Friday, March 12, 2010
an update finally
I haven't updated since Tuesday. The main reason is that I have been hurt that Mr. Anonymous thinks that I make things up. This has really hurt me. I wouldn't ever, EVER put anything in this BLOG that I don't experience in real truth. That's just how it is. If you don't think that is true, then go the heck away and don't read about my life.
But along with that gift God has given me to see his hand at work first hand comes a sort of weight. A responsibility that others may not experience. I have been sort of sad today, and the past several days. Maybe it is seasonal, maybe it is situational, I dunno. But, I do know that I have been down. I miss Janice, and my feelings for her are still there. Shoot, my love for her is still there. And with that I still know that the decision I made to break away from her was what I needed to do, there is just a lot of confusion and "eesh'ness" there and surrounding that situation.
Today I did a lot of running around to do. I had a lot of 'things' to do for Nicky. I got him into something really really good. I can't go into specifics, but God is doing something amazingly good/awesome/radical. It is so cool that God allows me to see his glory at work first hand. Dang am I lucky.
I'm confused with where God has me. Like, with kids and the people he has in my life and mine in theirs I totally get. BUT, I suppose I struggle with some of the other things. I put so much stress on my parents, especially financially. That sucks, but I dunno. I am ready for the sun and warm to be out again.