REFLECTION day # 2

On the old pad today, I didn't have a lot to write down, but what I did write down, well it says a lot about me and where i'm at. I am going to write exactly what I wrote on my note pad.

Day 2 of 14 went a little something like this....

1.) When I was driving to class this morning just as soon as I got out of work at 8:40AM, I ran into the most intense traffic at my university. It was a crazy house, there were cars everywhere. SO, because of traffic I was coming in late & an IPFW cop stopped me because the lots ahead where I was going to park were full....he held me up for probably 3 minutes and I was already 9 minutes late. He told me that I needed to park in the parking garage, and I told him I was not going to park there. I kept yelling to him that I would not park there and for him to let me through. I said, "why should I park in the parking garage?" He told me, "I am the cop, you will listen to me!" Then he told me to wait until he could come and talk to me." After I was extremely frustrated, I pulled out my handicapp placard, and gestured to it very angirly. He said to me, "why didn't you show me earlier as he let me through?" I yelled, "it shouldn't matter...retard" And it was for sure loud enough for him to hear.

~Reflection~

R 1.) This shouts loud and clear, AUTHORITY PROBLEM! And it is so true, I do have a problem with simple authority. I would refer to all authority over me on this earth as "simple authority." If I struggle to obey simple authority, and press my luck with them, why should I think it would be any different with my ultimate authority (God)? I will go ahead and answer this, "it won't be." I need to respect all authority over me, this means taking a constant PRIDE hit, and sucking it up. I could have very easily already had my placard out for him to see, but I wanted to press my luck, and be a jerk. I wanted to be the big man, and try to make him feel little. This is very wrong wrong wrong. I didn't even seek him out afterwords to try to apologize because in that moment my heart was hard. When my heart get's hard, I justify things. That is a horrible thing to do, and another very clear thing for me to reflect and pray on. I need to remember this idea(read picture).....SEE PICTURE BELOW!I got a very hard phone call tonight. My brother in Christ, Matt....well, his wife left him tonight. She did it in a very painful way too. While he was at Bible school, she packed up her things, and put them in her car. When he got home from class, she was gone. He found out she went drinking at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of her old high school drinking gals, and he went there. He said he saw her in there on her phone, checking out guys at the bar. He sat down next to her, until she saw him. Her jaw dropped, and he went to her and asked her to come with him. He told her not to give in, and abandon her husband and her faith. She refused and walked away from him. He is really hurting right now. I know for a fact that if you took an x-ray of his chest, it would look very similar to the picture below. It is so hard to see a brother struggle so badly. I want to fix his situation, or at the very least, let him know why it is happening. But I believe and will pray that he makes correct decisions. Please pray for Matt, and for his Wife Allison, that she is protected in this time.

On a lighter note, I did have a most excellent day today. I went to my philosophy class...and well, I bet I will be spending some time in the future talking about this new class, and the people in it. I will just start off by saying, it will be interesting. ;-)