Monday, April 06, 2009

Merideth, location, and decisions

On Mondays and Fridays, I pick my sister Merideth (non biological sister, the one I grew up with all my life) up and take her to work. I have been doing this ever sense she got her 2nd DWI (Driving While Intoxicated). And, well she is really picky about me taking pictures of her lately. I don't know if it is because she knows I will put it on my BLOG or what. She use to love to read my BLOG. She does not read it anymore. :o(I love my sister Merideth so much, my heart just aches for her always. I wish she expressed her feelings about things. I wish I could get her to talk about things. It is so hard for me to witness to her, or anyone close. I think mostly it is because I am so afraid of failure. Ya know, like I am just so afraid that it will be something that I won't say, or maybe say wrong that will keep her from getting to know God. This way of thinking is of course lies that Satan uses to decieve us, but they work sometimes. I sure do love Merideth, and if the only way I can show it to her is by picking her up 2 times a week, and taking her to work, well so be it. I will get her breakfast while I am at it. From Arbys, like she said she likes. When I got to school to do some studying, I felt like seeking out a new study location. I did just that, not only did I go into a building that I had never studied in before, I choose a type of seat that I had never studied in before (not the exact seat, but the type of seat I am referring to). Yea, I tried it out. I even got through chapter 20, but it was loud in there, and people were just all loud and stuff. I was a fool not to go to the library. Sorry Helmke, I won't turn my back from you again (Helmke is the name of the library on campus, and i'm not really sorry).

(CLICK ON PICTURE TO ENLARGE AND READ MESSAGE)

I was really looking forward to going to BSF all day today. I had really been applying things from the lesson through out my daily life. For instance, the guy Aung that I talked to on Thursday. The gentlemen from Berma. Well I saw him again at the library, and we talked, and just tonight, he called me. It was so exciting to speak with him on the phone. Now I have his cell phone number, and it is just a good place to start. I hope to have the opportunity to tell him what is most important in my life at some point.

Back to BSF though. I really looked forward to the lecture, the notes were awesome, and I had great discussion in my small group. BUT, I wanted to hear what Jack had to say. He of course had so much very enlightening things to get accross, and I wanted to ask his opinion on Tom once he was done with his lecture. I told him a bit about what I had experienced at Starbucks with Tom. I gave him a slight peek as to what decisions Tom was making and what not, but mostly wanted his opinion as to why I felt so sure of what "God" was telling me with Tom @ Starbucks. . . . . . . I had a complete heart change with Tom. I had to take back my affirmation, and explain to Tom today that I do not feel as though he is making a correct decision. I had to explain that he was not acting within the context of a responsible Christian man with regard to his relationship with his fiance. He started dating her 6 months ago, he wants to elope, and get married A.S.A.P. There is so much more to the story than that, but he stepped down from his position as a staff member with Young Life so he could go ahead with his decision. And, after the hours and hours of spending time with him and talking about it on Saturday. I think it could have very well drained me, and put me in the mental state of mind that detracted me from really hearing what God had to say. Why I felt those extreme feelings like I did, well I still do not fully understand. I do know God is teaching me something, and I am praying that he continues to reveal what that is exactly. When I talked to Tom today. I explained my new stance. That I believe he is acting impatiently. That if she is as important to him as he says she is, then he will practice discipline and patience. That he will respect authority, and not just justify his decisions. It was really hard to tell him, but I am not the only one, not by a long shot. He got pretty cold with me. That hurt, but I understand he needs his space now. The situation just sucks.

I hope I didn't just massively confuse everything. If you don't get it, ask me specific questions, and I will do my best to explain.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

could i politely ask, do these people ask for your opinions on their life or their problems, or do you take it upon yourself to try to "enlighten" them in what and how they should act or live their lives? just wondering from a outside perspective if maybe you don't come on too strong as everyones savior who has answers to everyones problems, when in fact you are just a young man seeking lifes answers himself..maybe thats why some of these situations occur that offend others when you voice your opinion..i don't know and i know that you appear to sincerely want to help others, "BUT" maybe its time to concentrate on "mikey" and your life for awhile so you can get where you need to be, and then maybe you will have even more of an ability to reach out to these people, and they will respond the way you would like..as a person older than you i can see that sometimes it would be hard to take advice from someone so young who has yet to experience lifes trials..i can see you meen well, but maybe take a step back and see how you come across to these people, and in that you will find your answers..thank you for reading

Anonymous said...

by the way on a light note, if you knew me you probably wouldn't want to listen to my rants or take advice from me because i am far from a religious person, although i do believe in God, but i do thank you for your posts and for replying to me on occasion..maybe someday we will meet..it would be my pleasure....
ps..dude you look like kris allen on american idol..check it out

Mikey said...

Christ taught to go out and make disciples of all nations. Men are sinful, and will always be that way. I will never be perfect, it's impossible. So, I will continue to do things just the way I am doing them. If you read 1 timothy 4, you would better understand. One part I would like to highlight for you is this>>> Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. You have got to understand, if I did not love people so much, I would not try to live the way I live. It would be so much easier and funner to go out and drink with the good ole boys, to have sex with a bunch of really attractive women (I go to a school where that would be very easy). BUT, I have found meaning in life. I know, without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus can institute a change that is like no other. I will continue to live out my faith until I die, where death will actually bring life. Apostle Paul says in Philippians 1:21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. I may offend some, most I am able to persuade in love and patience. I am learning as I walk through life. When I learn things, I make changes. But I will never stop spreading the Truth of Jesus Christ, nor will I slow down.

On a personal note for you>> If I knew you, I would talk with you as long as you were honest and sincere in your talk with me. I love all people, at least I try to.

Anonymous said...

theres that ever present tinge of uppity sarcasm again. anything about that in the bible?

Mikey said...

No sarcasm, I am sincere in what I said.

Anonymous said...

i would talk to you as long as you wished to talk regardless of what you had to say or what i thought of it, and regardless of if i felt you were being sincere or not. some things transcend personal opinion and just plain manners apply. that would be the proper way to act as an adult, "at least i try to" act as a adult. thanks.. i think i may leave your blog for your good now because i don't feel i can bring any more to you, and i don't think you want to hear..i may check in on occasion to see how you are, and i hope you will be well and happy..thanks for the replys and the thoughts..God Bless and Happy Easter

Mikey said...

Okay, thanks for reading.

Anonymous said...

way to run off anyone who gives you constructive criticism or a differant point of view. eyes and ears wide open and mind wide open help a person grow. i think you lost a good source of inspiration, but i bet you don't care