So today I did in deed cut my hair. Check out what i'm about to say. Maybe you can find a 'connection.' I intentionally started to grow out my hair for good reasons, certainly not wrong reasons. But through time as it got longer and took more and more out of me, I grew tired of it. But, even though I was beginning to grow slightly weary of the hair, I still had grand ideas of what it could be. I thought the hair could make me happy. I thought the hair could fill a part of me that couldn't be filled by anything else. So, as I grew with the hair things would happen. I would wake up one day and find that it was all getting twined together. Mornings became more difficult because I now had to shampoo & condition, as well as use a comb at times. Things were not simple anymore. But, I still loved the hair and desired to have long sweet hair just like I did back in high school. I would catch glimpses of the reality of my hair, but just sort of turn my head away. I would see the issues that my hair was actually causing me, but instead of dealing with them right on the spot, I pretended like they weren't that big of a deal and moved on. After a while this took over. I could only look at the hair for the issues it had brought on me. Knowing deep down that the hair couldn't fix itself, I did what I knew I had to do. I had to cut the hair and start fresh. Even though I had come to a point a couple of months ago where I was about to cut my hair, I didn't really follow thorugh with all my heart. I just sort of half way went through what it was going to take to do such a thing. But now, now there is no turning back. I cut the hair, and things are much clearer. No turning back, in fact, it is time to move forward. And i'm okay with that, even though I still have feelings for my long hair, and in my heart desire long hair. It just wasn't worth the hardships it brought on. The hair could not fix itself. Something has to happen from within. I had to desire for the hair to be changed. Then I had to follow through with the act. I am at peace now.
p.s. I had an amazing campainers with the Young Life guys tonight. God is about to bring some serious healing. BAM!! It is so good to see these guys open up. God is good, even when I am an idiot or forget, God is right there to lovingly remind me and throw down some serious grace. GRACE IS GOOD! GRACE IS GOD!