Friday, January 12, 2007

the frustration continues.

I get so worked up inside. Okay, so I am kind of frustrated with my circumstance right now. Not even that I have m/s, just that I have to live at home and be very unsatisfied. Like, right now my life is kind of in limbo. This is why: I have a very aggressive form of multiple sclerosis. And because of that, I can either keep on the medication that isn’t working, or I can get this stem cell transplant. Either way there are no promises. But here is the hard part. I feel like I am friggin stuck at home. I want nothing more than to be out of my parents house. I had a taste of freedom, and I loved it. I mean I royally screwed it up, but I loved being out of the house and making my own decisions. I feel like I can’t leave the house because if I do, then some how I will lose my dads insurance, then I can’t pay for the medicine’s that aren’t working. Are you starting to see why I am so frustrated inside? Also, when something bothers me, it really effects more than one aspect of my life. The more I stress out about stuff, the worse my M/S gets. Living at home is like a double edge sword. Ahhhh! It is all simple stupid stuff, things I know god can take care of. I just need to wine. Poor me. Ok, I feel a little better now.

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