Wednesday, February 27, 2008

You amaze me God

-note to God-

Every time I doubt, get frustrated, get angry, feel alone, feel overwhelmed or just plain turn away you are always there to talk to me, lift me up, challenge me, love me. All I have to do is have eyes to see you, ears to hear you, and a heart to love you. You are like a Rolex God, as long as I keep moving, you keep working in, around, and with me. You amaze me God, from showing me the 116 in my car, to putting me in the lives of these kids who really need comfort and love. I can't help but see you in everything. I want them to call me a "super Christian" God, I want them to see you in me. I want to over flow with the Holy Spirit. Romans 1:16, I'm not ashamed! Even when I feel like nothing is working, they keep coming back God. Something inside of them is telling them to keep coming back. They see something, they feel something, they sense something different. They don't know exactly what it is yet, but they like it. I pray for their souls Heavenly Father, I cry for what they have been through. Give me strength to stand firm when it would be easier to break in front of them. Give me the wisdom to know what to say. I love you Lord, you are my strength. I want to make myself low so that you may be lifted up. Thank you for everything that you are. Grant me the Faith so that my eyes may always be focused on you. Amen.

The majority of my day was spent studying. My mom and I had to go and get something worked at IPFW, but as soon as that was done, I was off the the 4th floor of the library to study study study. It feels so good to be prepared for my exam tomorrow. I am ready for this sucker. BRING IT ON PSY 120!!

Tonight at Young Life I encountered so many amazing things. I am pulling these kids out of the Ghetto and they are loving it. They are rough and tough, and wear their thug clothes, but they are calling me and they keep coming back. One of the guys, "D" opened up to me tonight out of no where. He is the last person in Snider I would think would want to come to Young Life. He is obviously carrying a lot of pain though. He told me about how he has lived with his grandmother since he was 2 in Chicago. He recently moved back to Fort Wayne because his parents got out of Prison. Well, his grandmother was extremely abusive and neglected him in so many ways. He harbors so much pain and resentment, I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes when he spoke. No wonder he smokes weed, and trys to erase the memories instead of combating them head on. Right before he got out of the car, I told him that I respected him for telling me that, and that I would never judge him. I also told him that I think I might know a little more than him than what he thinks. I asked if I could take him out to eat sometime and just talk to him about some of the issues. He said yes, and he said it with his chin up. I am excited to see where God is going to take this. There is so much pain in this kids heart. So much pain.Then of course we have Randy (left) and I think Tony (right) the master kung fu guys. HA! It was so funny.

On the way to take these guys home we saw a car super stuck in a make a long story short, me and 4 dudes got this guy out of the ditch with BRUTE STRENGTH! It was pretty awesome, and it is a cool story to be able to share with each other. A "bonding" moment. My exam starts at 9:00AM tomorrow, and I could use some prayers if anyone wants to dish them out. I am prepared for it, but I just home I don't crack under pressure. GO ME!

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