Thursday, March 20, 2008

this was my day

(mid-day post)
The reality of my health is sinking in & I am momentarily upset. I am not upset with God but with my body. I must release some of this inner turmoil. I can only type with 1 hand, I can't write; studying has become so much harder, I can't tie my shoes, I can't dry my body off after a shower, I had to learn how to wipe my butt with my left hand (it's reality), I am always freezing b/c of poor circulation to left side, my right muscles are weakened b/c of lack of physical activity, energy is down, stress is up, car wouldn't start today BUT I couldn't fiddle around under the hood, I must rely on my parents big time when inwardly I long for independence, I can't go paint balling with Young Life kids, if I fell in water over my head I would die, my jaw is so sore from constantly biting down (new m/s symptom), And I had to turn down work. ~SIGH~

Then I remembered a text message I got yesterday from a free text messaging service. It sends it to me at random times & it just so happened to send it to me yesterday when I was all stressed out about Dijon not wanting to come to YL & all that jazz. This is what was sent. Galations 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, goodness, & self-control. The following verses are amazing, but this one was just a great reminder. So with that said, God....I release all these to you, Father allow me to only strengthen my gaze towards you. When I feel as if I am overwhelmed, help me to remember your grace so I can see just how lucky I am. (smile)

I do feel better now

(10:54PM "normal time for posting")
I missed my PSYCH class this morning, this is very unusual for me. I made it to his(professor's) 6PM class. I hate not being able to take notes. It makes studying very difficult. My car got towed to the shop today, I think it has a ignition or starter problem.

I start TYSABRI tomorrow. It's a big day for me. I believe I am suppose to though, that's crazy to me. Let's see what happens shall we? ;-)

also, in my Q&A post on the 15th, i said i prayed for faith so now something challenging happens.....i said this must happen in order 4 faith 2 increase.....well, i take that back. God does not hurt us in order to teach us. Please allow me to recant that statement.

3 comments:

Lauren said...

Hi Mikey,

You said, "So I start TYSABRI tomorrow @ 9:00AM. I am nervous, but I have got to try to get my right side working again. how come you don'y BLOG anymore?"

You will be fine tomorrow, you are in good hands, the "Great Physician's" hands... (smiling).

I blog all the time Mikey, in case you lost my blogspot, here it is for you to check out:

http://lauren-livingwithms-aolcomlglbgl2003.blogspot.com/

Please stop by and drop me a note tomorrow letting me know how your first infusion went (you might be a little tired after your first infusion, and that is common... most take a power nap after their infusion).

Also, I post quite a bit on the different MS forums to help others that have questions about MS & Tysabri.

Again Mikey, don't stress about the infusion, just drink plenty of fluids so that your veins are nice and plump for the stick (heehee)

I'm so excited for you! Woo Hoo!!!

God bless -

Lauren :)

rileydster said...

Mikey,

Sorry we could not have lunch the other day. Please call me when you here again. You are in our prayers and in His hands. I can do no more than commit you to Him.

I am certain you have heard me say that when we find out the reason for everything that happens to us in this life, the answers will no longer be important to us.

May you and your family have a blessed Easter.

Dan

Anonymous said...

YOU WILL BE FINE..GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU..YOU INSPIRE PEOPLE LIKE ME..WANNA BELIEVERS..I SINCERELY AM PRAYING FOR YOUR COMPLETE RECOVERY..BE STRONG, BE TOUGH, AND HEY LAUGH ABOUT IT A LITTLE..YOU ARE A CHOSEN ONE, AND YOU WILL LEAVE A MARK..NOT YET THOUGH, YOU ARE STILL WORKING ON PEOPLE LIKE ME..GOD SPEED BE STRONG..GOD IS GOOD