Saturday, January 12, 2008

My perception

(3:30PM or so)
I woke up as late as my body would allow me to. I knew I couldn’t lay in my bed any longer because all the covers were untucked and all over the place. This happens once I wake up but am still very sleepy. I roll around in my bed, and usually wrap myself in several layers of covers. I position my body in cool areas of the bed, along with my head on one pillow to another. Once I have successfully used up all the “cool” (temperature) parts of my bed, then and only then will I flop out and move along with the day. I made it to about 11:30 this morning. I moseyed around doing mostly meaningless things and then I realized I had this new phone! Ahhh HA! I got the new phone at the beginning of last week. I have not activated it yet, because there are several things about it that I am uneasy about. The first one was that it did not come with a USB cable like the lady on the phone told me it would; grrrr I gave into this and purchased one yesterday. Secondly, I have figured out that Verizon requests of their phone manufacturers (Samsung, RIM or Blackberry, Kyocera, LG, Motorola, Nokia, Palm, Sanyo, Sony Erickson, Audiovox and Qualcomm) to create “smart” CDMA phones now. In layman’s terms, Verizon wants their customers to have to pay for things like media, games and RINGTONES. It’s not cheap either, a simple ringtone that is under 30 seconds in length can cost in upwards of $2.99! This just does not sit well with me. What happens? I get extremely motivated to find a way to get around the problem. I spent over an hour with a Verizon representative, then a Verizon Tech Support person, and was finally connected with an LG agent (my new phone is LG). After I gathered as much information from all three sources, I did some digging in different forums on the internet. Now, I am sure that as soon as my new USB cable arrives, I will be up and running to the degree that I want to be able to run at. Now, the perception I had in regards to all of this is as follows….I can become so motivated about something so stupid as a cell phone, why do I have to force myself to get into God’s word? Once I am in it, I am content and feel like I did when I conquered the phone problem. I wanted to conquer the phone problem though. I wanted to make the calls and gather information to solve the problem I was having. I don’t necessarily “want” to wake up and go to Bible study in the morning. It is good enough that I force myself to do so? I find myself asking the question, “should I have a different feeling?” I am dumbfounded. I do know that I Love my savior with all my heart, mind & soul. I do know that I trust my savior in all things. (deep breath) I don’t know if any of what I just wrote makes any sense, but it did feel good to type it out and read it over.

I just got back from a movie that I saw with my friend Amanda. It was called, "The Orphanage." It was in Spanish, so English subtitles the whole time, and was going really good the whole time till the ending......the ending ended it for me.

I went to Dave church, other wise known as Lifelight Ministries. It is the last time we can meet in the building that we have been allowed to meet in for the past 5 months. It is really going to be neat to see where God takes this whole ministry. The sermon/talk was great, and very uplifting. The praise and worship time was phenomenal! I felt like God answered my frustration that I put out there in the above "perception" ranting. Dave said this, "I am a child of God, I don't deserve it, but I have it. I'm adopted into the body of Christ and that's good enough." It was simple, but yet I found SOOOO much comfort in it. My eyes just got kind of buggy big, and I was simply reminded. It was a sweet thing.

God, I am your vessel. Alone, I am less than nothing. But, with you in accordance to your will I have no limit. God, allow me to do your labor with a Christ centered attitude. Help me to love others as you loved. My prayer is that I become small, so that you may be glorified. I don't want any of the eyes on me, but directed towards you where my strength comes from. Your grace is hard to comprehend. I don't have to understand it, I just have to accept it. You are so good. Every breath I take is from you, every time my heart pumps, it is of you. You are my everything, remind me constantly.

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