Sunday, December 03, 2006
OK, so this morning didn't start off very smooth. I had been sleeping a lot the day prior, cuz I didn't feel too good. Therefore, I was up kind of early this morning. Actually, my ride to church sent me a text message at 8:20 saying he wouldn't be able to pick me up this morning. THEREFORE, I was rather stuck. However, I remembered Kaley went to Pathways, so I gave her a call around 9ish and she said her and her mom would be there (my house) to pick me up. They did, and we went to church. Where I sat with friends Kyleigh Smith, Kayla and Courtney Steury. It was really nice to see them. And I kind of wanted that to happen all along, it was odd to me that it all worked out. Cuz I didn't even have a chance to make it happen, it just did. Thanks God. Sooo…Church started with a skit. There was a man, in a nice suite, at his proverbial “wits end.” Ya see, he was playing an alcoholic struggling to decide whether or not he would put himself into an in-patient alcohol rehab program. Anyways, this guy is really torn, he knows he has a problem, but will he really give it up? At the end of the skit he takes out his flask and tells the “doc.” To tell his wife and friends that he will be in the rehab for a while. This skit showed very clearly, how we let problems and emotional baggage, build up in our lives to the point where they become real problems. Now you could take the alcohol and replace it with a number of other things.An eating disorder, physical, emotional or verbal abuse, a drug problem, depression, worry, pride, and even relationships can cause serious emotional baggage in our lives. The pastor talked about how all those things act like a barrier between yourself and God. It’s so true; I know I used Drugs and all sorts of controlled substances as a release from my problems. While all along my problems just became worse and worse. Just like the guy in the skit, I had to come to a point where I decided enough is enough. It wasn’t simple, and I had to live through many mistakes. Nevertheless, I did come to the decision that I was going to give my problems to Christ. I think the problem comes when you won't let go of your pride. Your pride keeps you from accepting that you really have a problem. That is so hard to admit, as humans we want to be in control of our own lives. But God tells us to let him be in the drivers seat. Yup, I said it. And it is so good. I made this decision not too long ago. And I have noticed how God has blessed me in so many ways. In addition, all the little stupid sinful things I do, I notice in a different sense. Like I feel extremely guilty for all the stupid things. Like swearing, or talking ill of someone. Those are little stupid things that I never cared about before. I want to live for Christ, and devote my life to him. It’s a slow process, but I can slowly give him all my problems. The cool part is I really do feel relieved. My issues don’t have to be a burden anymore.
In church today, my legs were shaking like crazy. The sweating is bad, but i really think i might have noticed a little bit of a difference. It could just be mind games, but i really think i was sweating less than normal. If that really is the case, then YESSS!!!!!! The right eye is still twitching, and yep. Thats all folks.