getting late and I have Bible study at 6AM

I am going to try to get in touch with Reggie, Tom (Young Life Staff) is going to ask one of his teachers for his home phone number, and we are going to try to take him out on Sunday for his Birth Day. Pray that everything works out good. :-)

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Winter is official.

When I woke up this morning
win-ter was on my mi---ind
and, win-ter was on, my mi---ind
I got no real troubles, whoa-oh
I got no real worries, whoa-oh
I got, no wounds to bind.

So I got my car back
and it eased a some paa--ins
I got no real troubles, whoa-oh
I got no real worries, whoa-oh
Then I came home a-gain.

I hope someone out there appreciated that parody. At least one person, I wouldn't want that to be in vain. It is official, winter has made itself known. I got my car back, and I am rocking it out in the Tempo once again. I spent big booka on it, but it is running like a champ. That makes me all tingly inside. This morning I cleared off the drive way and walks for my mom because she had Bible Study Fellowship at our house for the ladies. My mom is a leader this year, and so I had the driveway all cleared off for them. Once she pulled into the garage, I stopped her and sincerely apologized to her for going off on her yesterday out of frustration. She appreciated it, and it was a good thing. I made a couple of apologies today, and they are an important part of life. When you can sincerely apologize for a behavior or act, it shows that you are willing to take a pride hit. I think that is so vital, I am going to make a goal to incorporate that into my daily life more often. Hopefully it will serve as a reminder to NOT BE A JERK!
I had a blast at Young Life tonight. This is a picture of a game gone wrong. Maybe wrong is an over statement. I should say, "game gone funny." The objective was to put an orange in the pantie house, then put the pantyhose on your head. Once this is accomplished, you must try to wrap your pantie hose around your opponents pantyhose, pulling it off his/her head without using your hands. Well, turns out this is a really hard task to accomplish. It was really funny though.

The best part of Young Life came when I got to take full advantage of having a vehicle. I got to give these 3 guys a ride home. God was definitely in that car ride too. They kind of lived on the "other" side of town, and I didn't have a clue where to go. Well, I prayed that got keep us safe, and that I wouldn't look like a complete fool. I completely guessed where to go. Turns out, I was right on. This was pretty amazing to me, because this was not my side of the rail road tracks, and I really was driving blind, and these kids offered me no direction what-so-ever. I think I found one of my target kids too. I am so pumped, and specific prayer can be for me and Reggie. That he would be able to see that I am genuinely interested in him and his life, and that I can connect with him. His birth day is on the 9th, and I am going to try to get a hold of his home phone number so I can give him a call, and maybe take him out for a late night b-day dinner or something like that. I am excited to see where God will take this.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I gotta check myself sometimes.

This evening I was just burdened with world-weariness. Yeah, I like that word. I was burdened with ~life acts~(car issues), nothing new or shocking; I suppose I just took it the wrong way. My vehicle, which I only got to drive for a full 5 days is currently in the shop. I called the shop this morning around 9:00A.M. I ask them to change out the transmission fluid along with all the other stuff, as well as get an idea of where they stood time wise. I took the car in on Friday and they said it would be ready on Tuesday, TODAY. Well, he told me on the phone this morning that I could pick it up at 5P.M., and I was cool with that. As my mom is driving me to the shop, I see we are running a little behind schedule, so I call them to make sure they know I am still coming…..the usual guy doesn’t pick up. Some gentlemen named Mike picked up and asked me, “You say you’re coming for the Tempo? That thing is in pieces, the part just came in about an hour and a half ago, no way it can be ready for you.” DANG, seriously I wanted to have my vehicle back so bad at that point; I wanted the freedom and independence that I have been longing for back so badly it made my chest hurt. I even got short with my mom, the woman who gives me everything and expects nothing in return. I got short with her because I was upset that I couldn’t have my vehicle back when I wanted it back. SMACK IN THE FACE! It was like a reality check, and I really had to check myself. I didn’t even apologize to her, I just stayed quiet and felt really bad as she drove me to Leo High for gymnastics practice. I know that first thing I am going to really let her know how much I love and appreciate everything she does for me, and that I am so sorry for taking out any discouragement I might have had on her. That is so wrong of me. So not loving, and selfish. I was really ashamed at myself.

Gymnastics practice went great. I am so happy to be back with the girls, and it is so cool to see how far some of them have come. I remember when the now Seniors were Freshmen and far from their current ability level. It is so much fun to be back in an atmosphere where I can encourage in my own style, and get them really motivated. I can come up with goofey off the wall tactics to make them laugh, but at the same time, point out their mistakes so they can learn. I am blessed to work with Lori and Michelle too. They are great coaches and I really enjoy them. I believe the feeling might be shared for me as well.


Above was a Roster taken from a Fort Wayne, MAD ANTS Basket Ball Game!! Ohh yea, be very intimidated by these Ants, because they will walk all over you.....wait...... The name circled in red is Heidi Busch - P.R. and Media Relations Representative. That is my best friend Jared's sister. She is rocking, and her education totally came in handy! You gotta love it when things work out. Must just be totally ironic. ;-) It was so nice to hang out with Jared & his mom and dad at the B-Ball game. Growing up, it was like a second home to me. I know me and Jared will be hanging out more now that I have me some wheels. For shizzle my nizzle we will! As me and Jared were exiting after the game, the dancers/cheer leaders were standing together at one of the exits. Chelsy yelled my name and we spoke for a bit. I noticed she wasn't performing this evening, and it turns out she hurt her back some how. It was slightly awkyard, but I am glad she called me over. The only way to move past that feeling is to face it head on and smile.

The Ants seem to be playing much better. The team they played today from Bakersfield was really not good, but I think I really did notice some improvement. It's always fun to be in an atmosphere where people accept you screaming at the top of your lungs anyways.

Car should be ready tomorrow at NOON, but if it isn't, it's no sweat off my back. "wink, wink. nudge, nudge."

Monday, December 03, 2007

off my chest

Today at work I spent the majority of my free time in The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert E. Coleman again. I get really uncomfortable at work because I separate myself from the usual. The usual includes swearing, 1 sided jokes and inappropriate talk. I just kind of cringe inside when I see and hear it. I find comfort in the verses and I study it deeply. This is the only way for me. I have been praying alot lately that God puts in on my heart who I am suppose to really target with Young Life, and I am excited to go to Snider High School on Wednesday with 2 of the Young Life staff at lunch time to just be around the kids. It will be interesting to see how they react as well as how I react. I have really high hopes, and I think that is the best thing to have. If you have really low hopes, or no hopes, then what can you possibly hope to get out of a situation or accomplish?
Lauren and I talked again today on the phone. I felt like I was brutally honest, I just hope I was honest and clear. I think it is good to be 100% honest, as long as your intentions are pure, and you don't have any kind of hidden agenda. Constructive criticism goes both ways though, if you are going to hand it out, you'd better be ready to take it if need be. I would be greatly disappointed if Lauren and I couldn't walk away from this without having a healthy friendship. I just hope that bomb doesn't hurt someone else, or roll back towards me and blow a foot off.

I am pumped to get my car back tomorrow. I have felt like a young child that was just given a brand new toy, and then ate cookies without asking permission and got it taken away. I WANT MY TOY BACK! lol. I hope that friggin car is ready for me to drive it, cuz drive is what i'm gonna do. oh yes, driving is predicted in my 7 day forecast.
HEALTH UPDATE
I made a very bold decision today. I decided to go ahead with the TYSABRI, the once a month M/S Monotherapy. I talked on the phone with the company that is in charge of reintroducing the drug to patients through out the U.S. for about 35 minutes today. As I talked with the agent that is in charge of my drug profile, I felt confident about what he had to tell me, and think it is the best decision for me. God is in control of my health, even when I don't think he is. I have to be okay with that and move on. I made my decision, it is final and now I am moving on. It's as simple as that. BAM!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Common sense is not so common. -Voltaire

Today at work it was phone call after phone call, I enjoy it though, and all the different types of people to deal with can be a test in patience and mouth shutting at points. When I got home I was exhausted. I was so tired I kept falling asleep on the couch. I didn't go to Collateral because I was just beat. I think I know the reason why, and it isn't a big deal, just ughhh. Today I had the chance to watch the movie Hot Rod, IT WAS VERY FUNNY, stupid funny, but FUNNY!!!

I gotta go to work an hour early tomorrow because my car is in the shop, my moms car is in the shop; she is using my dads van tomorrow and he is getting a ride to work, because she has a job out south she is just going to drop me off early then go to her clients house to draw blood and what not. It sucks that I have to be at work a whole hour early, but maybe they will let me clock in early..........prolly not, but who knows. Tomorrow I start the schedule that I will be on for the majority of the time. 9:30-7:00. Thursday-Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off. It isn't too bad of a time frame, but it isn't fun to get to when you don't have a vehicle and depend on someone else. I really hope the car runs good after they replace the head gasket. I Hope, I Hope, I Hope, I HOPE!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

some snow 'n stuff

I just got done watching the best movie. I am not out and about because of the current health status of my vehicle. So, I decided to try out On Demand with the Verizon FIOS T.V. I watched a movie called Lives of Others. It was a movie in German with all English sub-titles. I was amazed how hooked I was on it. It cost like $2.99 to rent it off the digital cable, but it was such an amazing movie. The end was really the kicker too. I love it when a movie really smashes the ending perfectly like in this one. I highly recommend this movie, especially if you don't mind reading captions during a movie. I stayed dry the whole movie, and some of it was slow, but still held your interest surprisingly well. I didn't tear up till the very end. Beautiful, those Germans know how to put together a film.

Today at work I spent every second of my free time in this book that Josh gave me for Young Life. The book is called The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert E. Coleman. It quotes a lot of scripture, so I just read it right in front of the computer. I have 2 Internet Explorer tabs open, one is for scripture; Biblegateway.com the other is for looking up words, pretty simple really; dictionary.com. The book is starting to fill with side notes, thoughts, scribbles, etc. It is a really great way to fill free time. I had a really good day at work today. I just block out the negative parts.

Yesterday evening I had it put on my heart to talk with Lauren. I don't use that expression as a cop out either. Sometimes I think people say that God puts things on their heart because they just want a quick easy way out of something, and they want to be able to use God as a cover up. Well, this was not the case. I'm not suppose to be with Lauren, we are in 2 separate places, and don't really mesh with each other. I can honestly say it was a mutual decision. Again, people use that expression as a cop out all the time as well. But this time, Lauren and I both felt the same way. I think our friendship will stay. I am confident with the decision. I say this dissapointed, but sure.

It's Christmas time!! Ohh yes, the snow fell today and Christmas is officially here. I have some video footage to prove it.


After I watched The Lives of Others, I was pumped and wanted to do something creative. Well, I couldn't really get creative, so I decided to just make a small 45 second video. ENJOY my mothers pretty Christmas decorations.


A really cool thing happened before I started watching the video. All day I thought about Jared, and told him what I wanted to invite him to on my B-Day on the 18th, and just thought about him through out the day today. So, what happens? He calls me and invites me to a Mad Ants, B-Ball game tomorrow. HA! His sister Heidi works for Mad Ants. Pretty cool stuff!!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Anti-freeze and Awesomeness

(I don't have a gray cat)
So, the Smurf Mobile (my car) has had a bit of a green runny nose, all over the drive way actually. I decided it was time to take it to get looked at when I could smell anti-freeze when I got out of the car. I kind of had a feeling it was something a little more serious than what I was hoping it would be, but I stayed optimistic. Well I decided to take it to a shop that I trust, and see what they thought. My fears were realized when they told me it had a bad head gasket. Now, this put me in a bad mood for a bit, but I got over it. I got the car for free, so if I can pay $636.51 and it will allow the car to last, then I feel like that is well worth it. I do know that I have tasted the independence that I have been longing for, and I will do anything to keep that. I think that I made the right decision, and I am comfortable with it. The money isn't an issue, and a good job helps. It will be alright. Above all, God provides, i'm most comfortable in that.


I had a great little sit down with Josh V (Young Life staff) this morning at a local coffee house. It was quite refreshing and motivating as I listened to the up beat and excited message he conveyed. The gist of the conversation is that it is time for me to take the next step in my leadership role with the kids. I am so excited that this moment is here, and I am so eager to see where God is going to take this. I am pumped to get to start some lasting relationships with kids where I can just LOVE. It’s really amazing what God can do with a willing participant.


Another thing that raised my spirits was when I had a chance to talk with my friend Mike Gann on the phone. Mike and I became really good friends when I went to school up in Traverse City, MI. We were really close and have continued our friendship even though he now lives in Phoenix. The good news that Mike gave me was about his new JOB! He got a Personal Banker position with Wells Fargo. Mike was interviewing against guys with brief cases and in nice suites, he has no education other than a High School Diploma and a few college courses. There were several interviews that he had to go to, and they didn’t seem to get him anywhere. Then, he gets a phone call from like a district manager of Wells Fargo, and got offered a position. He gets paid like 15/hr plus commission. This is a really good thing for Mike because he is a natural salesman. I could hear the excitement in his voice. He moved to Phoenix with his g/f Kaitlyn about a year and a half ago, and has just excelled tremendously. He has a house; they both have nice cars, a boat and now a career to look forward to excelling in. I’m so proud of him, and totally excited to see where he is going to go with this. I always tell him how much God blesses him. I think he “knows” but feels uncomfortable with an indefinite decision to something that is higher than his own. I love Mike, and without sounding like a father figure, I am super proud of him.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

how did I miss that?

Today is post ~368~ I wanted to make a special post at 365, that way I could say, "I can't believe it, I can say I have been posting for over a year now, and I really can say I officially enjoy it." So, I guess you can read that and believe I am being sincere, but 368 posts just doesn't sound quite as glitzy and glamorous as 365, ya know? I have to say that my 368th post is ALMOST as cool as this Lego taxi station set #668.It is definitely cooler than this New York shield, made to the specifications of the Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices (MUTCD), 2003 Edition. ~*I don't know what this is*~

It's way cooler than both of those.

However, it's not cooler than the 365th post which marks the point I reached when I could officially say I have posted an entire year! I like that a lot.

I was BUSY at work today. Phone call after phone call made my day fly by. I took my 1/2 hour lunch, but didn't even have time to take any breaks. I loved it, and wished every day was like that. I am feeling more and more confident with my job. And even when I run across a problem that I am not positive about, I feel confident with my problem solving skills. It is really an interesting skill to have. Multi-Tasking is the name of the game.

I am so glad I have a chance to be back with some gymnasts. I love to motivate them, and explain why doing that sport is so much more than bending and balancing. How it can really effect a lot of things you encounter in life. The girls really seem to see that I am being genuine with them, and that is a huge plus for me. Tomorrow is my day off, I have Bible study early at 6:00A.M., then I am going to find a time to meet up with Josh(Young Life Staff) and for the rest of the day, well I'm not quite sure what I am going to fill that with. I have a car, so it could really go anywhere. ;-)

!#%&*HEALTH and LIFE UPDATE*&%$*^

I feel really good. I have been sleeping soo good at night. I still have crazy and vivid dreams almost every evening, but I sleep so well, I think it is happening because I am reaching the REM stage of sleep every night. This is the deepest form of sleep where your dreaming occurs. My tremors are still existant, but seem very minor. I haven't been staying on my work out schedule because of all the crazy amounts of activities I have to fill my time, maybe that is why I don't notice the tremors. My relationship with Lauren is progressing at a pace I feel comfortable with, and I am really happy with that. She seems comfortable with that as well; at least as much as I can tell. I feel so blessed to have a car, to ME, life is so much more fufilling, and I am so blessed to be able to give back. I haven't started up a new medicine treatment as of yet. I am really having second doubts about the TYSABRI too. My relationship with God is growing to new heights, and I feel like the more time passes, the more I see the man God wants me to become. I'm trying to put others before myself.~"the first shall be last, the last shall be first"~ I'm not scared about my health.