Sunday, September 30, 2007

I gotta stay active.

Since I won't be getting too much physical activity from what ever my soon to be job will be, I figured I need to stay disciplined and on a schedule. So, me and Chris went to Wal-Mart and I purchased this....The two of us assembled it in my room, and it took about an hour and a half. It's not bad for $58.97, not bad at all. My dad has the bar and all the weight's at school just laying around that haven't been used in forever, so I won't have to purchase those. I'd say I got a pretty good deal. Once I get those weight's and my thumb heals, I will get myself into a routine, and once my body starts being sculpted like a big hunk of clay, I will be motivated by the hoards of women, and I will think to myself....."good purchase Mikey."

Church was really good today. A man from Pathway's Serbian sister church spoke. He had an awesome accent, and so many good stories, jokes, and lesson's to share. Here were some key point's from the sermon.

-Who and what we want to be in the future depends on the decisions we make today.

-The closer you are with Jesus Christ, the easier your race will be.

He talked about how we need to let go of the Good and Bad things in our past. To make new is important in starting a new Christ centered life. He talked about how the enemy can use our past to defeat us or keep us weak.

-It is better to learn how to fight a good spiritual fight, than it is to hide behind a religious comfort zone.

I really liked listening to this guy, and just like Pastor Ron, he seems very "real." I can tell he has been through so much and he is just a great guy. Amanda agreed with me too, it is nice that she takes me to church, and much appreciated, she had a really trendy watch on today too. ;-)

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Football and a bon fire

I can pretty much give a picture description of the days events. It started off with a 2 1/2 hour drive to West Lafayette to watch some Purdue Boilermakers in action on their home turf. This is my dad and I in the van on our way there. We had some mediocre conversation, nothing special, but nothing boring either.
The game itself was not to bad either. In reality, I am not a huge sports fan, but I do enjoy watching some good football with my dad every now and then. Even though my eye was caught by all the hotties walking by, and I kept wondering how many people the stadium could hold...I did see some fantastic scoring catches by both teams, and had a good time.
When I get home, I find we are taking care of Dum Dum here, and she barks at me like usual. So, I give her a hard time by chasing her and just driving her crazy. It's a great stress reliever. Then, my friend Chris called me up and told me that he had brought some thick huge log's home from the golf course. So, we went over to tony and josh's and burnt it up. When I left their house, I had my dad's axe with me. I was walking through the neighborhood with an axe at like 11:30 at night. A couple of cars drove by and I was really wondering what they were thinking when they saw me........hummmmmm

Friday, September 28, 2007

I pray for

To start off my last day at Vision Scapes, I did everything as usual. Once I got in the truck and was about to pull out with the crew, my boss (Mark Nolot) came up to me and shook my hand, he thanked me for all my hard work and said Vision Scapes will miss me. It isn’t something that I have to hear from a boss, I am going to work hard regardless, but it is definitely something encouraging to hear, I am glad I got to hear it before I left. All day I kept questioning my judgment; I do this often because deep down inside I want to think that my disease doesn’t limit me in any way, shape or form. When in reality, it does in a big way, and if I don’t respect that, I will only make life in the long term that much more difficult. I know I am supposed to leave work involving physical labor because I know it is difficult on my body. I also know that God will provide me with job. I just have to look for it, and be diligent. I made several calls after I got off work. It looks like North American Van Lines is not going to fill the positions that I applied for at this time. I was turned down from East Allen County Schools as well as Fort Wayne Community Schools because of my OWI I was convicted of last year. Parkview denied me a desk job, and wouldn’t give me a reason why. I am still waiting to hear back from the housekeeping position at Pathway, (church) but even if I do get that, it is only a part time position. I suppose I could go to an employment agency……but………~ick~

Tomorrow my dad and I are going to the Purdue vs. Notre Dame game in West Lafayette. Purdue should be stomping on them Notre Dame boy’s, but it should be fun anyways. It is always interesting to see what kind of conversation my dad and I get into. He isn’t the most out spoken man in the world, but I really do respect what he says, probably more than he knows.

I got another great compliment today from a good friend. Me and this good friend went over to my buddy Chris’s house today in the evening. Me and my buddy talk and have intelligent conversations on a regular basis, which is nice. Well, after some talk of people and situations he flat out said, “Well, Mikey you have made some really huge changes in your life, not just quitting dope, but in all aspects of your life, that isn’t something most people can do very easily.” My eye brows went up, and I really felt like he was being very sincere. It was nice.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I am done tomorrow.

Tomorrow is officially my last day at Vision Scapes. I won't be too sad to leave it, I will however, miss the people, not their bad habits, but them; definitely. Today, when I was working, I thought about Young Life non-stop. I really loved being there, and I sure would love to become a part of the team. I think I am going to make a phone call tomorrow. I sure do need to find a job as well. I could sure use prayer, asking for guidance and wisdom on what I should be doing right now.

Beautiful evening sky tonight. I heard the crackle of thunder, and some lightening strikes in the far off sky through the window. SO, I went outside in the driveway and looked North. It was such a beautiful scene. Full moon, lightening half of the sky, showing the dark mean looking cloud's coming in. And the other half clear and calm looking. I felt really lucky to see such a beautiful sight. I love the should of thunder.


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Wednesday= Young Life & Interview

Today I got a phone call from Alyssa Ivensen, from Wayne News Channel 15. She called and let me know that she wanted to do a follow up interview. I was thinking, "ohhh, cool, an interview would be good in a week or so, give me time to think about it..." Well, she was thinking a little more in the near future. Like this afternoon at 2:00. I got the voice mail at 10:05, and the interview was at 2. So much for planning. But, the interview went well, and I really liked what Alyssa put together. I will post it on the BLOG once I get the DVD copy of the interview.

THEN, this evening I went to the YOUNG LIFE big opening event. All these high school kid's come together, and they chatted with them for a bit.

Then they did a couple of skit's. Everyone was really into it. It was pretty darn funny too. After this it only got crazy. Earlier I helped set up some of the "Games" they had planned. First thing we had to do was empty out $150 worth of whip cream and choc. syrup. Put all of it onto a big tarp. We had frozen watermelons caked with Crisco, and some tug of war action. They kid's were completely soaked with all the sticky, inkiness you could possibly think of. They loved it, and it was great fun to watch. I would LOVE nothing more than to become a volunteer staff member of Young Life, and hopefully I can help make this happen in the near future.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

my thumb really hurts

Today was kind of nasty because my THUMB HURTS LIKE CRAZY!! My mom picked up an application from Pathway (the church I attend) for a part time custodial position. I think it would be a really good part time position, I am excited to see if I will get this position, I sure hope I do. I think it is just an awesome way to be a part of my church....even if I am just cleaning windows. ALSO, it will not be as hard on my body. I won't have to deal with the extreme temperature changes and other things that are really hard on my body. I have known that I "needed" to get away from this job, I think when I had that incident yesterday, it was like the straw that broke the camels back. Enough was enough. I was really thinking about it today while I was working. What if I would have been on one of the big mowers, what if there would have been people around, like sometimes there are, and I blacked out??? OMG, that is not an option. It showed me that I must find something else. And so I have come to this. I am not going to worry about another job, I mean I am going to put all my efforts into getting one, but I am not going to be stressed or lose sleep over the fact. That only makes things worse for me, and I think it shows lack of faith. God has taken me through much much, much more difficult times than this. Just a minor stumbling block, that's all I see.

It finally rained again today. I love the rain. I love storms. Check it out.

I also got a phone call from a friend that made me feel very appreciated. I mean, I don't have low self esteem by any means, but this was just a confidence booster. A friend, who will remain unnamed called me in a very low point. I talked with her, calmed her, and gave her what guidance I could offer. We will meet on Friday to talk. It just makes me feel so good when people come to me for support and guidance. Kind of sounds like what a counselor does....... ;-) EVERYONE loves to feel appreciated.
"The single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."- Brennan Manning

Monday, September 24, 2007


Something kind of scary happened today. All day I felt fine. I drank plenty of water, and ate lunch, I was in a normal routine as usual. After an average day of work, I go back to the shop and the two guys I was working with went home. I told them I would take care of the rest of the work that needed to be done. SO, I changed the blades on a couple of mowers, and then put them back on the trailer. I then backed the trailer up, unhooked it, and emptied the load of grass in the dump. I hooked the trailer back up to the truck and clocked out. As I was waiting for my mom to come pick me up, I took my empty water bottle and filled it up with water up by the office. I drank that bottle, and was filling it up again so I had some water to sip on while I waited for my mom. It was in this moment, I just blacked out. When I came too, I had a face full of dirt, 2 fingers on my left hand were scratched up, the left side of my chin was scratched up, I jammed my right thumb; I can hardly move it, and I came too with the wind knocked out of me. When I came too, I didn't know where I was, and I felt really confused. It scared the crap out of me, and I didn't even feel anything coming on.....It makes me think, "What if I was on a mower, around people when that happened?" I don't know if I should be working at Vision Scapes anymore.
When I got home, physically, it didn't get any better. (sigh) I went over to Tony's, and I was messing with his pit bull. No, it is not a mean pit, I was just laying on her, and she was eating her bone. She got defensive, and gave me a little warning bite on my nose. :-/

This is the left side of my nose, there is a matching tooth bit on the right side. Lesson learned. I have some decisions to make, this sucks, but I am pretty sure I need to get out of Vision Scapes. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

A good quote to start off with.

Right out of his wellness book. (P.S. I have not read this book, just found the quote and agree with it)
The concept of total wellness recognizes that our every thought, word, and behavior affects our greater health and well-being. And we, in turn, are affected not only emotionally but also physically and spiritually. -Greg Anderson

Man, Greg hit the idea of "total wellness" right on the head. That is so true, especially with someone with M/S. Thanks Greg.
Today, I went to Church with Amanda again. It's nice to go to church with someone that is on the same level as you in certain areas of life. She really appreciates Pathway for some of the same reasons I do also.

Today's lesson was...What keeps us from being lead by the Lord? And there were 4 great points for why we sometimes don't hear what he is trying to tell us.
1.) We must stop listening to the lies of the enemy."
-we have to be aware of "who" the enemy is. He has many different forms, it might be..The enemy might be someone telling us lies, and deciting us.
*a friend trying to get you to PARTY, may say, "ohh, common Mikey, you are only 20 years old, why do you care so much about being a good Christian, you have plenty of time to do that later."
2.) We must stop hiding from the presence of the Lord.
-we must not run away from caring friends, or good counsel/guidance.
Pastor gave the example of Adam & Eve in Genesis when they ate the forbidden fruit, once they did, they realized they were naked, and hid in the bushes and clothed themselves.
*what bushes do I hide in?
-my bushes would be my image, my friends, my comfort level, and probably "the norm" or the way I have always done things.
3.) We must stop listening to the voices of the past.
-all to often we get stuck up in the memories of the past, or the nostalgia of the past.
*Psalms 32 tells us to let go of the "lingering voices."
*Pastor talked about how GUILT can be both positive and negative in our lives. He used acronym’s to show this.
Positive Guilt: God's Unique Intentional Loving Treatment
Negative Guilt: Grief United In Lifelong Torment
4.) the 4th and final point was given from Ephesians 3:17-19
Begin today to embrace the Grace of Jesus Christ!
I really got a lot out of today's message. It's great when you can walk out of church understanding, and feeling closer to God. I think that may be a sign that you are doing alright. I think it's when I leave confused, or feeling guilty when I may be struggling. At least for me anyways.
**Today is the 1 year anniversary of me getting my OWI. Ohh yes, one complete year ago I was arrested for operating while intoxicated. I got drunk and drove into a corn field. It is amazing to look over my blog to see how much I have changed in the past 300 and some days since I have started posting. God is a powerful force. One that I am ever thankful for. **

I got an E-Mail from a girl named Whitney Soberalski, she knew much more about the accident than I. Here are the words she wrote to me.
"My name is Whitney Soberalski and I am with you in your belief in the power of prayer..... Jeff Jehl is one of my closest friends and he is dealing with a lot right now. Josh was also someone Jeff knew. Jeff goes to Leo and is a Senior this year. Josh's sister Amanda is involved with our youth group and so there in a great connection between Josh and Jeff. Jeff's dad had Josh as a student in HS. They both go to the same church. So if there couldn't be any more connection than that then i do not know what? Jeff was on his way to Mass where he was doing the readings this week. I knew something was wrong when Jeff didn't show for mass. He's one of the most spiritual persons I know. As it was explained on the news and from Jeff's Parents.... the motorcycle had been traveling at high speed when it pulled out into the intersection in front of Jeff and that is when they impacted. Josh was thrown into the ditch and air lifted to the hospital where he passed away. Jeff's truck went into flames while josh was still in the air. The truck exploded and by some divine intervention in my belief Jeff jumped out of the flames with only 2nd degree burns on his wrists and hands. How he was able to take his seatbelt off and open the door and escape while the truck had flames in the cab is a miracle. He should have been dead. However like i said Jeff is a man of faith and with all the connections there were between the two it makes this so much harder on him. Physically he will be ok but spiritually and emotionally he is pretty messed up. He wouldn't talk to police or the doctors or even his parents. He strictly wanted a priest and so he did talk to one. He's vulnerable to any lie the devil may try and tell him and he's not in a stable mental state, The poor kid is shaken up and giving himself a hard time."
Below is a picture of Josh.

The girl to the left is my friend Ashley, she dated Josh for quite some time. Her name is Ashley Schaffer. I know this hit her and her family very hard. I was friends with Josh's little brother Matt, who was a year younger than me. Josh was either 22 or 23.

R.I.P. Josh Amstetz

Saturday, September 22, 2007

I enjoy myself.

One good thing about my personality, is...well when I am in a good mood, and positive frame of mind, I can have a good time doing about anything. I could be organizing pictures, watching movies by myself, shopping with my dad, or writing in a BLOGG. I just got done watching Forest Gump, and that is a good movie. You can take a lot from a movie like that, sure had my eyes watering up quite a few times. Tomorrow Amanda Guy is taking me to church again, I am glad for that. I enjoy going to church with someone more than I do by myself. I stayed pretty low key this weekend, which is nice, and needs to be done every now and then. Hopefully I hear back from someone I applied for soon, that would be nice. Maybe I will even make a couple of phone calls first of the week to check on that. Here is a pretty picture of a winter land scape. Everyone should get a chance to see a scene as beautiful as this at some point in their life. Life can be really beautiful sometimes. And other times, it can be just the opposite, but I have found that even in the "opposite" times it is all a matter of how you decide to look at things. GOD BLESS

Friday, September 21, 2007

I want out

I want to get away from Vision Scapes. Even though VS has treated me well, I need to get away from it A.S.A.P. for my physical health, for my emotional health, for my spiritual health. Some things disgust me. For instance, we mowed a church today. Now, I do not expect people to have or share the same belief system that I have, BUT, I do expect them to show a little respect. We mow this court yard, in the middle of the church. I took care of it all, and the 2 guys I was with just had to blow off. As we were walking through the church, they are swearing like sailors, and I just felt embarrassed. Once we got back to the truck.........their actions only got worse. I guess it's not all negative, it gives me more motivation. ;-) That's right, way to be an optimist Mikey! I sent my resume to centennial, and applied for a housekeeping position at St. Joseph Hospital today as well as Dupont hospital. I just want to hear from someone. I don't have to get the job, I just want to get a phone call, so I know this isn't in vain. JUST A PHONE CALL!
Tonight I was going to just stay in, and fall asleep on the couch. Well, then John and Brandy called me and asked if I wanted to go play Lazer tag......ohh my, I haven't done that since I was like 15 years old. BUT, I couldn't say no....cuz I am a wimp. It ended up being everything I thought it would, but I enjoy being with my sister and her fiance. So, it was worth it.

As if the facial expression doesn't say it all. I was thinking, "how old are you again?" at this moment after I had played several games of Lazer tag. LOL. ohh wow.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

I make myself available because I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE! DUH!

Worked hard today, it got pretty warm too I might add. I think past 90. After work my mother took me to go apply for a position that does DATA entry for the post office, but they weren't taking applications. So, instead of doing the old fashioned forms of applying for a job, I decided to get all tech n9ne, and do it over the internet. I applied for a couple of positions at the hospital. One was for a assistant housekeeping position, the other was for some desk job. I hate applying online, because you never know who you are dealing with. Ya know? If I sat down with someone, I can tell by their body language, and facial expressions, also the tone in their voice of how I should act, speak, and portray myself. I can't put a read on who ever is reading my application, I guess all you can do is write honestly, and pray that whatever is suppose to happen, HAPPENS! I am not stressed, I am not worried, I would just really like to get out of this physical labor job. My tremors are getting worse and worse every week. I do not want to jeopardize my health on account of mowing lawns. That just doesn't seem very smart. BUT, at the same time, I am not going to quit Vision Scapes, until I have another job lined up.

So, when I checked my E-Mail once I got to my computer today. I had 8 letters from people I did not know. This is awesome, and this is why it happened. Ya see, I am in a Yahoo Chat group for the stem cell therapy I had. People were asking all these questions in regards to the "supposed" kitchen that is available to use at the Shenyang hospital. Well, I made a simple comment. This is what I put.

Hello all, my name is Mikey Riley, I had the stem cell treatment in theShenyang hospital. THERE IS NO KITCHEN!!! I just thought I shouldstress this, because we (my mother and I) were told that there was akitchen. This is not true. We did our cooking out of a crock pot,microwave, and used a power water boiler to cook noodles and what not.If anyone has any other specific questions regarding Shenyangcity/hospital, please feel free to ask me. Direct your questions to mypersonal E-Mail though, it is much easier for me to talk back andfourth on there. mobileRILEY@...God bless,Mikey

Well, I guess more people are members to this chat group than I thought, cuz all these E-Mails are from people all around the wourld. Asking questions about the hospital, treatment, and city. What I don't understand, is people start to get appologetic if they think they are asking to many questions. I can't emphasize enough to them that I make myself available because I want them to ask questions. I know how helpful it would have been if someone would have done that for me before I went over there. So, I guess what I am trying to say is.....I am happy to be of assistance.

When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things. Define the moment, or let the moment define you.

-Tin Cup

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

POST 300!!

Wow, what a day. I have officially posted three hundred times. I wonder how many words that is total. I bet it's a lot.

Today I went into the office and informed one of my bosses, not the main boss, but a boss none the less that I am planning on making a job change...hopefully soon. I told him this. I said that I am hitting the job market strong, sending out my resume, and filling out applications. I told him that on the part of the applications where it asks when I would be available to work, I told him I am putting "as soon as possible." Hint, Hint....I won't be putting in my 2 weeks if something good comes up. This is not be being an ASS either, cuz I told upper management a couple of weeks ago that this was coming. So, I am just following through with what I said I was going to do.

Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life. -Rachel Carson

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

they say it is good to use it as a journal.

~Early morning post~ 6:39a.m.
"Lord, be with me as I start this day. Help keep my mind attentive, and heart in check. Lord, you know what is important to me and what bothers me, please help me to keep my eyes focused on the eternal prize."

"The most wasted of all days is that during which one has not laughed." -- Nicolas De Chamfort

Today ended up being alright. I worked, and actually while I was mowing in a smelly, wet, gross retention pond, the only thing that could keep me from thinking about how much I hated the current situation I was in was me singing worship songs. So, that's what I did.
Sent out my first application with a resume today. I applied at North American Van Lines, for a position called a "temporary driver services coordinator." You have to be able to talk on a phone, type on a computer, work a fax machine, and sometimes juggle all of the above. Maybe something will come of this. I would appriciate any extra prayers for this, cuz it would be really good for my body to get out of the physical labor department. This could work my mind, and maybe turn into a job I could keep when I get back in school.

Today at work Mark (co-worker) found a razor when he was mowing. Turns out it worked perfectly, and he took out the sim card, and it is now his work phone.....turning it back in wasn't even an option. I was thinking to myself; tisk, tisk. Well, speak of the devil, my chance was coming. We get done working a little early, so I went to the office and asked if I could do some shop work to get some extra hours. Mark (owner) said sure, you can lube up some of the mowers and do some maintence here and there. I did, and when I was cleaning out one of the mowers, I ran accross a plastic bag. In that plastic bag was a wallet. It was my friend Mirza's, from when he worked at Vision Scapes. It had his license, some cash, all his cards and what not inside it. I was totally going to take the cash out, put it into my pocket, and maybe try to get it to him.......then I thought about the phone. I thought to myself, "how is this any different?" So, I put the cash back in and called my sister Brandy. Her fiance, my brother in law to be works with Mirza now. I told her to have him give it to Mirza. He will be so stoked to get that back.

In the evening hours, my sister and I got our hair cut.

This was me chillen before I got it cut.

Monday, September 17, 2007

tomorrow it'll be done, seriously

Alrighty, so the resume wasn't completed today, but it is my fault, I left one important piece of information out of my E-Mail to Kathy (creator). You can put the blame on me, yea you can put the blame on me ;-). So at work today I was pretty pissed off. Seriously, for real, and yes. As far as the gettin paid ladder, I am bout on the lowest step. This pisses me off, because people who have been there for months less than I are getting paid better than me. I don't even want to talk to Mark (owner), I just want to keep this motivation I have inside me to find something else, something better. I am going to keep working my butt off, and doing the same great job I have always done. I guess I learned one thing. Don't let work get personal. You work for money, you shouldn't let caring about working, or anyone at work, or anything personal intermix with money. Put money first "when you are at work", that's why you are there. Ughhh, that is so not me though, but I guess I have to change that about me. I am frustrated about several things, frustration building. Ya know what though, even though I feel like I am not appreciated at work, and I am constantly asking myself why I work so hard even though I get no return....I am going to continue as I am and have been.

I have great news from the other side of the world. My friend Scott Bushell from Australia has positive words for me. He is a comforting "bloke" and I am very happy we can confide in each other. It is most definitely an appreciated relationship.

I have been using the restroom, "peeing" all day. If my memory serves me right, this happened about this time last year. I think it may have something to do with the cold mornings at work. The body does not like cold.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

It's been a lazy weekend.........

One heck of a lazy weekend. I suppose it started on Friday, when I called my boss to ask him if I could come in on Sat. and work around the shop for some extra hours. He gave me a B/S excuse. I even told him I wanted to clean out the trucks and do maintence on the mowers, something most people wouldn't ask to do. :-0 What the heck? Whatever, more motivation for me to get a new job. The resume will be completed on Monday, then Cathy, the lady who is creating it for me, is going to give me some coaching lessons on what to do and what not to do during an interview. I am stoked for that.

Steph came and visited me on her "BIKE" when she got off work. I managed to snap a picture of her leaving my drive way on her way out. She impressed me with her skills already. Shifted good, good balance, very nice Steph. ;-)

Tonight was colletral night. Colletral is the sunday night college aged church activity I have started going to with my friend Kaley. This is the 2nd time I have gone and it struck some emotion tonight. I saw Chelsy there. Something I was hoping and hoping I wouldn't have to see or deal with. I ran into her as I was walking in. Right away I felt like I wanted to throw up, and I wanted to say Hey Chelsy, !*%#@ *+#@! &^$%#. But I did not. I said "hey Chelsy," kind of with my eyes directed away from her. I know it took her by way more suprise, because she wasn't even expecting the possibility of me being there. I then walked away, and enjoyed the sermon/message. Which, by the way was a really good one. The main topic was, ironically enough, Journaling. And how we can use it as a tool to be alert to God's presence in, around and through our life through writing and reflection.

Let me reflect. When I saw Chels; I remembered. I remembered all the emotion I put into her. All the feelings I felt for her. STUPID MIKEY! Even though it was a short time, I felt betrayed by her dishonest behavior in the end, and I believe, no, I "know" I still harbor a lot of feelings of resentment towards her. And although I felt like I went through the night with my metaphoric "tail" stuck in between my legs, I did still walk away from the evening with a good lesson on why it is so important for me to journal/blog. I do it as an emotional release, I do it so I can remember, I do it for entertainment and I do it to inform. I will be going back to colletral next Sunday.

I have one good quote from a booklet that they gave out tonight. "Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention." Fredrick Buechner, Whistling in the Dark.

~Health Update~
As far as health goes. The tremors continue to get stronger and stronger. Although they still haven't made it to my hands. This is very good. Fatigue is definately something that effects me. I notice it when I don't take my Adderoll. I have taken Adderoll for ADHD since I was in 2nd grade. I think my body is use to having it now. I didn't take like I should have this weekend. Not at all on Sat., and not till late on Sunday. Like prolly 2p.m. So, I just laid around and slept, well untill I took my med's. Then I got back into activity. I have also noticed that my bladder won't hold on at all. If I drink any amount of liquid, it is wanting to come out of me right quick. I think on Friday, I went to the bathroom 20 or more times. Kind of odd.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


I worked today, got off work, went to bed.....not to much to this Thursday.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

work, movie, work

I worked hard today. My tremors are very noticable now, I NEED to find another job if I know what's good for me. NEED TO. When I got home from work I got cleaned up, and my friend Jenni came and picked me up for a movie. We saw Death Sentence, with Kevin Bacon. It was intense and non-stop craziness. It was so, AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I got some cool pictures in work today. Pictures from the road. Check it out.
This picture is out of the front of the windshield. You can see the little crack in the lower right hand corner. This picture was taken out of the passenger side open window. I snapped a pic. of the passenger side side view mirror. You can see the trailer and truck, plus the outside lines. It looks pretty cool. Here is a picture of Jenni from inside the theatre. I used that chap stick too, it was a lip saver.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

That was a lot of files....

I just went through all my pictures and videos that were taken while in China. 1.45gb 717 files, individually named and ordered. My eyes are sore, and my right eye has something stuck in it. I was weed whipping some over grown grass/weeds in a wet low lying area today, and some piece of something got stuck under my eye lid, and won't come out no matter what I do. My poor eyes. Ya know, after going through some E-Mails and comments I am really quite motivated to make what I want happen. I can't wait till I am able to get my resume finished. Cathy (Brittany's mom who is helping me) told me that she wants to sit down and give some hints and pointers as to what I need to do when sitting in an interview to really "wow" my interviewer. I guess there is more to it than just having incredible good looks. Who knew?

~Prayer for the day~
"Lord, let me be thankful for the small things in life I take for granted. For the friends that care, for the butterflies that are pretty, for muscles that work, for smells. Please help me to see and appreciate everything you give me."

Monday, September 10, 2007

Do you have a case of the Monday's, cuz I don't

Unlike a lot of people, I do not hate Monday's. I actually look forward to an early start to get the week going. I like being on a schedule, and I like knowing I am needed somwhere. Good feeling. My friend Brittany Brown's mom, Cathy is helping me to create a resume so I can get a better job. I have a couple of leads on some jobs that will not involve the strenous physical activity that I have to go through now at Vision Scapes. NOW, don't get me wrong, I love working my body hard, but it is very difficult on my M/S, I can tell this because every time I get myself into a normal work routine, I start having bad tremors, followed by things like muscle spasticity, and other things I do not like having to put up with. I am motivated, and I will complete my goals. Car, Education, leave Indiana, family. So simple. ;-)

Sunday, September 09, 2007

feeling good, feeling great, how are you?

When I walked out of church today, I felt like I was leaving a really good concert. It is a good feeling to make that spiritual connection at church, and I even got to share it with someone who agreed with me. Amanda Guy took me to church, it was kind of through random events that it worked out, but it worked out none the less. >>> to the right is a picture of Amanda, she is a cutie for sure. I'm glad she decided to visit Pathways/ give me a ride, and I am pretty sure she felt what I always feel when I leave Pathways. She seems very down to earth and spiritually connected.

Today's lesson was from Pastor Ron, who is back from his 6 week leave. The elders thought it would be good for him and his family to take a little break, so the past 6 weeks Pathways has been blessed with visits from all different speakers. It is good to have Pastor Ron back though.

That was the question for the lesson today. We learned that God does want, what we want. Psalms 20:4 talks about how God wants us to have the desires of our heart. I think I could especially relate to this lesson because it is so much easier when I have a defined drive/motivation. We got some really good things to look out for in order to keep this DRIVE for God moving in the right direction. These are also from my notes, they are probably confusing.

Watching my RPM's:
Because it is important to not over do it, it is good not to push yourself past your limit's. This is especially important to me, and hit close to home because I have to really watch what I do for my health's sake. What to look for when watching my RPM's>>>
1.) Comparison "mine is better than yours" try not to compare, be content with what you have.
2.) Compulsion "do it all, have it all, right now, RIGHT NOW!" compulsion can get to your head real quickly. It is important to keep this in check.
3.) Conflict "asking with wrong motives can be a huge conflict"
4.) Complication "don't complicate things, life will do that on it's own, keep it simple"
How to drive wide open:
1.) Learn to be content. Be happy with what you have, the people in your life, and the things you are blessed with. Look for them too. Philippians 4:10

  • value of life is not found in possessions.
  • don't be a slave to your stuff.

2.) Out give your taking Isaiah 58:7

  • giving free's up your hands, mind, soul.
  • 3.) Be rich towards God
  • love God above all things.
  • when you love God, your love for man will increase also.

4.) **don't forget to remember to die**

That last note was added by pastor Ron. It wasn't in the list that was shown on the projector, and I don't quite understand it 100%. Does it mean to remember to die to your sinful wants and desires, does it mean die in the blood of Christ? If anyone has any input, I will listen with open ears.

So, at lunch today, I felt like my mom kind of got me a little off track today. She knows that it is my priority to save up for a vehicle, and then go back to school. It is something that is very important to me personally, and I was very comfortable in my decision, she weakened my confidence level. Telling me that it would be smarter to get back into school at first chance, meaning next semester. But, raising the funds by then would be out of reach for me at this time. So, I become a little frustrated, not to mention today in church, I noticed my tremors are back full force. Almost as bad as they were right before I left for China. This tells me that it is because of the physical exhaustion I put my body through every day at Vision Scapes. I need a new job, where I don't put my body through the rigors of work that I do at such a such a physically active job like Vision Scapes. (sigh) I'll figure it out though.

In the evening, me and Kaley Menshy

went to a Sunday night church at a church in Fort Wayne called Brookside. The evening is based towards college aged people. It was really nice, and it was "meant to be" because there was a bunch of people there for the first time, and it just so happens that they started a 6 week study on finding your spiritual self. We both really enjoyed it, and felt like we were suppose to be there. It was really good, quite happy with that. It is called collateral. Here is a shot below.

~Health Update~

My tremors are back. Pretty much as bad as they were before I left for China. I am pretty confident when I say it is because of all the work I force upon myself at work, which is more motivation to find a job else where.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

B-Day Bash

Alright, today I got some really awesome news when I was at work. A text message from a lovely lady whom I have nothing but the ut most respect for. I've known her for a long long time and have gotten a chance to see her turn into a woman. (sounding like an old man) But, check this out. This is Stephanie, I know, georgous. Well, Steph informed me today that she bought a first I was thinking, ummm a bike steph? (bycicle) But, then she sent me a picture of this.>>>

When she sent me this picture, my jaw dropped a little bit. I was thinking, dang girl. That is just so incredibly hott. Attractive girl riding a motorcycle, dang. Anyways, I had to share that, cuz it was just so darn cool.

After I got home from work, I got cleaned up and went to my nieces B-Day party. It was pretty cool. It was out in the country, in the middle of a corn field. Here is an action shot so you can get an idea of what it was like.

It was an interesting set up. Mahailey had a good time, and I tried gumbo. I don't like sausage, so it wasn't too much to my liking, but there was a lot of good food there. I went with John and Brandy, love hanging out with them.

Here is the b-day girl in front of her cake with her lil crew. I dared this girl to shove her cake in her face, lol. then she did, I laughed pretty hard, does that make me a bad uncle? he he, I don't think so either.

Yup Yup, good day today. Tomorrow I getting picked up by a really cool chick for church. She wants to visit Pathways, so I told her that I would let her pick me up and take me to Church sometime. ;-)

Thursday, September 06, 2007

drooping eye lid's

Today was a great day, I got a wonderful complement. I must hurry though, I can hear the wings of the butterfly getting closer and closer.

I decided to take my Lunesta because I woke up this morning at like 1/4 till 2 and had a real time getting back to sleep. SO, a little dab of Lunesta will guarantee me a good nights sleep. I highly recommend also. Except for the nasty taste in your mouth that you usually wake up with.

OK, so about the accomplishment. It was me and 2 other guys, one who just came back who hasn't worked for a while, and one who doesn't usually do mowing. Here is the thing, after about ohh maybe couple of hours of working. Jay, a guy who has worked at Vision Scapes for several years asked me a very direct question. He asked me why I worked so hard. He asked like this, "Mikey, how come you always work so hard? I mean, it's not a bad thing, it's just that most guys your age don't really care to work as hard as you." Inside I was smiling ear to ear, but I played it calmly. I told him my reasons. I told him that I try not to take my body working in good order for granted. I told him that I have experienced times when I have no control over my body, and sometimes when my body will not let me do what I want to do. SO, now, when I am healthy and able, I enjoy working hard and pushing myself. lol. It's probably good and bad. Good for my physical body, ya know muscle tone, strength, and all that appearance jazz. BAD, because I know it is better for my body to take it easy.

I am excited for this Sunday. I am being picked up by a very lovely lady who wants to try out Pathways. I love it, maybe she will love it as much as I do. :-)

Night Night

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

awwww shucks

Fort Wayne Community Schools called me today around 4ish, they told me the reason that I got a letter in the mail saying I was ineligible for employment was because I had a conviction within the past ~5~ years. I thought that was kind of strict for a custodial position, but I guess if you are going to be around children, then you want to be above reproach. I was disappointed, but I guess I wasn't meant to have that job. Soon, I will go to my friends moms house and ask if she will help me make a resume. I am going to start getting serious about my job hunting. I believe making a good resume will be the best place to start.

I am still coughing, still snotting, and still not feeling so hott. I had a good day at work today though, I worked my butt off, then when I got back to the shop, I dug a trench with a shovel. I love working really hard then going home and staying active till it is time to go to bed. THAT is when you get the best sleep, "in my opinion." I think some people take their sleep for granted. I have struggled with sleep for the majority of my life, so I definitely enjoy the heck out of it when I get it good. :-)

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

under the weather

sniffles, bit of a fever, cough, runny nose, ick. That is how I feel. It gets worse at night, hopefully it won't last long. For shizzle my nizzle. Today was a good day at work today. I mowed some grass. My bank account is rising, a sure sign that some day, I will have enough to buy a decent car and go on with.....the rest of my life. What's that saying, "slow and steady win's the race." That's how I feel.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Happy Labor day!

I was very happy today was labor day. I didn't feel good from the get go. I am congested, my throat is sore, and my eyes have been watering all day. Think I may be coming down with something. YUCK! I just laid around the house all day, I was very lazy, and I am not ashamed of the fact. lol.

Sunday, September 02, 2007


Today, the lesson taught that LOVE, is the very essence of following Jesus.

1.) Love is commanded: Jesus commands us to love over and over in the Bible.

-"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." [Matt22:37-40]

2.) Love is exemplified: We (Christians) can show we love others just as Jesus did

-wash the feet of others

-don't scoff at leppers

-cry for people you lose

-make others more important than yourself

3.) Love is our identity: As Christians we must set ourselves apart. What better way to do this than to make ourselves known for loving. I wrote a side not on this one. Instead of people saying "ohhh, he/she is a hypocrit," I would much rather have them say, "he/she is really loving."

Great worship service today, great message. We also had communion, at Pathways we have open communion. This simply means you take the symbols of God's flesh and blood and take them on your own time after reflection and prayer. At first I didn't really like it too much, I think that is just because I was so use to taking communion when the pastor told me to. I am beginning to really like this open format.

When the service was over, a man that was sitting to the left of me came up to me and shook my hand. He introduced himself and told me that I looked very familiar to him. At first I didn't know where the connection was. He said, "well, it doesn't matter, I can tell your heart is in the right place, thank you for worshiping next to me today." My eyes opened wider and I said, thanks. We got to talking a bit, and my face seemed familiar because of the news papers articles written about me. ALSO, at the beginning of the service, a man named Joe Dickason came up to me and shook my hand. The face was really familiar but couldn't remember from where. He donated some items to my auction. We cought up a little bit, and it was really nice. It's so neat to see how people come in and out of your life at diferent points. Above is a picture of the items he donated to me. He makes these with different types of unique wood from all over the place.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

i knew it, about the attitude thing.

Multiple cool things happened today. I felt pretty blessed actually. Went in for work today, it was going to be a really light load. We, meaning me and the guy I worked with had 2 projects that needed to be completed. We had to go and fill up some mulch beds that had just newly been made, and then we had to go out to this addition and spray weeds. Once both tasks were completed it had probably eaten up only 1 hr. 45 min. of time. I went back to the shop and cleaned mowers, some trailers, did some minor maintenance on mowers, and cut a little bit of grass at the shop.

Ok, blessing # 1: I don't ever take money with me to work anymore. The reason is simple, I don't want to spend it, if I don't have it with me, I don't spend it. I pack a lunch, and take my thermos full of water. So, I am good to go. Today, however, I knew I wouldn't be out all day so I didn't pack a lunch. Didn't even take my water bottle...mostly cuz I was being lazy. Instead, I took 2 dollars, and stuck them in my pocket. We stopped at a gas station and I was going to use the restroom and buy a Gatorade. Well, while I was in the restroom I noticed there was 16 cents sitting on the counter next to the sink. I was planning on taking that 16 cents and putting it in the give a penny, take a penny tray. I grabbed a Gatorade out of the fridge, and walked up to the register, where there was a cute girl working. I smiled at the pretty lady, and gave her the came to $2.14 I thought, wow, that is really ironic that I found that change in the bathroom, then I realized that God is in control of everything. The IrOnY part kind of drifted away.

blessing # 2: Justin, one of the foreman at work has been surprising me lately. In past conversations he has told me of his belief system, and that he is very doubtful of the whole Christianity subject. Well, the past couple of weeks that we have worked together. The way he speaks about it is changing. Him and his wife attend a church, he even goes so far as to say, "his church," and that he really likes it. It is St. Joe Community Church I "THINK" and they meet at Carmike Cinemas on Dupont RD. OK, OK, blessing part. After we are done with our 2 chores, we are in the truck riding back to the shop. We talked about many things, then it was silent for a bit. Justin asked me, "Mike, you seem to know your Bible stuff pretty good, can I have you clarify something for me?" On the inside, I was grinning from ear to ear. I played it cool and said, "sure man." He told me that he and his wife had been attending a bible study for the past couple of weeks, and he was struggling with something. Something was stuck in his head that he couldn't figure out. It was the story of Cain and Able. Justin asked me why God favored Cain's offering over Able's. I was so happy to tell him, and then we started talking a little more in depth of why it is hard for Justin to commit to religion. It was very humbling to say the least, and I was most appreciative.

blessing # 3: When me and Justin were talking while spraying weeds at Hamilton Meadows, we were talking about another guy from work. bla bla bla talk talk talk....what it came down to was Justin saying this. "ya know, he may not have the best skills yet, but his attitude is right where it needs to be." He continued to tell me that he would rather have a worker with a good attitude than one with the ultimate skills. It was nice to hear that. :-)

blessing # 4: The E-Mail's I get from random people, family, friends, strangers, interested people all make me excited to check my E-Mail every day. It really is a huge blessing to me when I get to hear people's input from all different kinds of people. I really enjoy it.

Funny how that works out. I am struggling finding a ride to church tomorrow! ahhhhhh, Mikey+no car+no license=motivation

I took a typing test online to see how fast I could type. It said.....Your speed was: 62wpm. That means I can type fairly fast. If you wanna test your speed, just click..

I want to see how fast I can type. I don't know how accurate it is, but it is kind of fun. There is even tutorials to help you improve your skills. ;-)
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you.
Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing set."