Gimme a break

Okay, i did not like today. To be perfectly honest i am feeling really down. It's like my whole life is on "pause" for this Stem-Cell transplant. I was almost gettin a lil depressed. It's like this. If i had my way I would definately not be living with my parents in Fort Wayne. Now, i am treated like a king in this house, i have everything i could ever want, and then some. But you know the old saying, "home is where the heart is?" Well, my heart is not here. My heart isn't even in this state. I need to be on my own, i need to experience life at my own pace. I got pretty down today, not like scary depressed, like I wanna go smoke a joint kinda feeling. As soon as i felt that urge, i prayed. It worked, but i still don't want to be here. Pretty much i am just having a pitty party. Who knows what God has in sotore for me. I mean really, i know it will be crazy. It always is. He never lets me down. ;+)