Saturday, November 10, 2007

so bad, turned to real good

I was pretty lazy until about 2:00 when I decided to work out. Funny story, "sigh." Well, after I was working out for a bit, I wanted to try to test my max bench press; figure out the most I could bench press. SO, I dressed up like Ronald McDonald and got to it. If the bar weighs 12 lbs, then I was attempting to bench press 232lbs. I have gotten 227 before by myself, but just barely. So, since my dad was home I decided to have him spot me. I couldn’t get the 232 lbs up, so I got frustrated and continued with the work out. I took the weight off and tried to get 227 by myself. HA! Stupid move on my part, I was already pretty worn out, and I started to go up….and then it came back down. Now I have 227 lbs on my chest, and can’t do anything with it. I don’t freak out, I just start to roll the weight down my stomach to about my hips, I don’t know what I was planning on doing with the weight at this point, but it was really starting to hurt. I so didn’t want to yell for my dad, but I did and he pulled it off of me. I am pretty clever sometimes and glad I didn't break anything!

Once I got cleaned up, it was time to go to the viewing. This was for Mr. Simmerman, not Zimmerman like I said in a previous post. I was mistaken and stupid for that spelling. It was so hard to go to this. It made my stomach hurt, just thinking about what that family is going through. And when I talked to Logan, he just seemed empty inside. It felt as though he was just suppressing everything that he was feeling. I gave him my number and I am going to call him once I get situated into work. Suicide is such a devastating act for everyone affected. This was the SO BAD part of the day.

Directly after the viewing, I headed to Saturday night Dave church. Tonight was talking about how “God has a plan.” I just want to share a couple of points from what Dave shared with us.
* God always has your best interest at heart.
-right away I questioned this. I thought about Mrs. Simmerman. I was thinking, “How could any good come of this, how could so much pain and horrible feelings be associated in any way with something positive, I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” But then I let it soak in a little bit. You must trust that God has things under control, even when I do not.
* Are you willing to trust him to know what is best for your life?
* God will use bad, for good. (Yea, this is what Dave told us, pretty fitting)
* God wants; humility, transparency and vulnerability.
* In EVERY circumstance, God has something planned. Even the stupid and insignificant ones.

God is so great. I feel like I am a lot more ready to deal with life's challenges. You gotta just keep trusting. So, the REAL GOOD started with Saturday night church, the good was compounded by the fact that Lauren and her sis Meg came too. After church, we went out to eat at Outback Steakhouse. (Scott, this is our version of Australian cooking!) Then, after we went to see a movie, The Martian Child. I loved it, Lauren...not so much.Kenzie is all the way to the left, Lauren of course, Meg, and their cousin Brittney. Lauren is house sitting/chauffeuring for Kenzie since she is only 15, while her parents are out of town. The strangest thing is happening with Lauren, but I am still protecting my heart, or at least doing the best I can!

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