Sunday, December 17, 2006

God is a workin, workin away, all the time, yep workin hard. ;)

Today was such a good day. Which is really good, because the past couple of days my spirits have been really low. Ever sence my co-workers wife's tragic death, i have been really down. Today was definately a spirit booster. Allow me to expand. Ok, this morning i went to church(pathways, new church i have been going to) it was great, and i am falling in love with this church and it's people. After church, i went home, and just did stupid lil stuff, listened to music, and watched t.v. talked on the phone a bit. But, @ 4:30 John & Brandy came over(brother in law, and sis). around 5, we left to go to my niece's church to watch her in the christmas play.

Yes, niece. My biological brother’s daughter. Yes I have some brothers. 2 to be exact. It is really amazing. God keeps putting more and more of my biological family in my life. The more I hang out with them, the more welcome I get to feeling. I really feel like I belong, and that feeling of acceptance is something I have longed for all my life. Now, I must say I have never felt like my family never accepted me, quite the opposite. There has just always been a part of me that wondered what was out there. Now that I have found them, it really gives me a warm spot in my heart. All right, allow me to give you a little background on Brandy & John, because I believe God really used me to witness to their hearts tonight. John & Brandy are not religious at all. In fact, if you ever bring up the subject with them, they turn from it. Not sure why exactly, I just know they both have stubborn hearts when it comes to that subject. Well, tonight before the Christmas Play. There was a time of worship, ya know temporary worship music. Brandy was sitting right to my left, and John was to the left of her. When the pastor asked us to stand, I noticed brandy kind of rolled her eyes. I stood, and I could tell brandy was giving me the look. It was as if she was saying, “wow, this is a joke.” She could say this, without even saying a word. I chose to ignore her at first. Then I started singing along. It was so awkward at first. I prayed that god would soften my heart, and he did that exactly. I kept singing, then I closed my eyes and really focused on who I was singing to, and why I was singing to him. Towards the end I could really feel the spirit working in this church. I put my hand in the air, and really felt confident and comfortable. I know they were pretty surprised, because they hadn’t seen that part of me before. I mean, a couple of months ago, I was smoking the reefer sticks with them.

That was the first amazing part.

The second amazing part is……Well when I was in that church, I got a phone call, it was a 1-800 number, and I pressed ignore, because the pastor was speaking. Turns out, it was my good friend Jacob Kim. He was calling from Korea, using a phone card. He left me a very uplifting voice mail. And Jacob. If you are reading this, I want you to know I am extremely proud of you. You are making very mature decisions. I wish you the best of luck with everything you are dealing with. You are awesome, and I am proud to call you my friend. I will be praying for you! Also, call me anytime, I love talking with you.

Ok, so after the church play, my biological Grandmother took us all out to eat, at Pizza Hut. I took some pictures, so i could show them off. Directly below is my biological Grandma.

Starting all the way to the right, in the white. That is my brother Travis, and his little girl. The woman in the leather is his wife, and the lil dude who has half his head in the pic. is their lil boy. The big guy all the way in the back is my other brother Troy. Their last name is Shepard. The beautiful woman holding the little one in the orange is Troy's wife, and the lil boy in orange is their youngest Joel. The little cutie in the purple fuzzy coat is haley. These people are my blood relatives. They make me feel like i am a part of their family, and that makes me feel very good inside. It's a hard feeling to explain, and unless you are adopted, it is pretty hard to understand. I am so thankful for them, and they show me love.

Ohh, also. One little thing i forgot to mention. I am officially not a teenager anymore. It is my B-day, and i am 20.

M/S Update.
Today, i was sweating so badly in church this morning, i had to exit, and go outside for some fresh air. Then go to the bathroom, to do a quick wipe down. Now, when i say sweat, i mean SWEAT. It was so bad, i felt the liquid beading up and trickling down my back. My boxers were soaked, and the sweat was dripping off my chest and onto my jeans. A very uncomfortable feeling to say the least. Also, my whole body is shaky. It is such a surreal feeling. Collectivly, i can see my M/S worsen in front of my own eyes. Physically and mentally. It is pretty scary.

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