Through great weakness God has made me strong. Struggle ensued this morning right from the get go. 6AM and the "emotional roof" I was standing under crumbled in on me. I was angry, I was confused, and I did not turn directly to God. With time, and patience I eventually surrendered (all happened within 1.5 hours. A quick realization to say the least. I left my house at 6:40AM with my dad, I got donuts, dropped my dad off at work, and then went to Snider. I was supposed to meet Ben (Young Life leader), but he accidentally slept in. It was good though, I needed to go at this alone. I was more alive and welcoming this morning than ever before. I got extra donuts because I felt like I would need them. It is funny, as the kids start to trust me, and know I am not just some weirdo passing out donuts, they start to take more. The first time Ben and I did this, we hardly got through 4 containers, maybe 3 at best. This morning I went through 6 containers solo. Kids talk to me more, and really like that I am there. They often ask me, "why do you do this?" I tell them, "because I love making you guys smile," or "I just love being able to love on people." It is extraordinary. I went to school, where I am at right now. It is 9:59AM, and I should be studying Religion & Culture, but I am having trouble focusing. I have had so many "God encounters" already this morning, that I am blown away YET AGAIN at the power of my God. When I am weak, if I only rely on HIM for my EVERYTHING, he always comes through. I have no earthly reason to be smiling or fulfilled, but I am. I crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me, the life I live in the body, I live through faith in the Son of God, who loves me and gave himself for me. Galations 2:20 baby!!! I am blessed. Amazingly blessed. It is powerful when you live by the Holy Spirit, and you allow Him to direct your every action. I'm in it, and I don't ever want to get out.
Today has been one of those days. The kind that would be nice to forget, but you know you won't because you have to learn from it and move forward. Life can be difficult at times. I'm okay with that. My finger sure does hurt though. So does my emotions.