It's happening again

I can feel it coming on again. I hate it, I usually wouldn't want to recognize it as a problem, but I have been down that road before, and I know it's nothing to mess with. I can see and feel the symptoms of depression coming on again. Maybe the environment I have been in lately has pushed it out. I know what it stems from, because it has hit me hard before. One of the biggest side effects of AVONEX is depression. I know my body well, and I am sure of what I feel. I can see it coming on by the physical signs; weight gain, appetite, foul attitude towards certain people or activities. I can feel it coming on by the way I think, I lay around and feel sorry for myself which is not part of my normal personality. Like I said, I have been down this road before, and was prescribed several Anti-Depressants until we (my doc. & I) felt we found one that was working to help the problem areas. The only thing is this, that is foolish and doesn't help. I do believe that Anti-Depressants have their place, especially with people who are born with a chemical imbalance. But that is not my situation, for me a foreign chemical is causing that imbalance...the AVONEX. So my heart tells me to stop the AVONEX and see what the Stem Cells will do with out it's so called "help." Ughhh, here comes the hard part though. The Indiana Center for Multiple Sclerosis would not approve of this action. The only thing that is keeping me from discontinuing my AVONEX right now is the fact that I don't understand why the depression came back. I have been off the Prozac for a long time. I haven't even felt these feelings for quite some time, shit this sucks. I feel like when I have a job, and a goal, life is simplified. I don't have so much time on my hands to think and make things so complicated.

What to do......

What to do......

Tomorrow I think I am going to call the Indiana Center for M/S and tell them what I want to do, and ask them the best way for me to come off of the AVONEX. I know one thing though, going on Prozac or some other drug is not an option. If I can take care of this before it becomes a problem, maybe things will level off quick. BUT, the problem is.....I have to ask myself, "what if the Avonex is doing it's job?" after I ask myself that, I remember that I have had multiple exacerbations while on the drug.......

what to do.......