infusion, kitty and puke

An odd title for a BLOG post I must admit, but fitting none the less. I had my 7th infusion of TYSABRI today. It was nice, and I had a very delicious while I waited.Ya know that the darn sticky tape hurts about three times as much as the actual needle and hour long infusion. I'm not kidding! I have kind of hairy arms, so when that thing gets jerked off, it hurts like heck!! I usually say, "ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch" in my head of course. I just grin and bear it with sort of a half smile bulgy eye, tilted brows sort of look. But it eventually ends.

When I was finishing up at work, I got a phone call from my mom asking if I would pick up some pizza on my way home. I did, and when I got home I saw the strangest sight. There was a Siamese cat sitting on the hand railing in the front of our house. Just looking into the house. It was such a strange sight, I just had to snap a picture of it.Well, after the cat sighting, I contemplate a difficult decision. To go to the Snider game (homecoming) or go work out. I was just not in a very happy smiley energetic mood....so I chose the latter of the two and went to the Y to work out. That decision backfired on me. Ya see I had 5 pieces of pizza. And well Mozzarelli's Pizza isn''t exactly the leanest pizza on the block. It is quite greasy and fatty. It tastes so good though! 5 was too much, and the cramps continued to tell me this the whole time I was working out. I really didn't feel like riding a bike for 25 minutes tonight, so instead I decided to go for a run. The YMCA has this trail that is 1.8 miles that goes all around the property and what not. It's a nice trail, and I got some really good quiet time in with God while I was on it. But, definately puked 5 times. So much for burning off those calories! Then, on my way home I got a chance to see the most pecuilure of sights. It was the charger cop car that got my attention at first, then I saw why he was stopped.....Check this out.Now I COULD tell you about the Bar that the driver was probably coming from. I COULD also tell you about how the driver was not at the site because he had "somewhere to go" and the lady talking to the officer was kind enough to stay. But I am not going to, because I don't need to make assumptions or anything of that nature. He sure did a number on that median though.

God is so good. I got a letter in the mail again from a friend who is in a really healthy place, and well it gave me so much joy.

Bountiful frosting lake of blue and orange

Today was average to say the least. I followed the Thursday routine. Work in the AM (6:30-8:40), then my OLS class (9:00-10:15), then straight to my Phil class (10:30-11:45). As soon as I got out of philosophy I went straight to the computer lab to work on some things that needed to be accomplished, a STUDY TIME if you will. I had a bag of granola that served as my lunch. I didn't budget time to go back home before afternoon work (3:00-6:00PM). I got the things that needed to be accomplished, finished and was happy with that. Once I got out of work I went home and ate some much needed dinner.

I had the Urine problem again today, if it continues I am going to have to tell my neurologist. I don't want to risk the chance of getting a Urinary Tract Infection again...I say again because it has happened to me multiple times in the past. (BIG SIGH) If you can imagine what it would feel like to piss lava, well that is about what it felt like. Very ouchy!

After dinner I wanted to make it to the YMCA to get a good work out session in. I need to sleep through the night. Something I have not done for the past 2 evenings. I am dead now after that work out. On the drive to the Y, I encountered the most beautiful sky. I just had to share it. The majestic swirls of orange, pink, blue and gray swept the sky. It was hard to keep my eyes on the road with such a beautiful colors in the sky.

Anyways, that is a beautiful sky and that was my beautiful day.

It can't be....can it?

This morning we had the kids color pictures and enter them into a contest. I was asked by several children why I wasn’t drawing a picture. I responded, “Well, I don’t know, I guess I can draw a picture.” So I did. Here it is in all its beauteousness.There is my little Mexican Boy. Starting off this morning I had a horrible head ache(first oddity). It was not a normal feeling pain either. I know this pain, and it is the pain before the MonSter attacks. Immediately I told myself, that I mustn’t think like that. It is always best to keep an optimistic point of view. What good does worrying do? So, I go to class and gain insight and humor from my Eng W233 prof. He does such a great job of connecting the class together. I look at the way people watch him when he speaks, and they know he cares for them. Being sincere has such a way to impact people, a beautiful thing really.Well, as soon as class was over I had to go to the little boys room. This is where I started to lose my optimism for just a moment. I had to go to the restroom, it was getting close to being and EMERGENCY. I held my composure though, then when I stood at the toilet..........nothing is happening. I have to go so badly, but my body is locking up on me. I thought I was done having this problem!! I thought this was in the past, that I didn't have to worry about this anymore because of the Tysabri. I think I thought wrong. I prayed over it, and went to Snider to get in some contact work during their lunch times.This is the entrance of the High School that I always go through. I met up with some kids that I am starting to form relationships with, and it made my day to see them. It's all worth it right there, to see a kid have his day brightened just because someone chose specifically to impact him or her. That is what it is all about. Relational ministry is a very real and powerful thing. Quoting scripture and biblical knowledge has it's place, this shouldn't ever be overlooked. BUT, it's the "people aspect" that I thrive on. God is going to do so much through Young Life this year, I can just sense it.

I went back to work, and my head was pounding, and my urine was trickling. BUT, the kids always make me so happy. The "possible" health issues aren't anything big either. The pure fact that I am even mentioning them is more or less because I want to have documented evidence for my Neurologist and my own records. When work got out, I went and saw my cousin Matt. If you are an avid reader, you might remember Matt from this post, ~CLICK ME~ Well, because matt just recently went through some serious drama with his sister and her estranged boy friend/babies' daddy. Well, he got the boot, and is now living in a motel in a place that I can not mention just in case someone is reading.......Anyways, here is matt now.Now if you click on that picture, you might be able to enlarge it and see the war wounds from the accident. He has a gnarly scar that runs right through his right eye. God bless him he is trying hard. I told him, "man we are family, I am going to do everything I can to help you out." He just needs support and love to help keep him out of "THAT LIFESTYLE." I remember praying over him when he was coming in and out of consciousness while in the hospital. I have real love for him, and he is trying so hard to do right. I have to respect that, and do all that I can to help him where he is at. What a great ministry opportunity as well. If you pray, say a prayer for my cousin Matt. That God provides, and that Matt takes in order to better himself.....whatever that may mean.

the lawn mower is to the grass, like sand is to the beach.

I did the whole work and school thing today, then I came home and mowed the lawn like I promised my dad. It's been a while since I have mowed the lawn, but I actually enjoy mowing for some reason. I didn't get a chance to study today, It is not a good thing either because I have plenty to study for. I need to continue to prepare for my first OLS test, among other things.

I had a date today! Yes, that's right I had a date today. Well, sort of....Ya see, one of my really good friends mom is going through some things right now that are making life kind of "out of the ordinary" difficult. Well, I talked to Britt (friend), and asked her if I should stop by and meet with her mom. I have always gotten along so well and like her so much, it just seemed like the right thing to do. So, I sent her an E-Mail over the weekend, and we set it up so she would cook dinner for me and we could chat. We did just that, and I have to say, she is in a much better place than I expected her to be. The thing that is difficult in her life right now is the fact that after 29 years of marriage, her husband left her. Well, I expected to see her down in the dumps and in a really low state of mind. It was quite the opposite. There was one thing that overcrowded all the rest of the conversation. A verse she put on a stone and hung it in her kitchen.

Ephesians 6:10

Be strong in the Lord and His mighty power.

That is why things are keeping together for her they way they are. It was so good to see that. SO GOOD!! After we got done eating the FISH she made for me (I LOVE FISH). I got to eat this amazing dessert. :-) ummmmm, life is good. When I got home, I passed out, because I was more than tired. I had a full tummy and was just DONE.

MOON, grasshopper, Dad

I woke up this morning and looked out the front door (which faces East) and saw this light peering over the tops of trees. It was so crazy bright, it looked like stadium lights or a large city off in the distance. There was a glow to it, and it was captivating. I leave the house for work around 6:15AM, and let me tell you, the moon was BIG. It was a full moon, and the clouds were daunting to say the least. I'll explain it the best way for my own memory, then i'll try to expand on it. It was like a Nickelodeon Halloween special program. The clouds drifted eerily across the sky. The full moon shown so brightly behind the clouds, I felt like a black cat and a grave yard should have been around the bend. Maybe with a swing moving back and fourth with no human in sight. Humm, it's feeling more and more like fall every day. As I had almost exited my addition, I had to at least attempt to take a picture of it. Keep in mind, this was taken with my cell phone.I think that this picture gives the general idea of what I am talking about. The sad part is you don't get the really awesome looking effect of the big slow moving clouds creep in front of it.

Work was good, and then came class. I was challenged.I think I am going to re-visit the topic of my big paper in my English class. I thought I had a topic all picked out and was settled on it. BUT, my professor challenged me today in class by some of the things he said. I think I want to write about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I think that is what I want, that is something I am passionate about. And, it will be fun to learn and put authentic interest on paper. I will be able to write on this topic, stay interested, learn, and be motivated. In my opinion, these are all major advantages when writing a paper.

Got home from class, went to work out at YMCA and had something "funny," eeesh happen. Well, I had just bench pressed 185lbs 4 times. I wanted to get 6 reps in, but couldn't muster up the strength. Being the determined individual that I am, I took off 10lbs making it 175, and tried to get in 4. If I could have accomplished that, I would have been happy and content. I got it up 2 times, and it would not go up again. (big sigh here & a little giggle) Well, there were two freaks of nature next to me benching 345lbs, and as I struggled with my weight on my chest, I said in a sheepish voice, "ummm, hey guys do you think you could give me a hand?" They both had head phones on, but luckily another guy saw my struggle and came to my rescue. The moral of this story is......either have a spot, or bench an amount that you know you can get up.

Work was awesome, and I really love children...A LOT! I am so going to make an awesome father. We got to play outside today, which was nice because it is going to start getting kind of chilly outside, so there probably won't be too many of these days left. Anyways, there was a grasshopper on the play ground equipment, and the kids were just fascinated by it. They would scream and squeal about how HUGE it was. I had to snap a picture of it.

Then I was off to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), which was stupendous. It was so much fun to go over the notes for the past week, and get other peoples input, and thoughts on different scripture that we were challenged to get into. I really like the format of the accountability groups if you will. It is going to be really sweet to get to know these men on a deeper and more meaningful level.
This is a picture of my Dad taken while we were all in a big group listening to the lecture. It is just so cool that I get to go with my dad to BSF now. I know that in the past, especially when I was in High School; making really bad decisions, my father found comfort and support from places like BSF. It would not surprise me one bit if there are men in there who have lifted me up in prayer. And now I get to go to it and learn with him. Just a pretty cool picture ya know?

YL up & running

I woke up this morning at 8:30 I believe. Church doesn't start until 10:30, but I wanted to get some things done and go to church and then go to school and study before I had to go to a meeting on the South side of town (I live on the North), where the very first Young Life gathering would be held. I ended up sleeping in way to long, and not even going to Pathway like I wanted to. I did get over to school for maybe an hour and 45 minutes, but didn't accomplish much. I liked the meeting, although my heart was not in it completely. I really wanted to be at Dave church because my friend George finally agreed to go with me, and I was extremely excited. But, I had to call and tell him that I wasn't going to be able to make it this week/take him because of this first YL, start off the year assembly of old and new leaders. It was a good meeting because it was motivating and set the pace if you will for the year to come. I dunno, I should have been all in it though.

It rained some more today, I so enjoy driving in the rain though. I just don't like it when people crash because of poor vision or slippery conditions. When I am able to drive without any of those things happening though, I really love it to death.

After the meeting was over I high tailed it outa there to make it over to Collateral. I wanted to be with my brothers, and get some church in. So I did, and we were going over MOSES. I guess they are going to start a small study on Moses. Guess I just can't get enough of that guy. ;-) Anyways, we went over Exodus 2-4 in brevity. This is what I walked away with.
Collateral, Moses, grace, mercy, willingness, power through Grace.

• Moses wanted to fight against God and His will for him. But you have to make major adjustments in your life to join God in what he is doing. Moses had to make some extreme changes in his life and heart in order to get in God's will. There was nothing special in or about Moses. He was just willing to accept God's challenge and will in his life. Once he accepted it, God did amazing things through him.
  

When collateral was over I went to Kroger with Matt and Brad and Brad got some food before we went over to Nick Hudsons house. Nick and his wife had put the children to bed, and we gathered, made some frozen pizza's and ate them. All the while enjoying each others company and conversation. It was really nice, and healthy. Mentally and spiritually healthy for me.

Rained some more

I started my Saturday off pretty early, and got my butt to school to get some study time. I want to be super prepared for my first test in OLS. I don't want to just assume his tests are going to be super easy like I think they will be, so I will be extremely prepared instead. Here was a picture I took during my lunch break. You can see the bottled water and Pop Tarts that I was eating. ;-)When I drove onto campus this morning, there were big huge balloons hanging and tons of people gathered out in the rain. I asked one of the officers what was going on, and he said it was a walk for heart health day. Apparently these were the people that were walking around for heart health awareness, or fund raising, i'm not too sure. But the walked, and made a lot of noise while they did it. Well, later in the day, once things were dryed off and it got really humid, my friend Tony wanted to go pick up this motor bike he bought. It get's like 80 MPG, and he is happy with it. I had to drive behind him, cuz it wasn't legal or anything.

After we got back to his house, We (Tony, Chris, Josh & myself) went and got hitch-hikers guide to the galaxy. It is a funny movie, and Mos Def is really funny in it. His character is quite enjoyable. It kind of slams religion, and just a lot of things, but the overall story is interesting and very witty. Josh kept slamming religion too. He claims to be Agnostic, but with many overtones of actually "knowing truth," but just not wanting to live by it. It's frustrating, because sometimes he puts out some some low blows....I usually just don't hang out with him or those guys for a long time. I'd rather be by myself than hear that constantly.

i'm going to do my BSF study and go to bed.

it's my Friday

I am finished with math for my college career. This is of great excitation to me because I am not in sync with mathematical excitability. Just let those 5 dollar words sink in for a second....good, okay so my thought is that I should try to sell my calculator before it becomes obsolete. I posted it on CraigsList.com and if anyone who reads this BLOG might be interested, or know someone who would be interested, I am willing to send it through the mail if need be.

When I was leaving school today after my morning English class, I saw this red escort in the parking garage, and well it reminded me of my friend Chris. He use to have an escort, and we had many good times in it. He always talked about how he wanted to "pimp" out that car, and make it all nice and rally worthy. This car just gave me a kick, so I wanted to be able to share it with others. Good stuff. That car was in good shape for a late 80's vehicle. Paint was perfect, it even had some nice lil rims on it. It reminded me of the good ole days. Chris and I have a lot of memories from that old car. His was silver, and a bit more beat up than this one, but I figured an escort is an escort. Some of our friends use to really mess with him in the parking lot after school. One guy inpaticular (Eric), would go up to him and nudge him on when ever he had the opportunity to do so. Chris would get so furious, it didn't really matter, there were a million bumbs and scratches in that thing, but Eric knew it really set him off. One of the MANY memories I have of that car. Another one was when Chris and I were coming back from sking in Michigan. He had a little tiny crack in his windshield, more towards the passenger side. On the way back, I decided to test it's strength. I made a fist with my hand, and gave it a punch. Well, as soon as I made contact with it, the tiny crack (made probably from a rock falling off a truck), turned into a full blown, full length crack from top to bottom in a matter of minutes. OOPS!! I remember laughing extremely hard and some type of liquid coming out of my nose. I think that may have been the same road trip where a bottle rocket was lit off in the car, while we were driving. OOPS, DIDN'T KNOW THE WINDOW WAS DOWN!!! lol. So many of these types of memories associated with his old car.

It has been raining like crazy today. It started last night, and has not stopped. I mean like a constant drizzle at all times, with some spots of HARD RAIN. I saw an accident on the way home from work. One of the cars must have spun out, but man it hit a light really hard. I mean really hard. No one was hurt though, I saw both drivers out walking about. The first picture illustrates the size of the pole that was knocked down, and it's approximate position if it were still standing.
The second picture shows that the driver is still okay, and shows the pole lying next to the vehicle in the median area. Seriously, he must have been going fast, I am so thankful no one was killed.

My evening ended with a grand Bible study. I went with the guys, and boy we just talked about and read scripture that had really been talking and moving in our lives. It is so good to have that. I love those guys. The prayer time we had tonight was amazing! The Holy Spirit was in that room. I laid on the ground, to just humble myself before the Lord by making myself as low as I possibly could. The prayers of the men in the room were sincere and powerful. They were of gratitude, appreciation, thanks, awe, hope, thirst and humbleness. Also, Matt (the Matt that has been struggling with Wife and things) is in a place of peace and change. Also, he hasn't talked to his brother in months. His bro has separated himself from Matt. Well, he called Matt last week out of no where. Told Matt that he had made changes in his life, that he had accepted Christ's path, and wanted to know how to study scripture. :-O Matt was blown away, completely blown away. He has been praying for his bro for so long, and BAM, just like that God grew that seed. Man's calling may be to plant the seed or water it, BUT, only God can grow it. It sprouted in Mark (Matt's bro) and it is just so powerful to see things like that unfold.

house=money

Had a good day. A real good day. At school, because my OLS professor had a death in his family, we canceled class for the week. Well, it gave my group a chance to get together and start out on the project. I think the meeting went as well as expected. I am going to be taking the majority of the work load, but it is the kind of project where it kind of does get thrown on the leadership of the group. I am more than happy, and able to do that, so I am going to.

At work, I got some quality time to play with the little kiddies. DANG, were they ancy today. Not a one of them could sit still worth two spits in a tin can. But, that is what I love about them. Through their craziness, I see myself and am able to love them through it.

I was tired when I got home. Just worn out from studying and playing, and reading, and typing all the stuff that fills an average day for me. Stuff I love, don't get me wrong, but it is actually pretty wearing on a guy. Having to be constantly aware of kids; what they are doing, where they are at, how they are interacting with each other and their surroundings, and watching for EVERYTHING can be vexing to say the least. Not a complaint in the least, I wouldn't trade my life for nothing!

SO, being 21, living at home with my parents (rent free) I am able to see just what life costs. I see that a new roof needs to be in place, and what all is entailed with that. I see repairs, landscaping, bills, mortgage, etc. Well, today my mudda and fada had to purchase a new hot water heater. Slam bam thank you ma'am, it broke, they had to buy a new one. I am so thankful they are able to do that, and especially thankful I am able to wreap the benefits that water heater provides...for FREE. But, it all just adds up like crazy. It really is a reality check when I think about what I want to be able to provide for my family. Dang, I am gonna keep working for that goal. The light at the end of the tunnel will get bigger eventually. Patience and endurance will show me favor in the long run. I am in a good situation, and I am so thankful for that.

I went to work out at about late 8ish tonight. I ran into some guys I knew from high school. They were younger than me, maybe 2 years younger or maybe 1, i'm really not positive. It was good though. One of them told me he was taking a break from school. It appears he fell off the band wagon in his first year of college. Well, I knew his situation all too well, and heard him out. Before I could even really start hearing it all, he told me that he found God, and is living his life in accordance with His will. "There ya go," is pretty much what I said, and we parted our ways. It was neat though, and a nice reminder that God is just a working all over the place. Umm, I like that.

You gotta try this

Hint(Click the picture to enlarge it in a separate window)
Hint 2(it's the blinking that really brings it out)

This really is super cool. My grandma sent me this picture along with some other illusions in an E-Mail, and I just had to share it. Do exactly what the instructions say, it really works good on a white or near white colored wall. Doesn't have to be a huge surface. But when you are concentrating on the 3 dots, don't let your eyes wonder, and you will really see it good. I didn't think it would work, but when it did I started laughing because it was so clear.

Today was jam packed, but it was so good. I woke up, went to work, and then school, THEN, I went to Snider again for some contact work at lunch time. I LOVE IT! I got my butt back to school and studied, studied, studied for an upcoming test in my OLS class. As soon as I was done studying for the day, I went to work and then home. Once home I ate and STUDIED THE BIBLE!! A bit of Genesis, talking about Jacob's kiddo's, and talking about mercy, and some other awesome traits. I'm not sure how much I am suppose to talk about the actual lesson plan. The main leader guy said that all the lesson plans are copyrighted, and so I will have to ask about that next Monday. I can say this, the Holy Spirit will show up every time you sincerely want it to. When I was done with BSF reading and writing, I went to the YMCA and worked out till it was about closing time. Now, I am extremely tired and just bet I will be able to sleep AGAIN, like I did last night. I really did sleep super well last night, and dreamed, and it felt good. I did watch about 25 minutes of some T.V. when I was riding the bike at the Y, I dunno if that counts though. Anyways, G'Night!

Twisted it right up

In my philosophy class, it got all twisted up. Ughhh, it was quite frustrating, but I kind of dug a hole for myself. We were referring to Plato's Republic and Feminism and how people at the top of the decision and thinking class make all the decisions, and how they lie sometimes for the "better good." A load of crap in my opinion, but never the less, the topic at hand. The prof wanted present day examples, and I offered up my 2 cents about how Obama seems to me not to give give up information about his heritage, which is actually his father (born in Kenya) and mother (born in Kansas) which would make him half white, half black. Anyways, I was trying to make reference to that drawing in the New Yorker that was published not too long ago. I suppose I was kind of hinting to the fact that if Obama doesn't have any thing to hide, then why not offer as much information as possible. I dunno, it was probably a supid comment. I paid for it too, I was made to be a racist against Arabs and ughhh, I learned my lesson on that. The moral of this story, "think it through 5 times before you talk."

Anyways. I woke up this morning, and Ga$ was 3.69, after 2PM it sky rocketed to $3.95!! AHHHHHH!! I needed to fill up too. DO'OH!!

I didn't watch t.v. today, and I had to find new and interesting ways to fill my time. Tonight at 9:00PM I wanted to sit down and watch some telie, but instead I went to the YMCA and worked out for a bit. I thought it maybe would make me a little sleepy so I wouldn't have any trouble falling asleep, and wouldn't have to take any nasty sleeping medication or anything. We will see here in a little bit.

I texted my sister, who has been in MA./NYC. for the past week visiting her biological family for the the first time. She called me back and we talked about it for ohh maybe 35 minutes. It sounds like she had an amazing experience. She got to see the city right good, and her biological ties were good to her. She got to see her biological parents grave sites, and got to experience some of her heritage. Which, to an adopted kid/adult/anyone is extremely important. I would know, i'm adopted TOO! So it was good to talk with mer, and I think I am going to try to go to bed now.I envy people who can sleep easily. Seriously I wish I had that so bad. Shutting down the brain is such a slow and daunting process for me.

Funny/enlightening thing happened today at work. There was this little girl, maybe 5 or 6, possibly seven but i'm thinking she is a first grader. It was the first day she had been to YMCA afternoon childcare. Well, every month we are suppose to do something for for the community. This month because of a certain tie to someone over in Iraq, we decided to have the kids write thank you letters to people in the military. It was going nicely and one little girl had an especially touching picture and letter. It was a picture of her and her "daddy" holding hands. It said, please be safe and cum home soon so I can see my daddy. I asked her how long her father had been gone. I kind of got out of her that it was over a year. When her mother came to pick her up (who I ended up knowing), I asked her where her husband was stationed. She gave me a stranger look and said, "excuse me? My husband works at a restaurant in Auburn (near by city) as a manager." I explaiend as to my inquiry, and she kind of shook her head and told me that sometimes her little girl likes to "tell stories." WOW!! That little one was quite the extrovagant lier!!! I bought it, hook, line and sinker too.

G'Night......I hope

this and that

The day started off as usual. Work, then English class. Then I had some time to blow, got my hair cut ya know. I had a nice little surprise when I was walking into Great Clips, my best friend Jared was working at Higher Grounds next door. Well, he saw me walk into G/C and came over to say hello. I told him I would be over to chat as soon as the lady was done clipping.
It was really nice. And, this picture of Higher Grounds Coffee shop is the actual store Jared works at. I knew he was picking hours, but I didn't have any idea it was at this specific location. Ya see, there is a HG coffee on campus of my school, and I just assumed that was the only one he was working at. But all to my big surprise, he saw me!! It was cool to chat it up with him. We chatted it up about an "event" he has planned. I can't say any more because I am not sure if a particular someone reads this BLOG or not. So, until later when plans are more confirmed, I must keep my mouth shut. I didn't really have anything to work on, so after I got done with hair cut and talking, I went home, but watching T.V. was not an option, so I went to the YMCA to work out for a bit.It felt god to pump some IRON!! Some of the guys around me thought I was kind of strange because I took a picture of myself, BUT that's alright, I got nothing to prove.

I started BSF tonight. It was so cool because I got to sit with my dad, who has been involved for about 14 years. I am excited for this years study. It is over the life of Moses. That would be Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. We aren't going to be doing Genesis, because that is a study within itself. It is so cool and keeps you accountable in by being in the word every day. Questions, and it is just super sweet! I get to do it with my dad too. That is awesome!!! He has been praying for me for such a long time, and now he gets to enjoy BSF with his son. That is a beautiful picture. A picture of hope and endurance in Christ. BEAUTIFUL!

FINAL REFLECTION day # 14

14 of 14, yep that is what today is. The stretch of the two weeks has ended. It’s time for a conclusion I suppose. I should probably sum things up. Well, just a reminder for the readers (you) and myself, I’ll give a quick recap. And I will give the Thesis that I should have given to start this out with. But, better later than never I suppose.

Thesis: To examine my thoughts and actions in hopes to find ways to get a little closer to Christ.

(Recap)

1. To rid my life of things I KNOW need not be in it.

2. To constantly strive to see women as Christ see's them. To pray over that constantly.

3. To surrender my temper.

4. To allow God to be the ultimate authority in my life, and respect the earthly ones who are over me.

5. To love ALL PEOPLE.

6. Fight to find JOY in all situations.

7. To be comfortable being patient.

8. To really surrender a relationship with that "special someone" over to God.

Cool lesson I learned today at Dave church. God want's us (believers) to be connected and on the same page with things. Listen, I am tired and sleepy so I am just going to put this awesome verse up. John 17:20-21 This is dinner at Daves after Dave church. The smiley guy is Dave. The cutie sitting next to him is Rach (she's the younger one) and the beautiful woman is Margie, then closest is the bold and beautiful Richard. What a wonderful crew. We make a good team, it is very good for me to be a part of. I gain comfort and insight from Dave every single time I go over there. I am quite thankful for you Dave Pelz. :-)

After I went to Dave church, I couldn't go to Interogation/Collateral because I had to get to the school library and write this paper for English class tomorrow. It got done, and I am super happy. I went home and watched T.V. till it was spilling out my ears. I suppose I had to get my "fix." You'll read why....if you keep reading just a little bit more.

~REFLECTIONS~

1.) T.V.!! It is everywhere. I can't seem to have peace and quiet for more than 2 seconds. If I wake up in the morning, and am having a bowl of cereal or whatever, I turn on the T.V. If I have 15 minutes before I have to leave for work, I turn on the T.V., When I could be studying the word, or school, I watch T.V.! I watch too much.

R 1.) I think it's time for a break. I am going to take this very serious. I am taking the next two weeks off...Well, I am turning the T.V. off for the next two weeks is what i'm trying to say. I am going to have to train my brian to do other things. I'll do it dag nabbit!! You just watch and see.

REFLECTION day # 13

But today is number thirteen (13) of fourteen (14) days in a journey or self examination and careful thought processing as to why I do certain things the way I do. The point of this was to take a break, and really examine why I do the things I do and what are the inner motives for doing them. And, I suppose I don't really even have a REFLECTION for today. Not on my own life and habits, but I do have a lot to share. Starting with this amazing radio conversation/video presentation. I am just in awe of this little one. In fact I look up to him, and desire to have that inner push to learn from mistakes. That is what this whole reflect stuff has been about. Being able to learn from mistakes and past wrong doings. Not for me to dwell on anything and beat myself up because of it, but to LEARN from it and become free from whatever "IT" might be. I do know this. I can never be free if God is not in it. I'm rambling, so I am just going to post this and you can listen to what Logan has to say about this subject.
It's the simple childlike faith, and the deep sense of honest pains that attracts me to Logan. Like the radio announcer said, Logan is far wiser than he knows. He is about twenty steps ahead of the game if he continues in that way of thinking.

So, I got dressed and headed off to my school's library by 10:50AM. I got in there and started typing as soon as I sat down at a computer. I finished my first paper for my OLS class too. I think it's really well done also.
When I was done typing, I headed up stairs to a quiet spot, and I started reading. I read and read until I didn't have to read any more. It was long, and horribly boring. I was reading The Analects: by Confucius. And, it was just silly. I do not enjoy reading this material, nor do I feel like I gain anything from it. I'm in it to win it though. So, that is that. Here is a picture of me deeply entrenched in reading BLAness. Can you spot me? That picture was a bit blurry, I think because that sun was so darn bright. I guess I can't say I didn't learn anything. I learned that remonstrate means to plead in protest. When I got done with school activities, I went over to my friend Tony and Josh's house.Tony and I rocked out on these two classy bicycles. HA! The girl bike with the trendy basket was the one I rode. That bike belongs to one of my moms friends. I think she is borrowing it....Anyways, you might notice some string and a handle(tent stake) in the basket. You noticed correctly! That is for pulling Josh on his skate board. We went through the neighborhood. Now, remember I am 21 years old, both of those guys are 22. It was awesome though, just like back in the day when activites like this were common place, and life was a heck of a lot less complicated. Maybe life is only complicated because I allow it to get that way, or maybe it isn't and I just think it is. I'm not really sure. I do have one more picture to share though. The below picture is of me, Josh, Tony, Trouble (Tony's dog), and Chris (who is behind me, out of the picture). We are hiking through a nature preserve. I didn't even know it existed until today. It was out in the middle of no where, and was actually a lot of fun.It was such a beautiful day. And what a nice way to simmer it down to an end. After a day of study time, reading & writing, I get to go on a beautiful walk through a very quite and desolate forested area with friends and a good dog. Good conversation, laughs and so on. They all were going to go to Buffalo Wild Wings (BW3) for beer/food or whatever and to watch the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) title match, but I declined for whatever reason inside me said to.

REFLECTION day # 12

Did you know that today is the day that the Lord has made, I really will rejoice and be glad in that fact. Today is also the twelfth of a fourteen day series devoted to God and examining my inner daily workings with reference to how I see, act, and think on things in LIFE. I think that the word "twelfth" is a very funny word. So today started off like normal, I went to work and then went to school. When I was at school, I was complemented over and over by my English professor, because he is genuine and that is just his personality. He is a great guy, and really loves to encourage and motivate his students. I want to, "not let him down." And I won't either. It is going to be a good semester. When I got out of ENG W233-03, I felt like writing. I didn't have the material done for the next English assignment, so I started working on my OLS paper that is due on something like the 27th. It is about a man named Geert Hofstede. And his 5-cultural dimensions. It is pretty interesting actually, and I am enjoying working on it. I just got in the "write" mode, and couldn't stop it. Then I went back to work, where they were setting up for a huge carnivale.Yes in deedy, the kids were excited for this one. They had a dunk tank, bob for the apple, pie in the face, grill cooked burgers with all the right fixings, EVERYTHING a kid could want at a school carnivale. As soon as I got out of work, I went over to my friend Matt's house. He has since reconciled with his wife, and actually went to Indiana Beach over the Labor Day weekend. I think they are in a good place, and I think that Matt's heart for sure is. Anyways, I stopped by his house because he has not been returning my or any of the other guys calls. This is very unlike Matt's personality. As soon as I left Matt's house, I went to an empty parking lot and prayed and wrote for about a half an hour. Then I went to my Friday night Bible study. I was there forever, and Matt even came to that. The other guys were real glad he did, especially me!!I love the Bible. Dag nabbit it can be hard to start digging into sometimes, but once I sincerely do, I am always, ALWAYS fulfilled and satisfied. I love the insight and comments from the other guys as well.

~REFLECTIONS~
1.) There are so many beautiful women on my campus. I really desire a healthy relationship too. I mean, I really really do. But, I am not willing to give in to an un-Christ like relationship. A relationship that isn't completely built on the principals of Godly living, is not worth having. One with a female I am talking about of course. So, taking all of this into consideration, why do I still look at women the wrong way. I'm not only talking about lusting after them, but even wishing to have a relationship, just for the pure and simple fact to have "someone." It got to the point today, where I had to stop right where I was in the computer lab, and just take it to the Lord in prayer. I just asked that I could view them the way Christ views them. It was just put on my heart, and my eyes were not directed towards their hearts.

R 1.) I desire a relationship so badly, but at the same time, I have really released it over to Christ. (I know this kind of sounds like they aren't going together, but hold on) So, I think that creates a bit of conflict, it's the conflict of FLESH vs. CHRIST-LIKE HEART. It is a constant battle, one I only have a chance of surviving if I take it to the Lord on a DAILY BASIS.

It's beautiful that I am able to do that though. Christ died, so that I can take my problems and issues to Him on a daily basis. I got one word for that, WOW!

REFLECTION day # 11

Indeed today was the eleventh day of fourteen in my pause and reflect series. I am going to start out with a reflect time right away.

~REFLECTION~

1.) I got sTresSED oUt today! I think the reason that this specific stressor was so fore front in my mind is because I am on right now as I type. My compy has been acting funny, it's strange because I can always tell when something is "wrong" with my computer. It's like when your diabetic friend goes low. Maybe they don't starting talking crazy right off the bat, but there are slight nuances that just catch your attention. Well, that is exactly what was happening between me and the lap-top. I have all this expensive anti-virus and ad-aware software, so I was angry and stressed out because it wasn't finding anything wrong with the system. Well, I was disturbed because I just "KNEW" something was wrong but am not knowledgable enough to pin point it myself. It was really throwing me into a funk. Then I was just like, what the heck man, IT'S A COMPUTER!

R 1.) I just prayed about it. I let it slip into the background of my thought process, and when I got home from work I texted my friend Anita who is familiar with common computer problems. Well, she pointed me in the direction of Trend Micro's free House Call online program. It was awesome, found the issue and delt with it. Slam Bam thank you Ma'am! I trust God with my health, with my finances, with my transportation, with my schooling, but I won't trust him with my computer?? hummmmm, makes me want to list out my priorities in life and check the important ones, and take a good hard look at those so called "important ones" and see if they are actually important.

I have been getting head aches ever since the stomach thing went away. It's crazy because they are similar in start (how they come on) to M/S head aches. M/S head aches are the most horrible ones every. They are like migraines, well heck maybe they are in fact migraines. They come on super slow, but once in full effect they knock you off your feet. Usually vision get's blurry, and light of any sort is just unbearable. Like I said, they build slowly, but then they are capped off. They don't get horrible. I take Ibuprofen, and it seems to do the trick. I just hate taking that stuff too much.

I have a lot of reading to do in my Philosophy class. Stuff I hate reading too. For instance, Plato's The Republic...allow me to paraphrase the first fifteen pages. "The life of the unjust far outweighs in benefit the life of the just. If you can be unjust, and get away with it all along making people think you're just, you will be quite rewarded. It's the people in life who live justly who are screwed over with no ending reward." CRAP CRAP CRAP. But maybe it is helping me to think, see, understand, and not pounce all over other ideals and ways of thinking...I dunno, we'll see as the class progresses.

I didn't have time......excuse me, I didn't make time to get into the Bible today. I don't like that. I am going to be putting in place some preventative measures with BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) when it starts up on Monday. I am really looking forward to that.

i'm actually going to bed early tonight!

G'Night

REFLECTION day # 10

Guess what, today is day 10 of a 14 day walk to take a moment to reflect on the actions, words, decisions I have made through out an average day. I have been seeking guidance, not just for this specific 14 days, but for my life. The 14 days have just had heavy self accountability. It's been really good. And yes, I do still carry the notepad with me. I will continue to do so until the 2 weeks is up. Dang, I am listening to this re-mix of an old school song I have loved forever. I love Punk Goes Crunk!! CHECK IT OUT

Ya know what, I was so intensely happy today. I got to get back in the high school that I do my contact work with for Young Life. IT FELT SO GOOD to be back in the halls of Snider, and to see my friends. LOVE IT.This is one of the main halls that I spend a lot of time at. I love just talking with random kids, maybe kids who have their heads down, or look like the day or other people haven't been too kind to. There is just so much pain and potential coursing through the veins of high schools today. I just feel like I am suppose to be there. And trust me, there are plenty of other things I could be doing. BUT, I just see the challenge of walking into a cafeteria room filled with 600 kids and see faces that really need to be talked to. Faces that just need someone to listen and take interest. Christ will take care of the rest. If I can just plant a seed, boy oh boy, do you see the potential?So what does it look like for me to go into a cafeteria and love on kids? Well, here is a picture of some guys who I was able to create a rapport with last year, so they kind of knew what to expect. BUT, with new kids, especially freshmen who are so uncomfortable in their own skin they don't hardly know what to do...I usually just find a neutral topic to discuss, and expand from there. It is amazing what kids want to talk about. From The Wizzard of Ozz, to G.T.A. 4 It takes a bit of a talent to be able to feel comfortable around kids, and you can't be afraid of failing, because it is around every corner. BUT, for instance. One kid I had a chance to befriend last year, who was never even slightly interested in Young Life, or God for that matter wanted to meet me in the Parking Lot to just talk with me for a while. He only goes to school for a half day, and came back to the school property just so we could meet up for a bit to talk. We are gonna go and try to catch lunch one of these days soon. It's stuff like that that I thrive on. I never know how God is going to use me in a situation, I just have to make sure I am ready and willing at all times. Never to miss an opportunity ya know?

So, I went back to work then. I had a little bit of time to blow before I went and met up with some of the guys I took to camp this summer. And guess what??? IT RAINED LIKE CRAZY!!! I love storms so so so much, so I just had to drive around in it for a bit. I recorded some of the action. We haven't gotten rain in such a long time like this, I just had to soak it up for a bit. It rained cats and dogs for a while too.

And just so people know, I was on a private christian campus, where there was no one out. I may not have stayed on my side of the road, but I was actually being safe. Trust me on this one.

I went and picked up my buddy Corey (high school kid who I spent a lot of time with last year, and took to camp this summer) and we went and met up with Josh (Young Life area director) and some other guys who were also in the cabin this summer. It was good to see everyone's face and hear how they are doing.

THEN....

When I got done at the coffee house, I went to Nolan's (also another Young Life kid who went to camp this summer) house because 3 weeks ago he tore his ACL! Yeah, it sucks very much that it happened to him, but he is strong enough to be able to handle it and everything that is going to happen because of it. It was good to stop by and talk with his parents, and to just let him know that I am thinking/praying for him. It is good to know someone outside of the family cares. And I really do care, so I enjoyed stopping to see him a lot!

It is crazy how busy I can get once things get into the full swing of things. BUT, I did have time to reflect.


~REFLECTIONS~

1.) I want the quick fix. Not only in my life, but I want to fix everyone's life as well. Either I want to just see a problem and force my thought process or way of thinking on someone until it works. I get frustrated when people struggle, or when I struggle, and I know the best for them/me. BUT, the best isn't taken for whatever reason.

R 1.) I don't have patience. Patience in God, other people or myself. I need to just erase my thinking that everything follows a calendar. That is just not how it should or has to work. Every time I trust in God to take care of the time involved with a situation, I never fail. You can't fail that way, because no matter what you are going to be okay as long as your motives stay correct. This makes perfect sence in my head, I hope I am explaining it okay.

G'Night!

p.s. if you liked I WISH, you will really like Devil Wears Prada Re-Mix

REFLECTION day # 9

Today is day 9 of 14 on this reflective look at my spiritual life, personal traits and just behavior in general.

I felt a bit better today. Well, maybe. I woke up this morning and could only eat yogurt. I just couldn't stomach much more than that. So that was all I ate. I went right to work, BAM! 6:30AM, and I am with the little kids. It's early, but I love it. As soon as I get out of the AM shift for work at 8:40, I go straight to school. I had two classes today, first OLS (first class for my minor) and then Philosophy 111, which of course got into a God debate. I don't want to go into detail, because it would be pointless. I will just say that this woman wanted to argue the semantics of God & Christianity with a professor who has years and years of debating and arguing this sort of thing AND who doesn't hold the same thoughts as her. It ended poorly for her, to say the least. I did my best to stay out of it, because honestly, what would be the point. He was not downplaying God, or Christianity, he was just pointing out the "flaws" he had with it. People, especially Christians need to accept that there are going to be masses who think and feel otherwise. It is not up to US (people who are not God) to make them feel or think otherwise either. I felt like this woman had an agenda. It's kind of like when you hear people speak of the "gay agenda." I don't think as Christians we are suppose to just accept it into our homes with open hands by any means. BUT, we aren't suppose to attack it (abstract) as an idea, and ESPECIALLY not the people (finite) who are pushing it. I dunno, this is just my opinion. It's what I feel man. It's just the way I think and how my innerds tell me to react to stuff. It's composed of God, and gut. Can you really go wrong with "God & gut?"

Ya know, I this is kind of what I noticed today. I need to work on my happiness. This is my reflection for today.
~REFLECTION~

1.) I feel happy through out the day quite often. My happiness is usually built on other people's happiness. I seem to thrive off of how others feel. For instance, if I can make the dirtier, maybe not so well kept, semi-outcast kid at the YMCA program feel welcome and smile. If I can make their morning, I am blown away by that. But on the days where I feel a little more "down" and not so joyful for Christ. I have to question my self, my actions, my motives, and especially my INPUT. That old saying that your mom and dad use to day when you were little (at least for me), about what goes in will eventually come out. I find that to be very true.

R 1.) I have to find joy in all things. Even the sobering and seemingly NASTY times in life. It is so simple when kids are happy, or the mentally handicapped guy at school is proud of something you constantly complement him on, or you hold the door open for the girl who has no self-esteem, or the guy who questions why he should even go through the door. In those it is so simple. I am challenged to rely on Him. I am told directly to do so. This is some pretty tasty stuff right here. 1 Thess 5:16-19

I think my stomach flu is almost gone.....(knock on wood)

G'Night!!

REFLECTION day # 8

ohhh man, I don't feel so good. My head is throbbing, and my tummy is aching. I feel hot, like I may have a fever, and I have not been able to eat all day. Every time I tried to eat, I felt like I was going to puke it up. I hope this is just a 24 hour stomach flu, because I really don’t have the time to be sick. It has been so long since I have been sick too. I usually get sick when it changes seasons. The temperature and weather change usually get the best of me; throws my body off, and I get feeling yucky. But, it has not been changing temperature outside, so I must have gotten sick from one of the kids at work. I laid around all day today. I washed some clothes, but that is about it. The rest of the day was spent on the couch watching stupid T.V. I tried eating some mac & cheese with peas, but after a little bit of eating, I got all sweaty and had to stop eating. This is about how I felt for most of the day. I never threw up, I just felt like it every time I moved too fast or got near food. Yucky way to feel.

I did a lot of thinking today though. Thinking and praying. Coming to a conclusion on a subject that has been on my mind non-stop for the past week and one day. It has not been a fun conclusion to come to, but one that I know is right. Sometimes it sucks doing the right thing, in a world that won't commend you for it. Or for a person who won't understand why you are doing it. Or will maybe say they understand, but won't really understand because of views and ideology in their own mind. I am going to go to bed now.